Chapter 580: Hope is Dead
Chapter 580: Hope is Dead
Happiness was elusive and nothing more than a heat haze. A few moments in time can be said to be happy, but when Arthur looks back at them now, most of them were not genuine happiness.
His memories with his father were now sullied, and what little happiness he once pursued now tasted bitter in his mouth. Arthur stared at the man who spent most of his life recreating a fantasy of glory, but when he looked deeper, he saw a neglected child.
"Your father neglected you, and to compensate for that, believing that it's right, you took control of every detail of my life."
"I showered you with affection, love, and care. I never once forced you to do anything. I was the best father there is, and I was never disappointed even when you didn't awaken."
"Because you were the one behind that too," sighed Arthur. "You gave me this cursed power that devours who I am and the responsibility to be everyone's enemy. I live every day knowing that many want me dead."
"Great people are always destined to be hated."
"And I have no reasons to desire that."
"Then, what do you desire?"
It was the first time his father had asked him something like that. As a child, Arthur had never noticed it, but his father always gave him things but never asked what he wanted. This might have been the reason that Arthur never desired anything.
Arthur asked himself the same question every waking moment. It remained unanswered for so long until he met his father again. Arthur believed love to be the strongest in his fading emotions, but that was not the case.
It was hatred.
As much as he loved Diana, and as much as he missed her, Arthur knew that within him, he felt nothing but hatred for those who made him a prisoner of someone else's body and an outsider in his life. Arthur was separated from everything he loved and cared for repeatedly until he couldn't restrain it anymore.
Arthur did not move on purpose nor with the clearest intentions, but it took him a second to claw at his father's neck and raise the old man in the air. His nostrils flared as his eyes turned red, letting every feeling of injustice and hatred leave his body.
"This is what I desire, dear father," glared Arthur at the old man squirming in a chokehold. "I desire revenge and pain for those who wronged me, and you are on their side. You sacrificed our wellbeing for the greater cause, and you never doubted that decision."
"I... did that... to save..."
"You are no savior, pathetic old man. You are a selfish man who keeps harming whoever he meets because he believes that is the right path. At the end of that path, do you see our corpses?"
Arthur tightened his grip around his father's neck, wanting to crush the life out of it. He wanted him to feel pain, even if it was nothing compared to the pain he had to suffer over and over. Arthur wanted something for himself in this life, but over and over, life denied him that.
His name, powers, relationships, and struggles never belonged to him. Nothing in this life belonged to him, and Arthur never belonged anywhere.
"You wanted me to be the outsider, and I became that," his voice was cracking as the neck in his hand was about to snap. "But I am in pain, and you don't care. It seems that no one cares about that, but everyone has favors to ask and problems to solve."
His father started kicking around, knocking away the rocking chair to the ground. Arthur stared at his father's old face turning blue, knowing that killing him would not undo the injustices Arthur had suffered.
This was why Arthur did not want to meet this man again. The world and beliefs he constructed before were torn apart, leaving him nothing but this suffocating feeling of loss. Arthur raised his head upward while closing his eyes.
A hand reached inside his chest and crushed his organs before turning the fragments into a lump in his throat. His teeth gnashed against each other as the arm holding his father began to shake.
"Goddammit!" roared Arthur as he leaped forward, slamming his father to the wooden shelves full of books. "I hate you, and I hate what I've become because of you!"
Arthur let go of his father as the books fell to the ground. His father was still breathing, even though his neck had turned blue. Arthur did not know if this was his real body, but he couldn't kill this man just yet.
"I hate myself," laughed Arthur with a shake of his head. As he looked at his father with a tilting head, he felt the absurdity of life. "I wish I was never born, to begin with."
***
Happiness was elusive, and hatred was too powerful. As its vines crawl from the depth of hearts, it covers our image of everything. When we allow the hatred outside, it burns everything we once built. It kills the beliefs of goodness, love, and hope.
Hatred reaches out its poisonous claws toward them, never letting go. No matter how much we try to push it down and bottle it again, it remains as if the dam is broken forever.
"Hope is dead," said Arthur as his head leaned on the wooden edge of the window. "I once dreamt of a reunion and a meal together, but I had no idea when it became impossible to accomplish. The world killed the hopes I once had."
"Ever since the termination of my contract as a scavenger, the world turned into a rope that strangled me. I always argued that life should not be this way, but like whispers from hell, it tells me that it is this way. There is no other way but suffering."
His father wheezed before him, still barely breathing as Arthur wanted to leave him alive. But, as his eyes turned to the old man, he could see the golden eyes looking at him through his unconsciousness.
"Your name is Arthur," he said to his father. "I see how befitting it is now. I hate what you made me be just as much as I hate you, Arthur."
"I... know," his father answered. "I know that you refused what I wanted you to be ever since the merge. I will keep trying to reverse that damage and end this timeline because this one is far worse."
The hoarse voice of his father was dreadful. Arthur stared at him, but he did not allow doubts to appear in his heart. His father did not know the future but expected it.
"There will come a day when you realize that I was right. The last piece of advice from your father, Arthur. Living as a puppet is nothing compared to the guilts of killing your mother."
"...what did you do?" Arthur glared at his father, whose face had a smile now. "Answer me!" his voice made the room shake, but his father simply met his eyes without fear.
"I will make you taste the cup I once sipped from. You hate me because you never had to suffer what I suffer, and I wanted to show you that."
"If anything happens to her, I will crush every bone in your body."
"I would never attack my wife, son. However, I will not clean the mess that you have created. Did you truly believe that the guardians will stand idle as you opened a new timeline?"
"Mom is unharmed," frowned Arthur as he took large strides toward his father. "You are lying about this to disturb me.Tell me the truth. What... have... you... done?"
Arthur pushed his foot against his father's shoulder as he mouthed every word. His limits were lifted, and his leg almost crushed the shoulder into nothing. His father winced, but his smile did not disappear.
"The moment you entered these ruins, the plan began to unfold. I wanted to fix things, but this little conversation made me realize I cannot have you on my side the way you are now. I will make you fix things yourself. You will wish that you had that timeline, Arthur because I am turning this one into hell for you."
"She has nothing to do with this, bastard!" Arthur grabbed his father's neck, and his hatred almost made him want to kill it. "Tell me what you did!"
"I refuse, dear son," his father grinned. "I am just as willing to make the sacrifices that hurt me. So, let us see who breaks first, you or me?"
As his words were done, Arthur could feel the space crumbling. His grip on his father began to loosen as everything turned into a vague outline of light.
"This is the path of no return, Seref," glared Arthur at his father's face. "I will never be your ally if anything happens to her. I would find you and make you suffer every moment for eternity."