Chapter 208: Sighs from Two Places
Chapter 208: Chapter 208: Sighs from Two Places
Lu Xiu lowered his head, his gaze meeting her misty eyes. He murmured softly, "It’s a very familiar scent."
Liang Wan smiled, caressing his face. "It’s the fragrance ointment made from that ’Green Peony’."
Lu Xiu was slightly taken aback. "Isn’t that your favorite flower?"
Liang Wan lowered her gaze and nodded. "But do you know why I love it?"
The light in Lu Xiu’s eyes dimmed, and he fell silent.
Liang Wan sighed softly. "It’s clearly a chrysanthemum, yet it was crowned with the name of a peony. It’s heartbreaking to hear. Are they admiring a chrysanthemum with their eyes but remembering a peony in their hearts? Tell me, is that love, or is it mockery?"
Lu Xiu frowned, looking at the woman in his arms. "Perhaps it doesn’t care. Love lies in the heart, not in the form."
Liang Wan looked up at him and smiled faintly. "You’re right. I made its flowers into a fragrance ointment not because I don’t love it, but so it could stay with me in a different way."
Lu Xiu’s eyes narrowed slightly. "Alright."
He lifted her with one hand, pulling her back into his arms.
Liang Wan was limp and pliant, nestling obediently against his shoulder as her fingers threaded through his hair...
The world was quiet in the dead of night.
Liang Wan was utterly exhausted, unable to stir any more waves. She simply lay there quietly with her eyes closed.
’He must have misunderstood what I meant.’
’Oh, well.’
After cleaning her, Lu Xiu pulled some clothes around her and sat up, holding her in his arms.
He glanced at her. "A pity about all that food."
Liang Wan leaned against him limply, turning her head to offer a weary smile. "Are you hungry?"
"Not really."
Lu Xiu only gave a faint reply. He had gone three days without food before, but she was different.
"I was worried *you* were hungry."
Liang Wan wrapped her arms around his narrow waist and looked up with a grin. "Your beauty is a feast in itself."
Lu Xiu let out a short, breathy laugh and nipped at her lips. "I never knew you were so..."
He didn’t finish the thought, an imperceptible shyness in his eyes.
Liang Wan stared at him, then broke into laughter. ’A man as cold as ice looks so incredibly handsome when he gets shy.’
’It was just like the first time I went to the Master’s Mansion. When the Grandmaster teased him in front of me, he had the same flustered look...’
Lu Xiu, embarrassed by her staring, put on a stern face. "You’ve gone mad."
Liang Wan lowered her gaze and nodded. "Were you going to say that I know a lot of... tricks?"
Lu Xiu’s expression tightened. "Don’t say such things."
Liang Wan took his hand and gave an indifferent smile. "During those years in the Liang Mansion, they taught me many things. At first, I refused to learn. The people in the teaching room couldn’t do anything with me—they couldn’t beat me or curse me. So Liang Cheng cut off my food and water. But I didn’t care. If I wasn’t going to eat, so be it. Starving to death would have been a relief."
Lu Xiu’s eyes narrowed, but he said nothing.
A bitter taste filled Liang Wan’s mouth. "Unfortunately, I didn’t starve to death. I only fainted from hunger. When I woke up, they had already tied me down. And then... in the water they fed me, they mixed... that kind of drug—"
Lu Xiu cut her off softly, "Don’t say any more."
Leaning against his chest, Liang Wan forced a smile. "There’s nothing that can’t be said. I was a plaything that Liang Cheng spent a fortune to meticulously train for the amusement of scholarly families and powerful nobles. How could I not be well-versed in the arts of the bedchamber? It’s just that I despise it all from the bottom of my heart, so naturally, I was unwilling—"
"But that is only one part of what I was taught. I’m telling you this frankly because you’re different from them, and I’ve never intentionally used those skills on you."
A sharp pain twisted in Lu Xiu’s heart, and he held her tighter. "I know."
Liang Wan took a breath and gave a faint smile. "I’ve never told anyone about these shameful experiences. Not even Feng Qingyue knows. But whether I speak of them or not, they still happened. And since they happened, how could I possibly move on so easily...?"
Lu Xiu stroked her hair. "If only I had... earlier—"
Liang Wan pushed him away slightly and let out a humorless laugh. "What does it have to do with you? You had your own hands full back then."
She never waited for others to save her.
Liang Wan paused, looking at him intently. ’A pearl is still a pearl. Even if it’s covered in dust, you can’t deny its beauty and value.’
’The world only sees his dazzling side, but they don’t understand that before a pearl becomes a pearl, it’s just a tiny grain of sand. It must endure a long, dark period of being ground down before it can see the light of day and shine with its own captivating brilliance.’
Liang Wan raised a hand to his face, lightly tracing the lines of his brows and eyes. ’Perhaps the Duke was right. I really am a walking disaster.’
’And here we are. Even Master Lu, who held all the power in Daqi in my past life, is about to fall because of me.’
The corners of Liang Wan’s lips turned up in a self-mocking smile.
Lu Xiu took her hand and pressed it to his cheek.
Their eyes met, and two separate sighs escaped.
After a long moment.
Liang Wan looked into Lu Xiu’s eyes. "Eat something with me."
"Alright. I’ll have someone—" Lu Xiu said, starting to get up.
Liang Wan pulled him back down, smiling. "It’s so late, let’s not disturb them. You said it was a pity about the food. If you don’t mind, we can just make do with it."
Lu Xiu helped her sit up. "Alright. I can help."
Liang Wan hesitated for a moment before nodding.
Liang Wan let out a sharp HISS, sucking in a breath. Her face flushed red in an instant. She sat back down, body stiff, not daring to move.
Lu Xiu gave her a quizzical look. "What’s wrong?"
Liang Wan bit her lip, unable to say what was wrong.
’We’ve already done things that are so much more intimate—’
Yet she hesitated for a long time, completely unable to get the words out.
Seeing her stammer and struggle as if she had some unspeakable secret, Lu Xiu leaned down to look at her. "Was I not gentle enough? Did I hurt you?"
Liang Wan raised her eyes slightly and shook her head.
’He certainly wasn’t as gentle as a soft breeze and fine rain like he usually was, but he wasn’t rough enough to injure me.’
’But after being so... entangled, there’s bound to be some soreness and discomfort.’
Lu Xiu sat down beside her, taking her hand and speaking seriously. "From now on, if you feel uncomfortable anywhere, you’re not allowed to just grit your teeth and bear it."
Liang Wan stared at him, a bitter smile in her heart.
’A future? Do we even have a future? Is it even possible?’
’Even if I wanted one, he wouldn’t.’
A faint smile played on Liang Wan’s lips. "It’s nothing."
Lu Xiu’s face fell. "Nonsense."
’Liang Wan didn’t understand why he was so fixated on this.’
She raised an eyebrow, giving him a sidelong glance. "Weren’t you able to endure not touching me?"
"That was—" Lu Xiu laughed, exasperated.
Not wanting to argue with him over it, Liang Wan immediately nodded. "Alright, I’ll remember."
Lu Xiu watched her with his dark eyes for a long moment before sighing softly. "In any case, intimacy between a husband and wife isn’t just about one person’s pleasure."
"You rest. I’ll handle it."
With that, he stood up and turned away from her, looking for all the world like he was sulking.
’She didn’t know if it was about one’s own pleasure. From the moment she learned of such matters, she had only been taught how to please men.’
’That was why she was so resistant to it. Combined with her terrible past experiences, she was utterly disgusted by the act itself.’
’As for why she could be with Lu Xiu...’
’Was it because her body had grown accustomed to him? Or was it because the experience he gave her was unlike anything before, letting her know that not all intimacy was filthy, humiliating, and unbearably painful.’
’She was also beginning to understand why some people became addicted to it.’
Liang Wan sat on the couch, watching him carefully heat the food, her mind drifting.
’A Lu Xiu this warm and tender... shouldn’t exist in this world.’