Chapter 227 - It Was So Tiring
The thing with insensitive people is they do not know they are insensitive.
Does that give them an excuse to hurt another person?
The answer is no.
These insensitive people may not know they are hurting someone. But it does not change the fact that they hurt somebody; they may have triggered another person's breakdown.
It takes just a few words to break somebody who broke already.
It takes just a few lines to destroy somebody emotionally.
This person in front of her asking her if she is okay is one of those people. She slowly nodded, and the moment she did, he pushed her against the wall.
This action did not surprise her. She saw the look on his face when he exited the room earlier, a familiar warning look. When she thought of their relationship, Sumire wondered why she even continued to date him. The relationship was so toxic and bad for her.
It was obvious why she just wanted to be normal. She played around with the idea before to be normal. During that time frame, she met Nagawa Sano; he was a good guy on the surface. He knew a lot of people. He was one of those friendly types. He was a good person.
She felt his lips on her neck and shuddered. "If you do anything, I will stop talking to you."
"I thought you said you didn't hate me."
"Mmm."
"So--" Sumire pushed his hand away, and she shook her head. Does he think just because she no longer hated him, he could do this to her? Just being near him still made her feel disgusted.
"Quit acting like you own me."
"Your mine." Sanos words are firm.
"We'll take these." She did not respond to those words and pushed a small box into his fingers.
"You still have this?"
"Habit." She grabbed some in the pharmacy earlier when she saw his behavior, but this response should calm him."
She hears somebody call his name, and Sano leaned forward. "See you? Another doctor will be in charge later?"
"Have fun at your meeting."
He pulled away from her, and a relieved sigh escaped her lips. Sano pointed to the stairwell on the side. "Sit down."
"You're not going to--" Sumire stopped when she saw the look on his face. She took a seat beside him, and Sano rested his head on her shoulders.
She sighs. "You're not making this easy for me."
She wanted for Sano to leave so she could return to what she was doing before. What was she doing before? Getting sad and thinking of how tiring life was? Maybe it is better to deal with Sano's nonsense then go through this.
"Like my change? It's just for you."
"It can only be Yuhi; even then, I do not know how long this will last."
"You're insecure. "Sano nodded. "This won't last long then."
Is that so? Just because she is insecure does not mean she would leave Yuhi and return to him. But Sano is confident. He does not understand her emotions at all, but he knows something. This is enough for him to be confident.
Her thoughts broke off when he removed his head from her shoulders and sat up. He took something out of his bag, and he pressed a strawberry to her mouth.
"Tasty?"
Sumire slowly nodded.
"Take it all." Sano passed her a small container.
She raised her eyebrows when she saw the container. A small pink fancy decorated lid. "Is this your gift from your cousin? If so, I probably--" He placed the container in her hands.
"It's for you."
"For me?" Sumire repeated, puzzled.
"Look, didn't you say I have to make it up to you first? So that is what I am doing now."
Indeed she said such words to him and doing something like this would make her happy. If Yuhi did it, she would be very happy right now. But since it came from him, all she could do was behave cautiously. Still, she opened the box and picked up another strawberry.
"I will eat it."
Is he genuine or not? It is hard to say. It was like that at the start too. Sano did everything he could to convince her. He put in that much effort to convince her that he was sincere. He persuaded her, or did he? Back then, she was even more of a mess.
Sano noticed that and took advantage of her. He whispered sweet words into her ear. He behaved the way she wanted, so it was easier for him to manipulate her.
It was easy for him to make her suffer because he knew from the start. Sumire did not know whether he knew everything, but he must have sensed something about her.
Her thoughts broke off when she hears a flickering sound. A metallic sound —is that the sound of a lighter? It can't be, right? But sure enough, when she looked over, she saw Sano smoking. Huh?
"What is with that face? You already knew about this."
"I did, but—" Sumire could not finish her sentence. Normally he would not show her. Could it be that he is serious about this change? No, she can't fall for it. Remember what he did before; remember the pain from that time.
If she remembers that, she won't fall for his trap again.
"Why did Yuhi pass out?" Sumire decided to swiftly change the topic before he notices what she is thinking.
"I told him about you." Sano paused and proceeded to explain, but she cut him off.
"This child will endanger my life, right?"
"You can tell?"
"Mm, it is my own body."
She knew from the very start, that was why it surprised her when she heard about her pregnancy. To think the child of the man that made her happy is the one that is causing her to suffer.
"I will keep the child."
Samp sighs. "You know as your doctor, I have tried to maintain my professionalism but—"
"What are your real thoughts?" Sumire asked. She wants to know what is going on in his head.
If she hears his opinion on this, maybe she will get a glimpse of the current him? She was experimenting. It sounds cruel, but how else could she trust him? Sumire no longer wanted to experience the same anguish and pain as back then. Even if she tests, there is no guarantee that things will return to how they were before.
Does she even want to return to those days?
It was suffocating pretending to smile, pretending to be strong when she wasn't.
It was so tiring for her.
But it was the only way to make him stay. Back then, she did so much just so this person could remain by her side.