Chapter 167: Asking Boss Lu to Prove He Is Boss Lu
Chapter 167: Chapter 167: Asking Boss Lu to Prove He Is Boss Lu
Fang Xian had initiated a forceful "courtship," and its target, Qian Bao, was trapped with no hope of escape. A gossipy monk was even asking him for the story of the "dog-piss flower." Surrounded by a den of monks, Qian Bao clutched a cup of Miep Milk Tea from Fang Xian, feeling small, helpless, and alone in the crowd.
But the power of milk tea is great.
When Qian Bao took his first sip, he forgave Fang Xian for his domineering ways and willingly joined the more authoritative circle of milk tea lovers.
The milk tea addiction was contagious. Many ascetics went from resisting it, to being drawn in, to deciding that one cup wouldn’t affect their cultivation, and finally, they succumbed completely, deeply addicted to its flavor.
"I like Miep Milk Tea. It’s rich and so satisfying to drink."
"I prefer the Berry Cheese Foam. A mouthful of fruit, a mouthful of slush, then a mouthful of cheese foam—it’s pure bliss."
"Does no one else like the Overnight Lemon Tea?"
"Overnight is the best!"
As the customers chatted, Lu Wu, who had received a perfect score of praise, glanced at her system.
[Task Progress: 222/2500]
The goal was still a long way off. She had to keep at it.
When it was time to close the stall for the day, Lu Wu packed everything up. The sun was high overhead.
Part of the Heavenly Buddha Temple was open to the public. At Little Monk Tianhui’s invitation, Lu Wu stepped inside the Buddhist Temple.
As for Chan Yu and Xia Yi...
Lu Wu rubbed her chin as she watched the two of them leave together.
’The worldly, charming Demoness and the cool, aloof Buddha Son. A classic popular ship.’
’I ship it. I totally ship it.’
The Heavenly Buddha Temple was vast, and the colors red and yellow filled her vision.
Monks came and went among the solemn buildings. Some were chanting scriptures with bowed heads, while others were practicing Magic.
"Hello, Boss Lu."
"Boss Lu, will you be staying for a vegetarian meal?"
"Boss Lu, let me show you the way."
Everywhere she went, monks greeted Lu Wu enthusiastically. With a crowd following behind her, she paid little attention to the scenery, feeling more like a high-ranking official on an inspection tour.
"Yes, hello comrades. You’ve all worked hard."
The words slipped out. Seeing the monks’ confused expressions, Lu Wu gave a sheepish smile.
After touring for a while, Lu Wu noticed many handsome monks. Whenever her gaze lingered on one of them for a moment too long, that same monk would inevitably pop out from some corner for a "chance" encounter further down her path.
After the eleventh "chance" encounter with a certain monk, Lu Wu announced she was tired and needed to go rest.
’Time to bounce.’
’This isn’t a temple of monks, it’s a den of demons!’
’You little monks won’t corrupt my Dao heart!’
The path down the mountain was steep, a bottomless drop from the cloud-wreathed peak.
On the fog-shrouded mountain path, the ascetics could still only rely on their own two feet, while Lu Wu was "duo-queuing" with her food stall.
This time, however, none of the ascetics gave Lu Wu any strange looks.
Leaving the ascetics in her dust, she quickly reached the foot of the mountain.
Lu Wu let the two little ones out of her Grotto Heaven to run around and play, while she headed to the market to restock on ingredients.
The first day’s business was decent, but to complete the mission, she needed to spawn more customers.
Wanted: The fugitive known as Boss Lu. Photo attached.
When Lu Wu scrolled past her own wanted poster on One World Communication, she thought she must have committed some heinous crime. But when she clicked on it, she found it was just a group of ravenous customers crying out for her location.
She had traveled quite far this time; many of her customers were still wandering around Yuanhai City and Hong’an City.
It would take time for them to get here.
To complete her mission sooner, Lu Wu decided to go undercover among the customer groups.
’To understand the customer, one must first eliminate the customer... ahem, I mean, *serve* the customer.’
As someone in the food service industry, Lu Wu possessed top-tier professionalism. However, going in personally felt as awkward as running into an acquaintance online. After some thought, she put on a disguise—a new username—and made a test post.
"Bros, you won’t believe this, but I saw Boss Lu in Yaoxian Town! Oh my god, I finally saw her in person! She’s not very photogenic, you guys. Boss Lu is way prettier in real life than in pictures."
Yaoxian Town was the closest town to the Heavenly Buddha Temple, and it was also Lu Wu’s current base of operations.
Based on her past experience in the entertainment industry, she was sure that comments like this would have fans flocking to her location.
After posting similar comments in a few threads, Lu Wu sat back and waited for the customers to arrive.
But as it turned out, some experiences from Blue Star didn’t apply to the Green Origin Realm, and they certainly didn’t apply to Boss Lu’s customer base.
"Hah, this has to be fake."
"I second that. Someone who met Boss Lu would be asking where she’s setting up her stall, not praising her looks. Totally fake."
"Be careful, everyone! Boss Lu is so popular lately that a lot of haters are putting on masks and coming here to stir up trouble. Don’t get fooled!"
"I’ve seen this ’Lu Xiaochu’ in several threads now. Probably just a clout chaser. Everyone remember to block them."
"Hey, look at this photo I just saw. Do you guys think this person looks like Boss Lu?"
"She really does look like her. Let’s go, let’s go ask."
Reading the replies, Lu Wu was baffled.
’You ignore the real Boss Lu, but you all flock to a fake one?’
Lu Wu followed the link to take a look. She immediately saw that the person was just imitating her to get traffic and didn’t even dare to show their face.
’Fakes! They’re all fakes!’
Lu Wu was so angry she wanted to expose the impostor herself.
"I’ve got a picture for proof!"
To prove she was the real deal, Lu Wu furiously uploaded a photo.
She’d had Dahuang and Huohuo help her take it.
The photo showed Lu Wu shopping for ingredients at the market. It was a profile shot of her familiar smiling face. Lu Wu was sure her customers would recognize her instantly.
"Oh look, this little hater is back. Look how blurry this picture is. Who knows if it’s been photoshopped?"
"Exactly! The more you try to prove it, the more suspicious you look."
"Everyone, I found another person who might be Boss Lu! Let’s go!"
"Post the location! On my way."
Lu Wu was defeated in her second attempt.
She glared at the picture, fuming.
’My Beast Pets don’t have hands, so what if the picture turned out a little blurry!’
"Alright, cards on the table, I’m done pretending! I am Lu Wu!"
Seeing her customers straying further and further off-topic, Lu Wu had no choice but to reveal her identity to prove her innocence, even attaching a blurry selfie.
She refused to believe that even this wouldn’t be enough to rein in her customers.
But she forgot that her customers were a strange bunch. Every last one of them was eccentric, their brains wired completely differently.
And sure enough, as soon as she posted that, the customers laughed.
"Look, everyone, this one’s getting desperate! Would you rather believe she’s Boss Lu, or that I’m the Buddha?"
"O great Buddha above, this humble believer is willing to trade ten years of my bro’s life in exchange for you showing me where Boss Lu is."
"I’m a disciple of the Buddhist Sect. I can confirm this is the Buddha."
???
Wait, were these customers just trolling her for fun? How was she *not* Boss Lu?
’Given: My name is Lu Wu.’
’Prove: I am Boss Lu.’
’How do I solve this problem?’