Chapter 13 Just Spare Me Already!
Li Yundong literally fell off his seat the moment Su Chan announced her so-called "rationing policy." Sounds of laughter escaped his lips before his ass even hit the floor. Mascot girl started laughing as well, though hers sounded way too forced, kind of like a duck being strangled.
Within seconds, the entire restaurant was filled with sounds of laughter and people smacking their hands on table tops.
Having realized that everyone was laughing at her expense, poor Su Chan glanced around the restaurant in complete puzzlement. She had a feeling that she had said the wrong thing again. She sat back down bashfully, trying her best to prevent her cheeks from combusting right then and there. But I wasn't wrong, was I? That's how it works in the Cultivation world! If there are thirteen people fighting for eight magical items, they'll keep fighting until five of them are dead!
Amidst the roars of laughter, Su Chan sat there quietly, playing with her fingers as she sulked. One could probably hang an object around her lips which were protruded in a huge pout. When she felt a sting in her eyes, she drooped her head to hide her tears. Anyone who looked at her now would assume that she was a victim of home abuse or something.
Li Yundong had been laughing so hard that his abs were actually starting to cramp a little. Rubbing his stomach, Li Yundong got up from the floor and returned to his seat. "Alright, alright, that's enough now. Just eat and don't talk." Another laugh escaped his lips. He quickly suppressed it, then cleared his throat. "It's best if you keep quiet anyway. That way you won't say the wrong thing again."
"Oh," Su Chan answered in a small voice and reached for her Big Mag. Well, silly bird or not, at least the girl knew how to channel hurt feelings into her appetite. She made a short work of the burger and managed to finish it in just three bites.
Li Yundong dragged Su Chan out of McDonald's the moment they finished lunch.
On the way home, there were a few times when Li Yundong suddenly remembered what happened back at McDonald's. Every time he did, he ended up laughing uncontrollably with both hands on his stomach and his back arched backwards. Su Chan, on the other hand, spent the entire journey with her head hung low and her face as red as a tomato.
After they entered the apartment, Su Chan halted her steps suddenly. Li Yundong turned around and saw her standing there, looking down at her feet. Moments later, she raised her head, and that was when Li Yundong noticed the tears in her eyes. Her next question, however, was one that tore his heartstrings to shreds: "Am I really stupid?"
Holy shit... Li Yundong thought. Don't tell me she's starting to doubt her own intelligence because of those stupid brain teasers?
All of a sudden, it occurred to Li Yundong that he might have been too carried away in all his laughing just now.
Poor girl... I've obviously hurt her feelings... God, I'm such an asshole...
Li Yundong sighed.
"You're not stupid at all. Those questions are just designed to trick people," he said. "They were meant as a joke anyway. You're very smart, really."
"You're lying!" Su Chan yelled, her beautiful eyes cloudy with unshed tears.
Li Yundong raised his right hand swore an oath. "I shall be struck by the Five Thunders of Heaven if I'm lying to you!"
Su Chan sniffed. "Fine. I believe you," she said, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. In the world of Cultivation, there was nothing more fearsome than being struck by the Five Thunders of Heaven. (T/N: Being struck by the Five Thunders of Heaven is a Chinese saying which conveys the idea that heavenly judgement will eventually befall those who conduct evil deeds)
Li Yundong sighed in relief.
"Now that's more like it," he said. "My Su Chan is so beautiful and smart. She's like the living embodiment of beauty and wisdom! Stupid? Pfft! That's impossible!"
Su Chan made a snorting sound that sounded like something between a laugh and a sob.
"Who are you referring to as yours? You're shameless!" Su Chan snapped and quickly averted her gaze.
Li Yundong studied Su Chan's face for a moment and noted the faint blush coloring her cheeks. Despite her harsh tone, Li Yundong knew she wasn't really mad at him. Okay, maybe she was a little mad at him, but only because she was shy about being called his. Then, when he noticed the way she was biting down on her bottom lip to fight off a smile, Li Yundong's heart skipped a few beats. For a moment there, he thought he'd died and gone to heaven, and was now staring at the face of an angel.
Eventually, Su Chan recovered enough of her composure to risk looking at Li Yundong again. The moment she did, she was thrown into a daze by the heated look Li Yundong was giving her, and she couldn't breathe. The intensity of his gaze stole her breath, like some kind of vacuum inside her lungs, sucking all the air away.
The pair gazed at each other deeply, supercharging the air around them with lust, intimacy, and warmth.
Li Yundong suddenly felt a strong urge to pull Su Chan into his arms. In his mind, he'd hug her tight, then kiss her, adore her, and love her. However, he didn't have the courage to risk it lest he scared the girl away. It was as though she was a beautiful bubble that would burst and disappear into oblivion the moment he touched her.
Su Chan held Li Yundong's gaze. Slowly, she began inching closer towards him, and with each step she took, her unique fragrance teased his nostrils. Plum blossoms, Li Yundong thought. She smells like plum blossoms. All of a sudden, Li Yundong's throat felt parched. He was thirsty as hell, though his thirst was for something other than water.
Something inside Li Yundong's heart ignited. Next thing he knew, the sizzling heat of arousal was spreading all over his body. The sudden tightness between his legs reminded him of the fact that he wanted something to happen, preferably right this moment. He wanted to act, to move his damn body so he could finally end this stalemate between them. He had no idea what was going to happen next, but he was kind of hoping that it wouldn't involve much clothing.
Eventually, Su Chan got close enough to him that he could feel her breath tickling his face, and he couldn't help but wonder how anyone could look so beautiful just by breathing. Like a moth to a flame, Li Yundong found himself drawn to Su Chan's large and bright eyes. Those eyes captivated him and filled him with awe, because for the first time in his life, a girl was looking at him like he was actually worth a shit.
To hell with love confessions. Actions speak louder than words, so Li Yundong was going to show her how he felt. His hand rose from his side to touch her, but then Su Chan's lips moved. "Can I ask you a question?"
Li Yundong swallowed and let his hand drop back down, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. "Wh- what is it?" he stammered.
Su Chan's lashes fluttered a few times. "Why did the bird die of silliness?"
Oh, for f*ck's sake...
Li Yundong turned around and began banging his head against the wall.
Su Chan looked at him strangely and said, "What's the matter with you?"
Kill me now, somebody, Li Yundong thought. Turning away from the wall, he cleared his throat and said, "It's nothing."
Li Yundong didn't have afternoon classes today, so he spent the afternoon sitting in the living room, staring off into space, processing the events from the past few days. Of course, his musings would occasionally be interrupted by Su Chan, who had embarked on a quest to discover the hidden truth behind "why the bird died of silliness."
When night came, Li Yundong was still lying on the fluffy carpet in his living room with his hands behind his head, eyes closed, and mind racing. What happened today only feels scary, he thought. But thinking about it now, we weren't really in any danger at all. Those f*ckers never even got close. But how? How did I suddenly have all these skills? Holy shit... I climbed up four floors without using the stairs. How?
Hell, crazy shit like that wouldn't even have crossed my mind in the past!
Or maybe... maybe being with a beautiful woman helped unleash my full potential?
Yeah. That's gotta be it, right? I met a girl, ran into a bunch of bad guys, then went into super saiyan mode in order to save her... Which means I can only use my body's full potential when I'm in danger...
No, that's not gonna be enough. I gotta learn how to fight or else I'll end up being chased around again like today. Besides, I'm pretty sure those f*ckers will be back again.
Deep down, Li Yundong knew that he would likely be facing more danger in the future. Even before Su Chan came into his life, he had quite a knack for running head-first into trouble. Now, after adding Su Chan into the picture? That chick's troublemaking ability could probably topple an entire nation let alone the life of a lowly university student! F*ck! He'd be a dead man walking if he didn't pick up a few self-defense moves!
I guess Taekwondo isn't a bad choice? Li Yundong thought. Out of the many clubs and societies at Tiannan University, the Taekwondo Club was the only combat-related club. Presided by Mr. Handsome Beefcake, Zhao Yujian, the Taekwondo Club also happened to be the club with the highest number of beautiful women as members. Most guys who walked into the dojo usually came out looking a bit dazed, not because they had taken a roundhouse kick to the face during practice, but because they'd been utterly bewitched by the sight of beautiful women performing high kicks with their legs raised in the air. But hey, not that he had any right to judge since he himself was one of those guys too. Well, probably not anymore since he had Su Chan now. Speaking of Su Chan...
Su Chan's going to support my decision to join the Taekwondo Club, right? Yeah, she probably would. Taekwondo involved a lot of showy performances after all. Yeah, there are a lot of fancy demonstrations, competitions, and stuff... I bet she loves those... Li Yundong rolled onto his side and shut his eyes. Whatever... Time to get some sleep...
Something tickled his cheek.
Li Yundong's eyes snapped open. "What the—"
Su Chan's face was hovering above his and she was hugging a pillow to her chest. Through the curtain of her dark, silky hair, Li Yundong could see the sharpness and intensity of her eyes, which seemed to glimmer in the dark like rubies.
Li Yundong exhaled. "What are you doing here? Jeez, don't you make any noise at all when you walk?"
Su Chan blinked a few times, then smiled. "Yundong," she said with a husky voice, causing the tightness between his legs to return. "I still don't get it. Why did the bird die of silliness?"
Li Yundong groaned and reached for the pillow beside him. He pressed the pillow against his face and said, "Just spare me already!"
Li Yundong woke up the next day looking like a panda; the dark bags under his eyes proved just how relentless Su Chan had been in her quest to turn a stupid brainteaser into an epic whodunnit. And by relentless, he meant the balls-out, I'm-going-to-fucking-pester-you-for-the-whole-night type of relentless which nearly drove him out of his damn mind! Ugh! Worse, the little minx wouldn't accept any explanation he gave her.
Groaning, Li Yundong pulled his pillow out from under his head and hugged it in front of his chest. "Argh... This sucks..."Li Yundong said, rolling around the carpet. "God, I feel like shit... I just wanna sleep..."
Su Chan, on the other hand, had woken up, gotten dressed early, and was sitting cross-legged on the bed in a meditative posture. After she had completed the two Zhoutians, Su Chan left the bedroom in high spirits.
After walking into the living room, Su Chan stopped short when she saw Li Yundong rolling around on the carpet. She then walked over and crouched down beside him. "What's the matter with you? Don't you have to go to xuetang today?" she asked.
Li Yundong stopped rolling and released a long groan. "It's called going to class, dammit! Not xuetang. It's the 21st century for f*ck's sake! Nobody uses xuetang anymore!"
"Oh," Su Chan mumbled and began inspecting the bags and dark circles around his eyes. "You didn't manage to get a good rest last night?" she asked.
Li Yundong sat bolt upright. "Pfft! As if! Look at me now!" He flexed his bicep. "I'm in top form! I feel even more energetic than a dragon and a tiger combined!"
Su Chan covered her mouth and chuckled. "Your breath stinks!"
Li Yundong's face fell. Embarrassing myself in front of a lady first thing in the morning... Wow, that's a new low, even for me, Li Yundong thought as he made his way to the bathroom.
They left the apartment after Li Yundong made himself presentable.
The whispers began the moment he stepped through the campus gates. Everyone was pointing fingers at him and giving him strange looks.
Li Yundong suddenly stopped walking, causing Su Chan to stop too. She turned around and gave Li Yundong a curious look. "Is there something on my face?" Li Yundong asked, touching his cheek.
Su Chan studied his face for about half a minute or so. "Your eye sockets are sunken, and the skin at the center of your forehead is dark—"
"The hell?" Li Yundong said, cutting her off. "Dark center what? You're not saying that I'm dying, are you?"
"These are signs that your kidneys and heart are out of sync with each other," Su Chan explained. "I wouldn't go so far as to say that you're dying though."
Li Yundong rolled his eyes.
He had another morning lecture today, so he brought Su Chan to the back of the lecture hall like usual. Throughout the lecture, students, male and female alike, kept glancing towards the last row. This time, however, Li Yundong was the object of their interest instead of Su Chan.
When the students whispered to each other, Li Yundong could vaguely hear words like "King of Parkour", "walking on walls", "badass", and et cetera.
Some of them even commented on the dark circles around his eyes, some kind of nonsense about "overdoing it in the bedroom" and "having his way with her."
Whatever. Li Yundong didn't give a shit about those comments; he was too f*cking exhausted to care. Heck, he could barely keep his eyes open.
Li Yundong had used up too much of his strength yesterday. Even with the Jindan's enhancements, before he managed to convert the Jindan's Yuanyang into his own Yuanyang and reach the Jinshen phase, strenuous physical activities would still wear him out. (T/N: Jinshen is the 7th phase of Cultivation)
Not long after the lecture began, Li Yundong slumped over his desk and fell into a deep sleep.
Seeing that Li Yundong had fallen asleep, Su Chan rose from her seat and walked around to stand behind him. Like last time, she performed the Three-Pronged Flower Gathering technique to mobilize Li Yundong's Qi.
When performed correctly, the Three-Pronged Flower Gathering would produce effects similar to that of Xiao Zhoutian, which involved mobilizing the Qi inside the human body in such a way that could significantly reduce fatigue and exhaustion. Su Chan's hands hovered above Li Yundong's head as she worked, her fingers moving nimbly against his scalp in an undulating motion, massaging all the vital acupoints on his head: Tianzhu; Chenglin; Fengchi; Yuzhen.
The guys who were sitting around Li Yundong weren't having such a fun time though. What they saw pissed them off to no end, especially with how gentle and loving Su Chan was with Li Yundong.
By the time Li Yundong woke up, Su Chan's massage had already ended.
So no, no disgusting moans from him this time.
Much to Li Yundong's relief, Su Chan had stayed quietly beside him until he finished all his classes in the afternoon.
Guess what happened yesterday must've affected her quite a bit... Li Yundong thought.
Li Yundong didn't go home after class. Instead, he and Su Chan headed to the west side of the campus where the university multimedia building was.
That building's second floor housed the Taekwondo club's dojo.
The moment they stepped through the entrance, Li Yundong saw the building's directory board, which consisted of several bronze plaques arranged in rows. One of the plaques had these words engraved on it:
Tiannan City's Taekwondo Association - Tiannan University Branch.
When Li Yundong was still in his first year, there was actually another dojo here ran by the Karate Club. Sadly, the club got disbanded after its president had his ass kicked by Zhao Yujian.
That was, in fact, how Zhao Yujian made his name in Tiannan University and gained the massive fanbase he had today.
Despite having spent two years in Tiannan University, Li Yundong had never actually set foot in the multimedia building until now. He moved passed the directory board and kept walking until he reached a corridor filled with rooms on both sides. He stopped, then glanced around for a while. The vague sounds of a piano playing confirmed what he had read on the directory board earlier; the first floor of the multimedia building housed Tiannan University's Music Club. Most of the students walking out of these rooms were women. Correction: beautiful, elegant, and artsy women whose bodies looked like works of art as well.
In the past, this is what would've happened if Li Yundong stepped into this corridor: he would stop and stare, start drooling, then receive looks of disdain from these women.
Now? Hah. None of these women, whom he'd once deemed as "peerless beauties,” could even hold a candle to Su Chan. The girl was in a league of her own and hands down the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on, bar none.
Admittedly, he was acting like one of those pretentious, nouveau-riche people who scorned their previous way of life after attaining sudden wealth. No doubt it wasn't something that he was proud of, but he couldn't help himself.
Moving along the corridor, the beautiful ladies of the music club all did a double-take when they saw the pair. A storm of emotions flashed inside their eyes: shock and surprise when they saw Su Chan; doubt and suspicion when they looked at Li Yundong.
Here was a guy whose looks were nothing to write home about, a guy so average that his name might as well be Joe. Yet, standing right beside him, was perhaps the most beautiful woman they had ever set eyes on.
Mind-blowing stuff indeed.