Chapter 394 - 352
Chapter 394: Chapter 352
"Are you angry?"
Barto squatted a head lower than Gu Ning, looking up at her slightly as he asked.
It was a familiar posture.
’Back when he was a regressed Mixed Breed, in many moments Gu Ning never noticed, he had always looked up at her just like this—craning his neck even more than he was now.’
’At the time, she had also been a Mixed Breed. He hadn’t liked looking up at such a scrawny Dwarf hybrid, just as he disliked anyone taller than him.’
’And yet, he’d often found himself wanting to look up at this little "Mixed Breed," secretly observing her every move.’
’He also frequently caught this little "Mixed Breed" stealing glances at him. Her gaze was filled with curiosity and something else, something strange that made him inexplicably flustered and annoyed. She especially loved staring at his tail.’
’Later, when he saw Cook burying his doggy head in her arms and saw how she couldn’t stop petting his dog ears and tail, he finally understood. She simply liked fluffy things.’
’She was good to Cook, better than she was to anyone else, but she only treated him like a dog—a Mixed Breed dog who was more beast than man.’
’After spending more time with her, he realized it wasn’t just Cook. She looked at any Beastman in their beast form with that very same expression.’
’He didn’t quite understand it—that look she had. It was as if she didn’t see beast-form Beastmen as Beastmen at all, yet her gaze held no contempt, disgust, or annoyance. On the contrary, it was filled with fondness, even delight.’
’Most Beastmen, regardless of gender, disliked Mixed Breeds. This was because there was a high chance they could become one themselves. Their hatred for Mixed Breeds stemmed more from a deep-seated fear that this devolution could happen to them.’
’Beastman Society had pushed for various laws and regulations concerning Mixed Breeds, strengthening their administration and improving their welfare as much as possible.’
’However, the uncontrollable transformations of Mixed Breeds made these systems feel flimsy and unreliable.’
’As long as devolution and mutation remained unsolved, the fear in the hearts of Beastmen would manifest as eternal ostracism and revulsion toward Mixed Breeds.’
’Gu Ning’s eyes held none of that emotion.’
’Even when she did fear or loathe a Beastman, it was only a result of being treated poorly by them.’
’It was never because of some inherent identity they possessed.’
’This quality of hers was what drew him to her so deeply.’
’The more time he spent with her, the more he discovered that her soul was far grander than her physical form.’
’She would collect useless scraps just to buy medicine for Cook. She would do odd jobs, hiding among a crowd of male Beastmen who terrified her. She had carried him on her own frail back, step by step, away from danger on a snowy night. She had even risked everything to lead a rescue for him when he was besieged by Mutant Species.’
’Just as she had never given up on Cook, she had never once thought of giving up on him.’
’He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand. He just didn’t understand.’
’How could a person like her exist in this world?’
’She looked so fragile, as if she couldn’t even protect herself.’
’But he never dared to underestimate her. He never had.’
’From the very beginning, even after he returned to being a normal Beastman, he was still looking up to her.’
’She was braver and stronger than most Beastmen.’
’Braver than him.’
’Seeing the males that always flocked around her, he couldn’t help but feel a surge of anger, a fire perpetually searing him from the inside.’
’He was furious that those males would shamelessly stick to her side. Furious that those bastards would use all sorts of tricks to deceive and coax her. Furious that she was too gentle and tolerant with them. But most of all, he was furious with himself for being unable to protect her better, for not being able to handle everything for her more thoughtfully.’
’He was angry with himself, hated himself, for being trapped in the body of a Mixed Breed, forever unable to truly touch her.’
’But on second thought, even if he weren’t a Mixed Breed, even if he were still that proud, high-status man he used to be in the Upper District, would he be worthy of her then?’
’What would make him any different from the likes of Alexander Andrew, who used their high status and cunning schemes just to secure a place by her side?’
’Alex wasn’t worthy of her. Those damn dogs and lions weren’t worthy of her. None of the men flocking around her were worthy of her.’
’All that time he spent with her in Zone 19, all those nights he’d held her as they slept, not daring to defile her with an improper touch... why did these men get to have that so easily?’
’Why? Why? WHY!’
’She was his moon, a moon that shone even brighter than the silver moon over the Second District.’
Barto pursed his lips, gazing up at the moon that now shone right before him, yet his heart was filled with gloom.
His pride crumbled under her clear, angry gaze, revealing the person trapped within the body of a Mixed Breed, the person crushed by devolution, insecure and weak, hiding behind this facade of a "normal Beastman."
He felt disgusted with himself.
"Don’t be angry." Barto lowered his gaze, his voice soft and hoarse. "You know this is how I am. I can’t stand the sight of anyone. I won’t cause you..."
Gu Ning raised her hand and swung it at his face—
SMACK!
The slap landed right on the little fox’s forehead.
"I am angry." Gu Ning pressed her palm against the little fox’s forehead and gave him a push, her tone slow and serious. "I don’t like you..."
Barto clenched his jaw. An unbearable pain seized his heart, as if it were being squeezed in a vise.
Gu Ning slowly finished, "...being like this with me."
Barto’s eyelashes trembled. He struggled to maintain a semblance of calm. "I know. It won’t happen again."
Gu Ning pouted, unsatisfied with Barto’s attitude.
But her limited language skills kept her from properly expressing the nuances of what she was feeling.
And that just made her even angrier.
She smacked Barto’s forehead again.
Feeling that this smack was harder than the last, Barto said, "Gently." ’You’ll hurt your hand,’ he thought.
’And your hand is so cold.’
Barto took her hand, wanting to warm it for her.
With a stern face, Gu Ning barked, "Sit! Don’t move!"
Barto straightened his spine and looked at her. "I told you, I’m not Cook. Stop treating me like..."
SMACK! Gu Ning slapped his forehead again, then grabbed his shoulders and shook him in frustration. "You’re not, you’re not, you’re not! How many times do I have to say it, you blockhead! You’re a fox, who’s treating you like a dog?!"
Barto stared at her, dazed, not understanding what she was saying.
After shaking him for a while to no avail, Gu Ning realized she couldn’t budge the big fox. She cupped his face in her hands and shook it instead. "Running off when you get angry, not answering my calls... even Cook couldn’t pick up your scent! You made me worry! What is wrong with you?!"
Barto’s head spun from the shaking. He wasn’t sure if it was from the thrill of her touching his face, or if the scent of her heat was just too intoxicating...
He couldn’t understand what Xiao Ning was saying at all, but she seemed genuinely furious.
But he was angry, too. The fire in his heart still burned, making him miserable.
"I get it!" Barto grabbed her hands, his voice a pained shout. "He’s perfect in every way! I won’t cause him any more trouble! I won’t bother you two anymore, alright?!"
Gu Ning froze. She took a deep, centering breath, yanked her hands free from the little fox’s grasp, and grabbed his ear. Still not satisfied, she gave him a hard shove—
And just like that, the big, dazed fox tumbled over.
Gu Ning plopped down and straddled him, grabbing handfuls of snow and rubbing it on his face. She had to get his head clear, or they would just keep talking past each other.
As she continued to rub the snow on him, her fingers brushed against something warm and wet. Her movements slowly came to a halt.
The little fox stared up at her, his eyes red-rimmed as if he had suffered the greatest injustice in the world.