The Monk That Wanted To Renounce Asceticism

Miao Long shouted for his four brothers as he walked with an air full of mettle like a proud rooster. Flaunting his prowess, he came to the village entrance and went straight for Fangzheng. “Aiyah, darn monk. You haven’t left?! It looks like today’s the day for your skin to separate from its flesh! Also those old fools. Weren’t they rather arrogant just now… huh?! Don’t even think of running. I’m telling you. A monk may run but his temple can’t! I’ll teach all of you a lesson today!”

Fangzheng sneered. He stood up and came to the village entrance and pressed his palms together, “Amitabha. Patron, you are filled with bloodlust and have great amounts of negative karma. If you do not act with kindness, you might suffer the tribulations.”

“F**k yourself. Don’t tell me such useless shit! Compensate me for beating my brother. Ten thousand! I’ll break your arm for every cent that’s missing!” he added, “Brother Beard, it’s this punk that messed up our plans!”

Beard was standing behind him. Miao Long and company were tall so he couldn’t see what was happening in front. In order to serve as a foil for being the final boss, he did not walk ahead. He only waited to be summoned. Once Miao Long spoke, Beard puffed up his chest and walked out. He said loudly, “Who dares bully my brothers? Are you sick of living? Come forward and let me have a look!”

When Fangzheng heard this, he turned to look. Instantly, he was amused! He knew Beard who was someone rather familiar. Wasn’t he the bus robber that he sent scampering? In a blink of an eye, he was now the backer of someone!

Fangzheng pressed his palms together and gave a Buddhist proclamation. “Amitabha. Patron, long time no see.”

“Don’t you f**king try to build relationships here. Do you think Brother Beard will know you? What a joke!” Miao Long cursed. Now, he was confident as they had the number advantage. It would only sully his stance if he didn’t curse.

But the moment he said that, he heard wind whistling behind him!

Beard had played out countless versions of his appearance in his head. He had even wondered if he should do it just like Chow Yun Fat, with his iconic sleek comb-back and a classy jade ring. But when he looked up and saw Fangzheng, his legs went limp. He nearly knelt down! Wasn’t this the monk that twisted his knife into Fried Dough Twist, making him run in the snow for an entire day until his toes nearly froze? He even had nightmares about him!

Worst of all, Miao Long had begun cursing! This was going to give him trouble!

Therefore, without a thought, Beard raised his hand and smacked Miao Long!

Pa!

“Aiyah, who the f**k hit… Brother Beard! Why did you hit me?” Miao Long asked aggrieved as he held the back of his head.

Beard said, “Hit you? It’s good I didn’t slap you! Scram and stay there!”

Miao Long was dumbfounded. What was going on?

Before Miao Long could say a word, Beard came in front of Fangzheng and took out a cigarette. “Master, do you want a cigarette?”

Fangzheng shook his head, “This Penniless Monk does not smoke. Patron, are you together with that patron?”

Miao Long was just about to answer when Beard shook his head and said decisively, “I know him but we aren’t together. About that… What happened between the two of you?”

Jing Yan looked at Fangzheng and then Beard before coming to a conclusion. She came forward and explained the general situation.

When Beard understood the situation, he threw the cigarette in his hand and said with a deep voice, “Miao Long, get the f**k here!”

“Brother Beard, what… what?” asked Miao Long.

Pa!

Beard gave him a backhand slap!

“Brother Beard, why did you beat me?” The corner of Miao Long’s mouth was bleeding after being slapped. The other blondies turned anxious as well.

Beard shouted, “F**k you. Do you know the ethics of being a robber? You even f**king earn money from the kindheartedness of the commoners? Did a dog eat your conscience?!”

When Miao Long heard that, he was stunned. Following that, he roared in anger, “Beard, are you f**king mad? Are you now reprimanding me? Do you forget what you do? You aren’t any better either!”

“I’m indeed not a good person. It’s true I rob but I have a bottom line! I do not steal money used to save lives. I do not steal from the elderly or children! But you f*cking passed the line! You even came to scam an impoverished village! Your bottom line as a human even reached rock bottom! Nice of you!” Beard was incensed.

Miao Long rubbed the blood from the corner of his lips and said, “Fine. I now understand. The both of you are together! You have f**king betrayed me! I gave you face by addressing you as a brother. Don’t you f**king take it for granted! Brothers, f**k them all!”

As Miao Long spoke, he drew his bayonet. The other four blondies also took out their switchblades.

When Beard saw that, he was even more incensed. “We agreed not to use knives. You even brought knives?”

“F**k off. Only a retard would not use knives! You are all a bunch of retards. Either kneel down or I’ll stab all of you one by one” yelled Miao Long.

Beard was about to speak when a white figure appeared in front of Beard. He pressed his palms together, “Amitabha. Patron, it’s best you put down your knife. You are haunted by negative karma. If you do not do acts of kindness, you might suffer misfortune.”

“Monk, you sure are full of shit. If you don’t scram, I’ll stab you first!” After Miao Long said that, he brandished the knife in his hand.

He blinked as a blur grabbed his knife!

When Beard saw this, he thought to himself, “Here it comes! Here it comes again!”

Miao Long shouted, “What are you doing?”

Pa!

The knife in Miao Long’s hand shattered right there and then!

When the other blondies saw this, they roared angrily and thrust their knives forward.

Beard shouted, “You motherf**kers really do things without any regard! Master, be careful!”

Jing Yan shouted as well, “Master, be careful!”

Four knives struck Fangzheng as everyone was surprised to hear clanging sounds! Metallic clangs rang as the quartet’s knives recoiled! Fangzheng turned around and with a wave of his hand, there were four crisp sounds. All four cried out in pain as their knives were grabbed by Fangzheng!

Fangzheng turned around and revealed the four knives in his hands. Miao Long retreated in fear as he yelled, “What are you doing?! Don’t come over here! Everyone here is cultured. You are a monk. Isn’t there the saying… Repent and ye shall be saved!?”

Fangzheng pressed his palms together and, with an explosive sound, all four knives shattered!

Miao Long looked at Fangzheng as though he had seen a ghost and retreated.

Fangzheng said, “Do all of you like knives?”

Miao Long gulped as he nodded slightly, “Yes, we like them. That… That knife is just… a tool used to scare people.” He himself had become scared.

Fangzheng nodded. “Very well. I wish that all of you will still like knives in the future. If you don’t like them anymore, come to Mt. One Finger to look for This Penniless Monk.”

Miao Long was baffled. Without any weapons and with a numbers disadvantage, he knew that there was no way for him to continue pursuing the matter. He could only flee with his tail between his legs! Therefore, Miao Long immediately nodded. He called his brothers and got into the car and fled.

“Master, are you letting them off just like that?” asked Jing Yan in disgruntlement.

Fangzheng smiled, “Don’t worry. They would not come here again to cause trouble. By the way, Patron, when are you sending This Penniless Monk back to Mt. One Finger?”

Jing Yan looked suspiciously at Fangzheng. “Why did what you just said not sound convincing at all?”