Chapter 401
Chapter 401: Chapter 401
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During the whole time I was talking, Yeo Dan oppa listened to my story, sometimes placing his chin on my shoulder, sometimes patting me on the back. He only released me just once from his arms when someone came out from the end of the hallway. Once the man walked past us and disappeared around the corner, Yeo Dan oppa stretched out his arms and hugged me again. Resting in his arms that way, I confessed everything about the day, March 2nd, 2009, when the entire world had changed for the first time in my life.
It felt quite strange and new at the same time. Talking about this story was never easy to me; however, it felt so calm and okay to bring back this story while cuddling in Yeo Dan oppa’s arms as if I was chitchatting about yesterday’s dinner menu. Now I seemed to understand why doctors in foreign TV dramas made their patients lie down on a chaise lounge and proceed with the psychotherapy session.
Having finished my long confession, I raised my head and observed the look on Yeo Dan oppa’s face. He always had been, of course, trusting most of my words, but that didn’t mean that he would even believe such nonsensical things like moving into another universe.
Yeo Dan always showed a poker face, so I had no idea what he had in mind. ‘What should I do…?’ I wondered while putting pressure on my arms around him. It was too early to make a hasty conclusion, but anxious thoughts kept haunting me.
Confessing this story to Yeo Dan oppa was somehow riskier than doing the same thing to Ban Yeo Ryung and the Four Heavenly Kings. Oppa and I had been living next-doors almost since kindergarten; our parents were also close. If Yeo Dan oppa told this story to his parents just in case, they would deliver it to my parents. All the adults would trust his words, and I might have to be forcibly taken to a psychiatrist for treatment in the worst scenario.
Besides, another thing was even more driving me nuts. Honestly, I also wasn’t confident about whether or not I was really having a mental problem.
Thinking to that extent, I closed my eyes firmly. What if those things happened? Was it useless to tell him about it then? My heart pounded crazily under my ribs as if I had screwed up a critical thing. My blood running rapidly inside my body whispered, ‘You still have time to tell him that it was a joke. It isn’t late yet. If I speak that way, he would trust me.’
‘But no… no…’ I said to myself. Instead of being enticed, I strengthened my grip holding his back. I continued speaking in my thoughts, ‘Think about the promise and the mindset I had to confess this story to him…’
At that moment, Yeo Dan oppa’s voice reached my ears.
“Then…”
“Huh?” I asked and quickly lifted my head. Yeo Dan oppa was still looking at me with an illegible glance.
“Why did you decide to go out with me?” he replied.
I bit my lips again. I had no idea what he was implying in that question. Was he interrogating me or just being curious? Whatever he was seeking though, I had no place to step back.
I replied meekly, “Because I… like you so much.”
“…”
I swallowed my words that were left unspoken to him. It was, of course, true that I sincerely liked Yeo Dan oppa so much. Even myself, who had been living in this world before the dimension shifting took place, would have also had a big crush on him. However, these were the only words that I couldn’t tell him at all.
Confessing this truth to him meant that I also had to tell Yeo Ryung about this. No matter how close Yeo Ryung had been thinking about me, I had no memories about her when we were young. The person she had been knowing back then was utterly different from the person I was now. I wasn’t confident enough to deal with the aftermath. How messed up I had been while I grew apart with Yoo Chun Young and Eun Jiho for a short time?
I looked up and found Yeo Dan oppa’s black eyes trembling in the darkness. It seemed to suffocate me again.
‘What should I do? Should I really say now that it was actually a joke?’ I wondered since I didn’t want to lose Yeo Dan oppa from this thing. That was when I tried to break the ice while opening and closing my sweaty hand.
“Having a relationship with me is…” he uttered.
I listened to his words while holding my breath.
He continued, “… It’s a more difficult thing to you than I’ve thought.”
Once I heard those words, I realized that Yeo Dan oppa wasn’t getting angry at me nor did he try to interrogate me.
He spoke again, “Thanks,” then sank his head on his chest. I put my face close to his face.
“Thanks… for liking me,” he said.
“Oppa?”
He whispered, “I thought that I never made you anxious.”
I nodded at his remark. As far as I knew, Yeo Dan oppa had been very faithful to me. I even thought that not even a male main character in a TV drama could treat his girlfriend like him.
At that moment, Yeo Dan oppa cast down his eyes again. He said, “And so the reason why you looked strange these days wasn’t because of me…”
Yikes, I flinched at his words while thinking, ‘He was indeed aware of that…’ Shortly after, I replied, “It wasn’t because of you.”
Then I smiled and tried to bring out the words I had in mind. ‘Of course, it’s not because of you. If I shift my responsibility that way, I’ll be attacked by your nationwide fans.’
However, at that moment, Yeo Dan oppa abruptly raised his head. His black eyes had stiffened even more than I thought. I wasn’t able to move at that sight.
Holding my shoulders, Yeo Dan oppa uttered, “It’s because of me. Because I can forget you.”
“Uh, I mean, that is…”
That was true… it was, but Yeo Dan oppa couldn’t do anything with this incomprehensible situation. The moment I tried to open my mouth, he continued speaking again. His words then made my mouth shut.
“You were afraid of me being well without you.”
“…”
“I didn’t know that having a relationship with me could more agitate you.”
Speaking that way, Yeo Dan oppa scowled at the floor with feelings of frustration in his eyes. I just stared at him at a loss of words.
I dwelled on what he just said. ‘You were afraid of me being well without you.’ It sounded very dramatic like the lines in a soap opera; however, that seemed to be the most appropriate expression to describe my feelings at the same time.
Yeo Dan oppa’s remark hit the nail on the head. Lucas once asked me this question.
‘Then, what if someone pops out and confesses that she has a crush on him? Won’t you be jealous?’
I tilted my head in wonder for a moment then responded without a second thought at that time.
‘Hmm… I think that’s understandable. He’s like everyone’s sweetheart, you know?’
Let me correct this. To be honest, I was a little afraid.
While I was beside Yeo Dan oppa, those things didn’t scare me. He was a person who couldn’t deceive others at all. If he got to like some else, I knew that he would be straight forward to me about it.
However, what if that thing occurred while I wasn’t staying beside him? What if it was even in a situation where he couldn’t even remember me?
In the end, the question led to one thing––Was Yeo Dan oppa really serious about me, or was I staying beside him just at the right timing? If I didn’t live next-door and know him from a long time ago, would Yeo Dan oppa still have me as his girlfriend?
In fact, no one could answer this question. That was why I couldn’t guarantee that no one would be around him while I vanished away with another change happening in this world again. Ever since I began dating him, I actually had been working myself up to that sudden situation.
Thinking to that extent, I lifted my head. Yeo Dan oppa was still staring at me. I shrugged and laughed.
I uttered, “If that happens and you really live happily after without me, that isn’t your fault, oppa.”
“That won’t happen,” he denied immediately. Since he wasn’t a person used to offering lip service, his response was from the bottom of his heart. However, I didn’t say anything.
Honestly, I knew it very well that this was something beyond his will. Jooin, the most genius I had ever known in my life, would have also forgotten me if he wasn’t sending me a text back then when I was gone. Thus, I didn’t want to look forward to something impossible. I changed the subject, therefore.
“Oppa, the reason why I’ve confessed this story to you isn’t that I’m asking you to forget me not or something like that. Although you would like to try, I know that it’s impossible.”
“Then?” he tossed a question. It sounded urgent, unlike his usual character.