Chapter 81 - Anticipation
"Gavriel… please don't go." She pleaded, hugging her arms around his middle even tighter. "Let me help you."
"No!" he finally spoke with the same difficulty he exhibited a while ago. He shook his head violently in a bid to further get his point across. "Let go. Leave!"
"No! There is no way I am going off alone. I will only leave if you're with me!" Evie replied, her tone filled with fierce determination and firmness. Her fingers curled stubbornly into the bunched-up garments in her fists.
Another low and agonizing groan echoed throughout the dungeon as he unsuccessfully tried to pull off her hands that were in a death grip around his waist. He sounded like he was being tortured and Evie immediately thought that it was because of the pain he was trying to bear and the torture of fighting against himself that was causing it.
"Leave now. Please, Evie…" his voice had further weakened and becoming more desperate, begging. "Before I end up… killing you." She could hear the tremble in his voice and realised that the fear he had on accidentally killing her was perhaps the cause of his pain.
"No. You won't –"
He managed to escape her grasp and continued moving away from her and heading towards the darkness where she could not see him.
Evie grabbed the lamp and came after him until she had him cornered at the far end of the wall.
She stared at him long and hard, before shaking her head slowly as her eyes were shining with unshed tears. "You would never harm me, Gavriel. Much less kill me." In her voice, he heard and realised the absolute trust she held in him. And his heart shuddered in rapture.
"I would, Evie. If you don't leave now, I would." The flames in his eyes blazed as he leaned his back against the wall looking at her approaching him. "Don't come…. Leave!" he growled. He was becoming menacing once again. Despite his weakened strength, he was trying to awaken his bloodlust to send her away. "Don't do this. Please go." He forced out a few more desperate words.
But Evie did not even budge a single step. Shaking her head, she slowly set the lamp on the ground. The corners of her eyes felt hot, and they stung. She could see he was fighting so damned hard internally, and it seemed his inner battle was so brutal to the point where his whole body started trembling.
"I told you, I won't leave. It's fine, Gavriel. I know you will never harm me." She said with soft intensity. "I know you can control yourself, like what you are doing right now."
Gavriel felt that he was going to be driven insane and wanted to leap away somewhere – anywhere – and destroy something, be it stone or iron, anything, just so he could distract himself from launching himself at her and killing her. Her words came at him like wrecking ball, shattering the last wall of defence left in him. How could she say that? How could she have such unwavering faith in him? She knew nothing. She did not know what kind of cold-blooded monster was raging within him right now. And she did not know how strong this monster was. How many times had he tried previously to tame this monster or attempted to overpower him? He had never won, not once. And it was going to happen again this time. The monster would never listen to him, he never did. The outcome would be the same – one that he wanted to avoid at all costs.
"Stop! Go away! You don't know… I'm going to kill you!"
His mind was foggy, as though there were swirling mists clogging his thinking. He could not believe she returned. Why the hell did she come back after what she had seen?
The monster inside him was so strong that no matter how much he tried to force it back into its cage, it would never back an inch and would even threaten to break free from the existing boundaries it was in. And take full control of him – this was his greatest fear.
All that could reach him was her voice, her angelic voice that kept calling out his name. It was like a siren call. He did not know how it happened but every time she calls out his name, he would somehow be able to push the monster back a little within him. But he knew it would not last long. He could still sense it hovering like an impatient spectre, ready to claim full control over him again. He somehow managed to make it retreat a little whenever Evie speaks… but he knew it was still waiting and bidding its time, preparing to launch and take over the reins the moment he sees any opening to break free.
And when that happens, he would take Evie and once his fangs sink into her tender skin and tasted her, he would not be able to stop until she drops to his feet… dead.
He growled again. He must send her away! He must! Before his monster takes over him again. But his body felt heavy and stone-like, as though it belonged to someone else. He knew he could not flee from her. All he could do was make her leave.
"Don't come closer." He was baring his teeth and growling menacingly, trying to scare her off. But still she continued moving closer. Why? Was she not scared? She had clearly seen everything. That monster he was hiding in him that he could not control. So why… why did she keep coming closer? She should be running in the opposite direction. Was she not utterly terrified of him before? Logically, she would be more terrified now that she had seen the worst of him. That he was not just a simple bloodsucking vampire but also had a monster residing within him.
He saw her gathered her beautiful shiny hair to one side and revealed her bare, translucent neck to him. She was wearing a white gown. Her fair skin and that silvery hair coupled with her dress made her look like some pristine angel luring him to his doom, to commit the sin he would never ever accept afterwards.
The monster inside him smiled in anticipation, licking his lips in eager anticipation. Becoming even stronger now, telling him to stop resisting and just accept this divine offering that came to him on a silver platter.
The sight of her bare, vulnerable neck caused a sharp searing pain that lanced through his entire being. His throat suddenly felt parched and burned with thirst. This angel had knowingly lit the fire and now he was in hell.