(Cast: an English Clown and a French Pierrot)
Clown: Why the long face Pierrot?
Pierrot: I am not a horse.
Clown: That’s not how the joke works…
Pierrot: Did it get fired?
Clown: The human cannonball did.
Pierrot: I thought I didn’t see him around… this circus is getting smaller by the day.
Clown: Blame it on economy.
Pierrot: Is that going to be your excuse when you’re unemployed and still translating things for fun?
Pierrot: Nothing. So, let’s hear this chapter’s joke.
Clown: Oh, right. Why did the clown go to the doctor? … Cause he was feeling a little funny!
At the moment, it has been 90 days since I have reincarnated.
To be precise, 90 days, 7 hours, 34 minutes, and 52 seconds.
How can I be so sure? It’s a function of the Unique Skill『Great Sage』.
Iya~, this skill sure is convenient! 『Great Sage』 Saves The Day! Because it answers any question.
According to it, for the skill to establish itself in this body 90 days are needed. And that would be “establish” in this world’s sense.
I mean, I was sure that I had possessed that skill since the beginning, but that was true only regarding my soul.
Until now, it had been accessing and usurping the “Voice of the World”, or so it explained.
But damn I didn’t get any of that.
It seems that normally a convenient skill that answers any question doesn’t exist.
The “Voice of the World” is only audible when the world changes, a skill is acquired, or undergoes an『Evolution』.
To answer my questions, the 『Great Sage』 skill had been appropriating that particular function.
I hadn’t heard of such an existence in my world, but it seems to be pretty normal here.
In any case, things like skill acquisition and『Evolution』are not everyday occurrences. When the world had recognized significant growth – and in rare cases! – it will grant a skill. 『Evolution』, on the other hand, transcends the common sense.
Well… still am not certain whether I really got any of that, but nothing to do but to accept it.
Although 『Great Sage』 now answers any question, it is passive and lack an ego.
If I don’t talk to it, it won’t come asking questions. And that’s a shame.
However, I am just happy to have a one-way conversation with someone.
Though talking to my own skill… most would call me simply delusional, eh?
And so, since I had nothing else to do in this darkness, I kept asking questions.
As a result, I have confirmed that I am, in fact, a slime (Viscous Life-form = Non-rare life-form).
Lack of hunger and need to sleep had also been explained.
The slimes of this world could absorb magic essence, and thus have no need for physical nourishment. Where there is poor magic essence concentration, monsters and small animals serve as an alternative.
And so in this world, unexpectedly, the slimes in the regions with poor magic essence are extremely violent and strong. Wouldn’t you expect regions with abundant magic essence be homes to strong monsters instead?
In other words, in the place with a lot of magic essence like where I am now is a place where food is unnecessary.
Then, about sleep,
《Solution. Slime bodies are a composition of identical cells. Every cell serves as brain cell, nerve ending, and muscle at the same time.
Thus, as thought process is undertaken by different cell at different times, sleep is unnecessary》
And that was that.
So where are my memories stored?
Perhaps, it’s like a PC HDD with RAID setup, right?
When thinking that, I got a《Roughly so》 response.
This 『Great Sage』 guy seems pretty good at holding conversation.
And so, I got to wondering what the effects of 『Great Sage』 were…
《Solution. Unique Skill『Great Sage』 has the following effects…
Thought Acceleration: Raise the speed of thought processing by a thousand times.
Analysis and Judgment: Ability to analyze and make judgments regarding a target.
Parallel Processing: Ability to detach thoughts and analysis of phenomenon.
Chant Annulment: When using magic, there’s no need to chant.
All of Creation: Ability to comprehend all non-concealed phenomenon in this world.
These five are your abilities.》
And that was that.
But, All of Creation? Could it be that I have obtained all the knowledge in the world without lifting a finger?! Or so I thought but…
In reality, depending on the information I understand and the things I know about, additional information can be inferred.
In other words, I need to see it at least once, but for the matters that I have seen–those I understand through this power.
But, Chant Annulment… So after learning a skill, I do not need to recite anything? More importantly, there’s magic in this world!!!
The answer is [YES].
With this in mind, there is no need to memorize magic.
Tried to see if that would work with 『Great Sage』, and of course, it didn’t.
And then I got an idea.
Could I link together『Predator』’s Analysis and 『Great Sage』’s Parallel Processing?
《Solution. Linking 『Predator』’s Analysis and 『Great Sage』’s Parallel Processing is possible. Will you link the abilities? [YES]/[NO]?》
Of course, [YES]!
But well, it’s not like I have anything to analyze… wait a second!
That which has been collecting in my stomach–the grass I ate to kill time. What is it? Since I got nothing to do anyways, might as well analyze it.
And so, execute the skill at once!
《Analysis has been completed…
Hipokte Grass: Used to create ointment. Only grows in areas with abundant magic essence.
If grass’s sap is combined with magic essence, a restorative medicine can be created.
If the grass is ground up and combined with magic essence, an ointment to stop bleeding can be created.》
All that weed I have been storing to kill time…
It’s basically as if a kid playing in the sand found diamonds.
So I quickly began production of energy restoration pills and ointment. Though I say “I began” production, my body does most by itself so I don’t really feel it.
Taking only a second to analyze, and three seconds to produce… after five minutes I can make a hundred of these!
I had no finished product to compare it to, but when I judged it as a high quality.
I might be satisfied with the result.
And wasn’t analysis compiled way too quickly?
I mean, wouldn’t you expect it to take more time?
Linking Parallel Processing was definitely the correct decision.
Out of curiosity, I decided to cancel the link and try to make one. It took 50 minutes.
Processing time has become terrifyingly short…
I seem to have gotten my hands on a wonderful skill. While being unconscious, that is…
There’s plenty of weed being used up inside of me, and most of the grass around here seems to be the Hipokte kind.
Since it might be needed later, I might as well devour all the grass around here.
And at the same time, medicine is being produced.
What to say? I’m still stuck in darkness. Nothing else to do (that I can do) around here.
At this time I was completely off guard.
Though my skill was passive, I had been high on finally having a conversation partner (?).
And during these 90 days, I had never met another living thing, nor had any threat to my life.
Whatever the reason, I became negligent.
*Pochan!* (Attention: The person in question cannot hear. Please enjoy this objective sound effect)
That’s all the time I had to think as it happened.
My body had suddenly become light – or was it heavy?… a bizarre situation.
Had I… fallen in water?
During these 90 days, I have never had the experience of falling in water. That is, I was either in a cavern or inside some structure and have thus become negligent.
I seem to have fallen into some river. Since there could hardly be a river inside some building, could I possibly be in an underground lake or something like that?
Until recently, since I saw nothing at all, I had been carefully taking every step.
But while I was busy eating grass and listening to the skill’s explanations I seem to have…
Forgotten to check my footing.
I’m always like that!
Always getting high off good luck.
Even at my company.
「Leave it to me! It’s a piece of cake!」
Due to those words I’ve seen hell many times.
I could still see the resentment in the eyes of my Senpai.
And seriously, what kind of idiot runs around in total darkness?
Damn it… I want to beat the crap out of myself.
If I live, that’s what I’ll do. Or so I say, but I’ll probably regret without reflecting…
And well, I’ve got time.
Actually, I’ve got no feet to flap in the water with, so it’s not like I can even panic in this situation.
I guess that’s it.
What a short human life… no it was a slime life.
Preparing to suffer from lack of air, I have said my goodbyes.
And yet I did not feel any suffering.
Why? Did I not fall into water?
At times like this… 『Great Sage』 Saves The Day!
Let’s quickly ask a question.
《Solution. Slime bodies move with magic essence. Since oxygen is unnecessary, breathing does not occur.》
Huh… I wasn’t paying attention, but I guess I really aren’t breathing.
I see. After 90 days, I have again become a bit smarter.
That being so, I seem to have really fallen into water.
Not a situation where I will die, but still an unpleasant one.
What to do…
I don’t even know whether I am floating or sinking.
Since I don’t have hands or feet, I don’t think I can swim.
If I sink to the bottom, could I crawl my way to surface?
And if I am floating, would I flowing around like this?
Rather than flowing, it feels like I’m begin cradled. Like slowly rocked in an embrace–a rather pleasant feeling, but…
I guess I am not flowing anywhere. Rather than a river, this is probably a lake. Doesn’t feel like I am getting carried somewhere, after all.
Floating, sinking, with no indication of ever reaching the bottom.
This could last forever, for all I know.
This is an rather bad situation.
What to do…
My brain cells = slime body had devised a terrifying plan!
What would happen if I predate a lot of water and then expel it like a water jet to move?
Having thought of that, I immediately tested it. Nothing else to do, after all!
But that this decision would lead to a fateful encounter, that I could not have known…
I am glad I had this idea. To say the least, had I went in a different direction, this meeting would never had happened.
But, as if led by fate, I went into this direction.
And so, predating enough water to fill about 10% of my stomach (※The person in question is unaware, but water levels drastically decreased).
And in one breath, I released it.
I completely lost my sense of place.
《Skill『Hydraulic Propulsion』has been acquired.》
I suddenly heard a voice in my head.
That’s the first time I consciously hear it. That is the “Voice of the World”.
Since 『Great Sage』 never starts a conversation I can’t be mistaken, but otherwise it’s exactly the same.
But, I don’t even have an ounce of time to verify that hypothesis!
With a *Zugun!* a feeling of acceleration envelopes my body… is this what if feels like to fly through the air? (At this point, in the direction I thought I wanted to move in)… I was shot out there.
Hate to admit it, but maybe it’s a good thing I can’t see.
Even in this complete darkness, the sheer speed at which I a feel I am moving is terrifying.
No, if I could see I’d still feel at least half as afraid… but not seeing is scary in its own way.
If you had ridden on a roller coaster in a dimly lit amusement park, you could sympathize with what I am feeling… maybe.
In my life? The one time I had gone to a rat infested amusement park is all the experience I have.
And besides, in this case there is no such thing as safety belts.
I really should kick myself for coming up with this water jet propulsion idea.
Act then think? Idiot! Checking safety is the first step!
Can’t even focus my thoughts out of fear.
Would this flight continue forever? And seriously, how much momentum did I even throw out? When I thought that,
*Don! Boyon!!! Gororom zudon!!!*
And then intense pain… there was none.
Hmm? Did I not receive any damage… or maybe, even if I received damage, do I not feel any pain?
《Solution. Due to having acquired Pain Nullification, you do not feel any pain. Due to the Physical Attack Resistance damage has been reduced. Currently, the damaged area is only 10%.
Monster Skill Slime Natural skill『Self Regeneration』has activated. Will you assist it with the unique skill 『Predator』? [YES]/[NO]＞＞
Though there’s no pain, there’s damage. Is that how it is… whether that’s good or not, I haven’t a clue, but if I am careful maybe I would not need pain.
Oh and, assist with 『Predator』? Don’t really get it, but for now, [YES].
At that moment, it kind of felt like my body had decreased a bit. And after a bit, it had returned back to normal.
It seems, that I had predated on the damaged parts, analyzed and repaired them type of thing.
What a useful body… now, should I see how much I could decrease it before this restoration method becomes unusable? However many percent my body decreased it seems to have no effect on my movement… Even so, so that I do not end up in an overly dangerous situation, I should probably proceed in moderation.
Yup. As you would expect, even I would become careful.
This time, even though I have restorative pills, there was no need to use them.
In any case, you’d expect 10% damage across the body to be a rather serious wound, but repairing it didn’t even take 10 minutes.
This time, if I took damage (of course if I didn’t I’d be very happy…) I’ll use the medicine.
And so… where would this be?
Having confirmed that my body had returned to normal, I proceeded to check my surroundings.
Maybe there are dangerous monsters lurking around here.
Though I exited the water, it wouldn’t be strange to find some amphibious monsters.
I carefully started moving.
Lately, it feels like when I’m careful I fall into some rather dangerous situations, but maybe that’s just my imagination.
Thinking that was probably a mistake.
(Can you hear me? Little one)
So I heard something.
Name: Mikami Satoru
Abilities:Unique Skill『Great Sage』
Slime Natural Skill『Dissolve, Absorption, Self Regeneration』
Resistances:Thermal Fluctuation Resistance EX
Physical Attack Resistance
Pain Perception Nullification
 The term used here is Aizuchi, which refers to interjecting into a monologue with a short phrase to indicate understanding.