Chapter 137: When the System Learned Bundle Sales
Chapter 137: Chapter 137: When the System Learned Bundle Sales
In the end, President Cui won the battle, but he wasn’t happy about it.
That song played again: *A heart that’s been hurt is like shattered glass...*
Lin Shuang ultimately failed to make a complete comeback.
"Junior Sister, don’t be sad. You did a great job."
That senior brother of Lin Shuang’s sidled up again, speaking words of comfort, but the joy in his eyes was blatant.
He was very happy about Lin Shuang’s defeat.
"Senior Brother..."
Lin Shuang looked at her senior brother, her tone ice-cold.
In the Sect, many people found Lin Shuang difficult to get along with, but this senior brother wasn’t afraid. Even when Lin Shuang gave him the cold shoulder, he would persistently sidle up to her.
This was how he made himself seem unique.
"What’s wrong, Junior Sister?"
The senior brother replied thoughtfully, ready to receive Lin Shuang’s heartfelt gratitude.
"Please don’t talk to me, Senior Brother. I’m a germaphobe."
Lin Shuang looked at her senior brother with utmost seriousness, her longsword already halfway out of its scabbard.
As everyone knew, severe germaphobes could do some irrational things when their condition flared up. The killing intent radiating from Lin Shuang was practically tangible.
The senior brother, who was all talk and nothing else, paled and flushed in turns.
"Lin Shuang, who the hell do you think you are? If it weren’t for me, do you think you could have even participated in the Grand Tournament?"
"Acting all high and mighty day in and day out. I think you’re just a rot—"
Before the last word could even leave his mouth, something smashed into it.
Lu Wu looked at the Spirit Fruit that had fallen to the ground, feeling it was quite a waste.
’Wasting a fragrant Spirit Fruit on someone with a foul mouth. What a losing business deal.’
"You bitch, you dare hit me?"
The senior brother was furious.
Seeing that the one who’d attacked him was also a woman, he immediately started spewing curses.
But Lu Wu wasn’t Lin Shuang.
Just as Lu Wu was rolling up her sleeves, preparing for a 300-round verbal smackdown with him, something else fell from the sky.
THUD!
A crisp sound rang out from his head.
A fist-sized rock had made intimate contact with the senior brother’s forehead.
A welt visibly swelled up on the spot.
"Who’s the one who—"
SPLAT!
A rotten egg smashed against the senior brother’s mouth. The shell cracked against his teeth, and the stinking liquid inside oozed out. Because the senior brother was still talking, the foul fluid dribbled into his oral cavity.
"BLECH."
The senior brother threw up.
Immediately after, more things rained down from the sky, one after another. The senior brother bent over and was completely unable to straighten back up.
He was pinned to the ground by the heavy burdens of life.
This wave of heaven-sent justice was perfectly coordinated, and among those who had acted were many faces familiar to Lu Wu.
’Her patrons really were warm-hearted.’
"Oh my, how did this person fall over? Does anyone know what happened?"
A young lady stood next to the senior brother, kicked him lightly in the crotch, and asked the people around with a beaming smile.
"Nope. I think he fell on his own."
"How can someone fall on such a flat road? He must be an idiot."
One after another, they chimed in, telling bald-faced lies.
In short, we’re all innocent here. There’s a victim, but no suspects.
The senior brother, pinned under all the trash and unable to get up, listened to their words and couldn’t stop himself from spitting out a mouthful of old blood.
"Get out of the way! Who knows if this guy has some kind of filthy disease?"
"Let’s go, let’s go!"
The patrons dispersed, leaving only the senior brother, who was choking on his own blood, struggling desperately.
As for his calls for help, they must have had a bad connection and failed to be received.
Watching this deeply satisfying scene, Lin Shuang visibly relaxed. From across the crowd, she cupped her fist in a salute to Lu Wu to express her gratitude.
Lu Wu gave her a wink in return.
’We’re sisters. It was nothing.’
The senior brother was dealt with by the staff as non-recyclable trash.
For the next two days, Lu Wu didn’t receive any messages from the system. She had planned to just lie flat, but her "tool people" disagreed.
They came up with a new reason every day to drag her to watch the Grand Tournament.
When Qin Zhan took second place, Lu Wu looked at Jiang Yunhe standing in the first-place spot and really wanted to say the whole thing was fixed.
’She really hadn’t misheard last night.’
Those two had been privately negotiating who would take first place.
Their negotiations were fruitless, so they decided to leave it to luck and settled it with rock-paper-scissors. Jiang Yunhe lost the match, so he got first place.
Qin Zhan, who had courageously seized second place, was very satisfied with his result.
’Old Deng said I had to at least get in the top three. Master should be happy I got second place, right?’
He turned his head and saw the Heavenly Wind Taoist blowing on his beard and glaring.
He’d been bragging to people that his disciple was a shoo-in for the championship this time, and now he was getting his face slapped.
’His face hurt.’
So after the Grand Tournament ended, Qin Zhan’s ass was the one that hurt.
When Qin Zhan came to ask Lu Wu if she had any food that could treat an aching ass, Lu Wu kindly provided a few hard-boiled eggs.
"Gently, gently, it hurts~"
"You devil, it’s all your fault I’m like this, and you don’t even know how to feel sorry for me."
That voice was so incredibly delicate and moving, and it was punctuated by Qin Zhan’s occasional muffled grunts.
Lu Wu stared at the closed door, highly suspecting that Qin Zhan and Jiang Yunhe were using her room to do something "doubly difficult."
The Prodigy Grand Tournament ended smoothly, and the rankings of the major sects were once again reshuffled.
Some of the spectators who had come specifically for the Grand Tournament were preparing to head home, and Lu Wu had the same idea.
’It’s been a long time since I’ve been back to my old home. I miss it.’
But before that, Lu Wu opened the system panel.
’Destiny is on my side. Activating the lottery draw.’
After washing herself clean and burning a stick of fine incense, Lu Wu pressed the button.
Spin, spin, spin... a large gift package exploded before Lu Wu’s eyes.
[Congratulations, Host! You have obtained the secret formula for the Delicious Krabby Patty from Crab Boss.]
’Hmm... how is this not exactly what I wished for?’
Lu Wu, who got whatever she wished for, flipped through the secret formula. Looking at the exquisite pictures, she started to drool a little.
’Crab Boss, even though you didn’t come, it’s okay. Your patty has arrived.’
After coming to Yuanhai City, Lu Wu had received many gifts.
Among them, the extravagant gifts delivered by Shan Hanzhi on behalf of City Lord Dan were a real eye-opener for Lu Wu.
Have you ever seen a pearl bigger than your head that glows with rainbow light? Have you ever seen a conch shell from which you can hear the sound of the Great Dao? Lu Wu had.
As a return gift, Lu Wu sent over numerous savory crepes.
Just as Lu Wu finished packing her luggage and was about to bid farewell to her new friends, the system popped up to show its face.
[DING-DONG! A new mission has been issued.]
[Current Mission: Sell five hundred servings of Stinky Snail Noodles and Delicious Krabby Patties within seven days.]
[Designated Location: Yuanhai Beach]
[Designated Time: 11:00 AM - 3:00 PM]
’Eleven in the morning to three in the afternoon. The time is fine.’ The real problem was the reminder the system gave.
[Dear Host, only customers who purchase both the Snail Noodles and a Delicious Krabby Patty at the same time will count toward the mission progress. Oh~]
’Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!’
’When did you, a system, learn how to do bundle sales?’
’And you’re tying it to my personal reward!’
The system had become stingy. This was a heavy blow to Lu Wu.
’I protest!’
’A new system! I want a new system!’
[This system is dedicated to serving the Host. Please do not slander the system.]
This time, the system no longer remained silent and bravely fought back.
Lu Wu thought back to her previous wishes—she’d wanted to eat a Krabby Patty, and she’d wanted to stay in Yuanhai City to watch the excitement.
Hmm...
’It seems like... they all came true.’
"And you still say you’re not a wish-granting system! System, my dear System, I love you!"
Lu Wu’s face broke into a wide grin, and she generously forgave the system.
[...]
’Lu "Two-Face".’
’New host! This system wants a new host!’