The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

According to the typical plot of a fantasy novel, events should have unfolded like this:

While investigating the dark disciples, the main character’s adventuring team and an opposing adventuring team were finally forced to band together, resisting against this evil. Yet, the enemy was far too powerful, and the adventurers were unable to win. At this moment of despair, a certain person arrived…

“And then it’s the fun time to activate one’s cheat and fight the boss. The most common cheats include the male lead having incredible plot armor, or some sudden elite reinforcements. More reasonable plots would be something like a certain priest using their own life force for something like a God’s Descent. It would be even better if the priest is a beautiful female priestess instead. That might even get some tears from the audience. Oh, right, and if the female lead doesn’t have enough popularity, it’s perfectly fine to have her sacrifice herself, which will both satisfy the audience as well as give a great chance to the secondary female character. It will even give the male lead a reason to explode in anger, which is so great for the plot! Although it’s cliché, it’s really practical.”

“…Indeed, those stories about legends mostly have such clichés. I’ve read many of them, and felt at the time that they were quite hot-blooded. I was especially sympathetic whenever the female lead died. I never expected that there were such tropes hidden behind the story. Hearing a great speaker is truly better than reading ten years of books. You are truly an outstanding scholar.”

The dragon lich Winlair kept nodding and praising my comments. He didn’t even consider how—if things really developed like they would in a cliché story—he himself would have been the evil boss who mysteriously got somehow killed off by the hero.

Of course, we were just talking about random stuff right now. Both of us knew perfectly well that stories were just stories, and reality was reality. In this world, there was no such thing as the weak defeating the stronger. Winning simply by giving one’s all was something that would only fool a child. The winner would definitely have something that helped him to succeed, even if it was only luck.

“Maybe you think it’s ridiculous how fast and cheat-like his progress is, and how much glory he’s receiving. But, perhaps you simply haven’t seen his own advantages and how hard he’s working in secret.”

People always tended to ignore how the powerful would always have so many accumulated failures before they reached the peak. As for the lucky brats that gained power through a one-time miracle, they would typically believe themselves to be harem protagonists favored by the world, and constantly challenge opponents too strong for them to handle. Such people would never live long in reality.

From a certain standpoint, White and the other holy knights were quite lucky. If they had met a dragon lich with a normal personality, they would all be dead already. Perhaps today would be a good lesson for them.

“Is it really alright to just toss them there on the ground?”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I never expected that the Legend-ranked holy knights of this generation would be so weak. A simple negative energy wave knocked them all unconscious in a single attack. They probably didn’t even see my face. Anyways, little girl, are you really a Gold Elf? Why does it seem that my negative energy wave even had beneficial effects for you? You’re also undead? No, I can clearly sense that you’re living.”

Harloys didn’t reply, as she still appeared to be angry that I had tried to sell her. So, I was the first to reply to Winlair’s question.

“Heh heh, that’s a long story. It’s some of my personal research accomplishments on the topic of half-undead living creatures. I believe that as a dragon lich, you know the rules.”

Any mage’s personal research results would be their most important treasure. Forcefully trying to obtain such information would be the equivalent of declaring an all-out war. Anyone who wanted to obtain information would have to offer equivalent information of their own.

Winlair nodded, and didn’t inquire any further. Although he was actually well known for being easy to deal with despite his power level, there still wouldn’t have been any equal negotiation to begin with if both parties weren’t at the same level.

Dragons were all naturally skilled at seeing through all lies and illusions. Liches also possessed mysterious soul senses. These two information channels helped Winlair to see that something appeared to be off. At the very least, he was unable to see through the gold-haired little girl and the adult man before him. And, anyone that he wasn’t able to see through automatically would be incredibly dangerous existences.

The holy knights charged forward the quickest, but they had all been defeated in an instant. And after us were the other adventurers, as well as the three-person team from the Northlands. They weren’t in as much of a hurry, so they would arrive only to see the unconscious holy knights on the ground. But since the holy knights had all been defeated in just an instant, they wouldn’t be finding out any information here at all.

After all, we had already left this location…

“I never expected that you would agree to enter my home. This is a dragon nest, after all.”

The hole in the mountain had been magically sealed up again. Winlair walked in front with an oil lamp, while we as guests followed him close after.

“My apologies. I forgot that you guys don’t have the ability to see in the dark.”

Winlair suddenly snapped his fingers, lighting up all the magical oil lamps in the corridor. It was now revealed that we were walking through a corridor with countless paintings on the wall. And, this corridor was just about to reach its end.

“Ka-shing!”

All the lamps on the walls were lighted up to reveal a gigantic hallway that was extravagantly and opulently decorated. The only insufficiency was that many stone gargoyles were currently working to repair the ceiling. It would seem that this was the location that suffered the most damage from Harloys’ explosion. And, looking at the “treasures” around us, this place was either the dragon lich’s treasury, or his bedroom.

Sculptures, paintings, and oil paintings could be seen everywhere. Everything was in the elven style. There were also plenty of the wood elves’ wooden crafts. It would seem that this dragon lich was truly a pure elf-loving otaku.

But, the most ridiculous part was…

“Hey, Winlair, are you Korean or Thai? …Cough, I mean to ask, are you using the physical appearance of an elven female? But from your voice, aren’t you a male dragon?”

“I was previously a male dragon while I was alive. However, gender is meaningless after death, and the pursuit of beauty is the only desire I had in life. Since I focused completely on elven beauty while I was alive, it was only natural that I choose the most beautiful elven form possible as my humanoid form.”

Winlair was about as tall as a normal elf, but “he” had sexy curves comparable to that of a succubus. His elf form’s silky and smooth golden hair was in the royal curly style, and his figure possessed outstanding pure beauty, and was a figure that any elf would be jealous of. His smile also appeared quite alluring.

If it hadn’t been for the fact that he couldn’t fake his low and thick soulvoice, I would have thought that he was a miniature version of the Gold Elf queen.

“My… my mom! He looks so much like my mom! This smile looks just like her from back in the day.” This somewhat familiar looking face also brought back some of Harloys’ memories. But immediately right after, Harloys became rather dissatisfied. Yet, right now, the reality was that the other party was stronger than us, so it wasn’t convenient for her to stir up any trouble.

“I’m tired.” Although she had just been interestedly looking around at the elven artwork, Harloys immediately transformed into a cat and jumped onto my shoulder. She then closed her eyes and yawned. This scene startled Katerina, who had been trembling as she followed me all this time.

She had also attempted to feed the silly cat before; of course, Harloys was completely disinterested in leftovers from the bar. Since so many unbelievable things had just happened in quick succession, Katerina didn’t even know what was going on anymore.

“Her Highness Harloys? I’ve heard of her wonderful beauty before as well. She was reputed to be the most glorious golden moon of the elven empire. My elf form was even based on a painting of her. Of course, the painting was of an imagined adult version of her.”

Alright then, so Winlair hadn’t even based his form on Harloys’ mother, but Harloys herself. The silly cat’s expression became even more complex after hearing this.

“It’s a pity that there’s one obvious giant error. Gold Elves are a bit taller than Royal Elves, and Royal Elves are a bit taller than normal elves. You need to be taller by at least 33% to have a proper Gold Elf’s figure.”

Before I even finished talking, this dragon lich of a mysterious gender whipped out a notebook and started taking notes while gazing at me with a passionate look, as if expecting me to go on.

A while later, Winlair seemed to have calmed down and become embarrassed as he awkwardly coughed.

“Cough, it’s such a pity. I truly regret that I wasn’t alive ten thousand years ago during the elves’ generation. I would be willing to use all of my life’s treasures to have been able to witness Her Highness Harloys’ appearance back then.”

But right after that, Winlair turned to look at the only mortal present among us.

“I don’t know what relationship this lady has with the two of you? The aura of death in my home is too strong, so it’s unsuitable for normal people… I apologize for being such a poor host.”

However, he stopped right there with his words as he realized that his nest hadn’t had any real air for centuries, so that the aura of death was thick enough to directly kill any living person. Since Katerina had been fine even until now, this was already the best explanation that she, too, was no ordinary person.

“Is she a dragon’s descendant? Demon’s descendant? God’s descendant?”

However, I denied all of Winlair’s guesses. Actually, Katerina was quite well hidden. I would never have guessed the truth if it wasn’t for the fact that I had seen Astrya’s “game walkthrough.”

“Indeed, she’s not pure human, but that’s not important right now.” I paused for a moment, and turned to look towards Katerina. Although she seemed to have an expression of being startled by everything so far, she didn’t have any expression of disbelief. It would seem that she had long since known that she wasn’t pure human, and that she was afraid of others knowing the truth.

“Karo, you? You knew…?”

I lowered my head and smiled at her somewhat panicky expression. I then patted her twice on the head.

“I told you before that I’m an epic hero. Why is it that nobody ever believes me when I’m telling the truth? Relax, I’m on your side.” Right after that, I spoke to Winlair again. “Actually, what she is isn’t important at all. What important is her father, Old Barton. Now he’s truly someone.”

That was right, I had stayed behind at this bar using the alias of Karo for half a year for the sake of Katerina’s adopted father Old Barton rather than Katerina herself. According to the game walkthrough, Old Barton was actually a super warrior who should have entered the battlefield again ten years in the future. Old Barton was actually the strongest dragon knight general from the epics who ended up dying of old age because he achieved his peak too late in life. Otherwise, his power level could have been ranked in the top ten of this Holy War based on potential alone.

Thanks to my half-plus year of teaching him, Old Barton’s true power level had already far surpassed his achievements in the game’s history. This unpolished gem was now looking far more like a valuable gem. I was quite confident about the ugly old baldie’s future.

And, I also came here to find Winlair intentionally in order to ask some questions that only he would have the answers to.

“I was originally quite curious as Old Barton seemed like nothing more than a local idle mercenary. Just how did he obtain the prideful dragons’ recognition and become a dragon knight general? Just where did he obtain his dragon bloodline from? Not only that, he possessed one of the rarest dragon bloodlines, that of the Cyan Dragon, a branch offshoot of Green Dragons. But now, things appear quite clear. Old Barton, whose real name is Barton Anton, is the descendant of the spear hero, and your descendant as well?”

My question caused Winlair to be surprised for a moment. Right after that, he had an expression of joy. “She really had my child? She really loved me after all!”

My overly abundant imagination caused me to understand everything instantly, giving me a great blow to my worldview. Since Barton was the descendant of the three local heroes, then the “she” that this pervert dragon was referring to was naturally one of the three heroes as well. In that case, the so-called local legend about the three heroes defeating and slaying the evil dragon must have been quite far from the truth.

“Something like a demon king and a hero falling in love doesn’t even count as a fresh story. A dragonslaying hero having a child of a dragon is understandable as well. Yep, yep. It’s completely understandable. There’s nothing to it.”

“I, I can’t understand! My ancestor is a hero who slew an evil dragon, not some—”

However, Katerina didn’t finish talking when Winlair suddenly hugged her. His dragon strength flung the girl into the air like she was a swing, but the next instant, she was caught into his warm and large-breasted embrace.

“Your father is my descendant, so you’re my descendant as well? How pitiful, you’re so weak and skinny. You must have had such a hard time over the years without an elder watching over you. You can call me Grandfather. I’ll take good care of you in the future…”

But the next instant, Winlair noticed that something was off with the girl in his embrace.

“Eh? You’re not a dragon descendant? You’re not even a fully living creature? Metallic bones? What type of life form is this?”

After some hesitation, as I saw how panicked Katerina seemed to be, I knew that it was time to face the truth.

“Winlair, have you ever heard of the scholars’ generation of Haletdam, and the taboo research they did regarding the divine…”