The Monk That Wanted To Renounce Asceticism

“I… Well… I…” Squirrel fell into a dilemma as his tiny eyes kept rolling for an answer. His two senior brothers had capitulated, so he decisively gave up resisting. He said, “I wanted to say that Master was right!”

“Good child. Jingfa, you do not have any other objections, right?” asked Fangzheng.

Lone Wolf chuckled. “Back when we left the mountain, you had already mentioned that dogs would be tormented, so I was already mentally prepared. I’m fine with anything!” Lone Wolf raised his head up proudly as though he would not hesitate to lay down his life if needed.

In that case, Fangzheng waved his hand to signal their return to the mountain!

“Eh? Master, are we going to return now?” Squirrel asked in excitement. He was naturally happy not to be tormented by the lovey-dovey sights.

Fangzheng chuckled. “That’s right, we are returning. It was just a morning walk to let you experience the mood in the village. Next up…”

“What’s next?” asked Squirrel. “Is it mealtime?”

“Mealtime?” Heh heh.”

It did not take long before everyone stood in front of a big door. Lone Wolf choked back his sobs as he said, “Master, I think we should bring more food before entering the door?”

Lone Wolf was truly afraid after experiencing the hunger on their last trip out.

“What are you saying? With me here, do you think you will starve?”

“No, I’m afraid I’ll starve to death,” said Lone Wolf softly.

Dong!

“Ah woo!”

Finally, Fangzheng entered the Formless Door with his protesting disciples.

However…

“Ding! The Formless Door only permits at most two living beings to enter at once. You have exceeded the quota. The Formless Door is on strike now,” said the System suddenly.

Fangzheng was taken aback as he asked bitterly, “Does this mean we can’t go on our holidays together?”

“You can level up the Formless Door, but it… requires some money.”

“How much?”

“A minimum of a million. With a million, you can purchase a door that can teleport three people. How about it? Isn’t it very cheap and economical? You should know that many people are willing to spend trillions to buy such an item,” the System said in an honest sounding manner.

Fangzheng chuckled. “I’m penniless!”

Therefore…

“Master, I think I should stay at home and watch over it,” exclaimed Red Boy first.

“Master, who knows how long we will be gone? The monastery needs someone to sweep it after all. I’ll stay behind,” said Monkey.

“Master, our monastery has some stuff now. We should fend off thieves, right? As the number one guardian protector of the monastery, I have an inescapable duty,” exclaimed Lone Wolf.

“Master!” Squirrel was slow to respond. He immediately turned anxious when he noticed that his senior brothers had given their reasons ahead of him. Before he even thought of an answer, he shouted at the top of his lungs, only to tragically realize that he had no idea what to say!

Fangzheng looked at Squirrel who was gripping with anxiety as he shook his head in resignation. “Forget about reasons. Everyone shall draw straws. The one with the shortest straw shall follow me.”

Everyone instantly turned nervous when they heard Fangzheng. However they realized that the probability was only 25%, so immediately, they became spirited again.

Fangzheng got four thin straws and broke it. Then he clumped them in his hand and revealed their ends. “Alright. Grab one.”

Squirrel looked at each straw, unsure which to grab.

Red Boy’s eyes had a furtive look. He had paid attention to Fangzheng’s motions and already had an idea. He grabbed one of the straws and said, “Master, I’ll be taking this!”

Fangzheng nodded and allowed him to take it. Everyone looked at the straw which was the length of two palms!

Red Boy immediately laughed out loud. “It’s so long. It looks like I don’t have to go. Senior Brothers, have a good trip. Don’t cry when you see things. Hehe…”

When they saw Red Boy looking so confident, Monkey, Squirrel, and Lone Wolf wore sullen expressions. They were doomed since Red Boy had such a long straw. The probability of them being selected had raised to 33%!

Monkey let out a Buddhist proclamation. “Amitabha. May Buddha bless me. I’ll leave it to fate.”

Red Boy chuckled. “Senior Brother, it’s useless pleading to Buddha at this juncture in time. What’s important is this.” Red Boy pointed to his head to indicate how clever he was. ‘I knew to peep, but all of you were too stupid.’

Monkey did not say a word as he continued pulling at the straw. It extended longer and longer until it was a meter long!

“What?!” Red Boy’s jaws dropped to the ground. As he looked at the straw in his hand and the one in Monkey’s…

Monkey chuckled. “Junior Brother, the facts have proven that pleading to Buddha is useful. Amitabha. Thank you Buddha for blessing me.”

Red Boy smacked his lips. “That’s your luck…”

“Buddha, please bless me and allow me to pick a long, long one! I’ll kowtow to you!” At that moment, Squirrel’s eyes rolled as ideas came to his head. He knelt to the ground and kowtowed towards the temple hall thrice.

Red Boy curled his lips. “How dumb… You actually believe Buddha will bless you. It’s not like you aren’t aware that the efficacy of our monastery is not because of Buddha but because of Man!”

Squirrel closed his eyes as he picked a straw before yanking it.

“A palm’s length, two palm’s length… Heavens! It’s a meter! There’s more! Two meters! Holy crap! Three meters!” Red Boy’s eyes nearly popped out.

Squirrel had yanked out a straw three meters long! Squirrel himself was dumbfounded as he reveled in joy. “Thank you, Buddha. I will definitely offer you incense every day and night. I will clean the area around you spick and span. Haha!”

Red Boy’s face turned red. A slap from Monkey, a slap from Squirrel. It hurt!

Red Boy looked sadly at Lone Wolf. “Senior Brother, it’s your turn.”

“I’ve finished drawing.”

“Eh? When did you do it?” Red Boy asked.

“When Junior Brother was drawing, I drew one. All of you were looking at him, but no one looked at me.”

“How long is yours?”

Lone Wolf suddenly grinned.

Red Boy had an ominous feeling and in the end…

Lone Wolf opened his mouth and spat out a straw. “It’s not long, shorter than Jingkuan’s, but it’s still longer than yours!”

“Pfft!”

Red Boy nearly vomited blood as his face blushed. He wished that he could give his mouth two slaps. The face-slapping hurt! However even worse was the cruel reality of him having to go out!

“Alright, my dear disciple. Let’s go. Let me show you the world.” Fangzheng chuckled. When Red Boy heard his voice, he trembled in fear…

However words were pointless. He was dragged by Fangzheng towards the Formless Door!

Fangzheng whispered, “Silly. The Formless Door’s mission is to save those in trouble. It’s unlikely you will suffer from the lovey-doveyness of others. However it’s hard to tell what will happen if you stay on the mountain…”

Red Boy was taken aback as he carefully thought about it. That seemed true! Following that, he said in delight, “So that’s how it is! Haha!”

At the instant they walked into the Formless Door, they heard someone shout faintly, “Is having long hair that important?”

Long hair?

“What does that mean?” Fangzheng and Red Boy found themselves standing on the streets. They looked at each other and were completely confounded!