Chapter 1354: She Is Scared
Chapter 1354: She Is Scared
Lu Lijun went to the bed and made her sleep comfortably and covered her with the quilt. He went to the wardrobe, wore his trench coat and stepped out of the room. He went to the office where Xiao Min and Noah had also finished their work as the office hours were over.
“Are you going somewhere?” Noah asked, seeing Lu Lijun wearing his coat.
“Hmm,” Lu Lijun nodded, “Brother An Tian asked me to meet him. I have to get Yuyan’s reports too.”
“Responsible husband, huh?” Noah teased.
“No need to be jealous. You can also get one with a royal ass,” Lu Lijun said, turning Noah speechless in front of Xiao Min.
Not bothering with Noah’s reaction, Lu Lijun instructed, “Once Yuyan wakes up, set that gaming device from your room to mine. I might be late,” and left.
Xiao Min looked at Noah, “It’s fine. You don’t have to bother with me when it comes to your personal life.”
Noah just nodded and pretended to work again.
——
Lu Lijun reached the cafe where An Tian was waiting for him. Lu Lijun sat in a chair opposite to An Tian, “I am sure brother Tian didn’t call me here only to get Yuyan’s reports.”
An Tian smiled, “I always knew you were way too smart.”
“Nothing new for me to know,” Lu Lijun replied.
An Tian ignored the narcissist attitude of this guy and put the file in front of Lu Lijun, “Her reports.”
“Lu Lijun accepted it and asked, “You said once that she was healed a few years back, but when I returned home from England and once in a while saw her sleeping, she always used to have some nightmares. She always had one thing to say- ‘Don’t leave me.’ I think you were wrong about her condition that she was healed.
“Psychic issues are not that easy to get rid of. Even though the person is healed, the tresses of the cause always remain buried somewhere to come out at any moment. But as long as she was fine and didn’t have any severe attacks, we can say she was fine.”
“Now what?” Lu Lijun asked. “She is back to her senses and she knows who I am.”
“Was it even the case that she didn’t know who was the one next to her,” An Tian commented.
“Not now but when we were in hospital,” Lu Lijun said.
“Hmm,” was what An Tian said as he wished to leave it to Jiang Yuyan to tell Lu Lijun or not. “What do you plan to do next?”
“Once she is fine, I am sure she would want to return,” Lu Lijun replied, “I had told her that I won’t stop her.”
An Tian looked straight into his eyes, “And what do you want?”
Lu Lijun sighed, “You know what I want.”
“Then you should not give up.”
“I am not giving up but I just don’t want to pressurize her. I had promised her that I will do whatever she wants so I need to stay away from her. It is what she wants.”
“Are you sure about what exactly she wants?”
“I don’t wish to expect much. I am fine with how things are going.”
“But it is not fine for her. Do you want her to be like this always? Once you take her position in the company, what will she have left in life?”
Lu Lijun felt puzzled, “I really don’t know what to do. All I want is for her to be happy.”
“Then go for her. Make her realize that she needs you too and running away from you is not an option.”
“I tried this before and I was wrong. I ended up pushing away from me.”
“And because of that, you don’t want to understand her at all,” An Tian countered.
“I am trying to understand her instead of forcing myself on her. What more can I do but keep my feelings to myself only?”
“You need to understand why she is like this. Why she doesn’t wish to move in her life. Thinking that she is stubborn and heartless, who won’t melt and just wants to do what she wants, is what we can think but it is not true at all.”
It surprised Lu Lijun and asked calmly, “Then what is the truth?”
“The truth is she is scared,” An Tian answered.
“Scared? Scared of what?” Lu Lijun asked as he felt worried.
“She is scared of being happy, scared of expecting anything and then losing it, scared of being left alone, scared of getting hurt, scared of getting the promises being broken,” An Tian answered, “All her life since she was just a kid, she only got pain and was always at the losing end. She doesn’t want to go through it again because she knows she would not be able to take it again. She was out of one trauma and was happy but again it didn’t last long. She lost something precious to her. What she had gone through, we can’t even imagine. The one who suffers is the only one who knows that pain.”
Lu Lijun turned silent. He totally agreed to what An Tian said.
An Tian continued, “Anyone in her place would have been broken to not her up again but she kept herself sane for you and the family. In the past ten years, is there any moment when she has done something for herself for her happiness. She only did it for others but not for herself. She just doesn’t want to be happy. She was scared of it. That is the kind of trauma her mind has turned into now.”
“You are right. She just does everything for others.”
“That’s why you need to understand her. Make her feel that she can be happy again and nothing is going to snatch it again from her. You will be there for her and she can rely on you. It’s fine to expect and love again. She won’t be disappointed this time.”
“I will try.”
“Not just mentally but she is broken physically as well. Even if she starts feeling for you, she won’t accept it.”
“Why? I don’t mind whatever it is and I will take care of her.”
“That she knows but knowing her own condition, she might not think she is good for you. She might think her life is a mess and she doesn’t want to pull you into it. She might think she will burden you with her responsibility and might think she can’t give you something that you deserve. There are many things a person can think when they know they are broken like this.”
Lu Lijun stayed silent for a while and asked, “Do you think she feels at least something for me?”
“That is up to you to find out. I am not a god to know what goes in everyone’s mind. What I can say is that there can still be hope for you.”
“Thank you for telling me all this.”
“As long as everything is fine.”
“Can I ask you something?” Lu Lijun asked.
“Hmm.”
“Why do you care so much about everyone?”
“Well, you can say I am just a nosey,” An Tian smiled.
“Other than that,” Lu Lijun asked.
“When I came to China for the first time after abandoning my family and even my name in England, Lu Qiang was the first and only person who supported me. Though I met him as your psychologist, he treated me like a friend. He showed me that just to be good with others, you don’t need to share blood. There are things above than the blood relations where you trust them for your life even. I had learned so many things from him. Such a good heart he had. He was like my shelter on stormy nights. What was important to him will always be important to me, his family or anything.
Lu Lijun could understand him. “It’s good that my brother had good friends with him.”
“Yuyan has gone through a lot after he was gone. I just want to see her the way Lu Qiang had always wished. And I know only you can do it, Lu Lijun. I think it’s time for her to move and leave her fears behind.”
“I will try,” Lu Lijun assured.