So You’re Such A Doctor Song

her legs turned to jelly. downstairs, she scrolled through her phone for a very long time before she found the number of her cousin, ruan nan, and dialed over.“sister yang…” the voice that came through was familiar yet foreign.

ruan yang was glad that she could at least still get through to her cousin and he didn’t hang up on her. it seemed like they had been keeping in contact. “nannan, i’m back in our hometown. where are you?”

“i’m in hong kong, of course,” ruan nan said with shock. “you’re back in our hometown?”

ruan yang rubbed her head. in her memory, ruan yang was still in middle school. “it’s like this. ruan nan, i’ve gotten into a car accident recently and i only remember things from before i was 18 years old. i’ve completely forgotten everything after that.”

“oh my gosh. that’s like some cliche drama plot.” ruan nan took in a deep breath of cold air. “i called you a while back and you said you were in northern europe. i told you about your dad being hospitalized and you even told me that you were getting ready to go back to visit your dad.”

“so i came back from northern europe to visit my dad?” ruan yang was in disbelief. that meant duoyao and the others had been lying to her, telling her that she came back to attend changqing’s child’s full month celebration. how could they lie to her about something so serious? “then how’s my dad now? what illness is it?”

“coronary heart disease, but he was discharged a couple of days ago,” ruan nan said. “then do you remember where your current house address is?”

“i don’t. send it to me.” ruan yang had mixed feelings as she let out a sigh.

a few minutes later, ruan yang received the address from ruan nan. it was a completely foreign estate.

she took a cab over. when she arrived, she realized it was a bungalow. there were a total of six floors. she stood at the door and took a deep breath before knocking.

“who’s there?” a familiar sound came from inside. ruan yang held her breath.

but very quickly, there was suddenly no sound from inside. she stood by the door for a while more before she knocked again. “mom, it’s me.”

the door opened slowly. zhang shulin opened the door. when she saw ruan yang, her eyes reddened. “you… why did you come back?”

“i came back to visit dad… and you.” ruan yang’s nose turned hot too. she really wished that nothing had happened in the last eight years. she could sense that she and zhang shulin had drifted apart. “you’ve aged.”

zhang shulin touched her hair. “i did, didn’t i? you…”

“who’s here?” ruan po’s voice sounded.

zhang shulin’s face suddenly looked flustered. ruan yang said immediately, “dad, are you feeling better? i’m here to visit you.”

ruan po walked over a little and when he saw her, his face sank instantaneously. “i don’t need you to visit me. get out of here right now.”

ruan yang had already heard from changqing that there was a conflict between her and her family so they hadn’t kept in contact for years. however, when she saw ruan po’s icy cold face right now, she still couldn’t help but feel her heart aching. “dad, i know i’ve made some mistakes in the past and have disappointed and angered you. i apologize to you. i’ve already left the entertainment industry. i don’t intend to act anymore…”

ruan po laughed coldly. “i think you only left because you were too ashamed to stay.”

ruan yang thought he was referring to the nude scene incident. her face turned ghastly pale and she felt shamefully awkward. “dad, i…”

“ruan yang, what did i teach you ever since you were young? when i told you to be a teacher, you refused to listen to me and insisted on acting. you said you would be an actress with self-respect, but did you do it?” ruan po shook his head. “in order to climb higher, you even sacrificed your reputation. even if you don’t feel ashamed, i do. and that’s that. your mom and i had thought things through. since you’re our only daughter, we were willing to forgive you, but you went on to become someone’s mistress. were you that unloved? he had a fiance, but you have to get in between them. what happened in the end? he got sick of you and got married to another woman. ruan yang, you’ve thrown away all face for us. when we go out, everyone else points fingers at us behind our backs. our relatives used to say that they envied us for having such an outstanding daughter. now, they just see us as a joke.”

zhang shulin covered her face and cried out. “ruan yang, why did you become like this? why do you always refuse to listen to me and your dad? we told you to stay away from xin ziao, but you refused to listen. do you know how disappointed we were?”

ruan yang also started tearing up.

instead of shock, it was more of a sense of despair.

she seemed to finally understand why changqing, duoyao, and the others wanted to keep her parent’s illness from her. they didn’t want her to return to guangzhou and hear the truth from her parents.

so she really was a mistress?

she had caused shame and embarrassment to her parents?

how was it possible for her to do such things?

had she lost her mind in these past eight years?

“don’t seek us out anymore. even if i die in my sickbed, i don’t want to see you anymore.” ruan po closed the door agitatedly.

ruan yang stood blankly at the shut door. the people living inside were her parents. just not long ago in her memory, her parents were still happy that she had managed to get into film and performance school.

however, it had been eight years. everything actually changed.

she didn’t knock again, not because she didn’t want to but because she didn’t have the cheek to knock on the door.

if all that a person had left in their life was bringing shame to their parents, what would be the point of it all?

she dragged her luggage behind her as she left the building, taking one step at a time, but she actually had no idea where to go.

after the entire day had passed, the sky had long turned dark. she intended to return home, apologize to her parents, and admit her mistakes. in the end, she thought about things too simply.

she had no home. her home no longer welcomed her.

she wiped her eyes harder and harder. she covered her face and bit her fingers hard so she wouldn’t end up wailing by the road.

after crying, she walked to the high school she used to attend. it was very far away. she walked for more than an hour. she walked a few rounds around the school field and watched enviously at the young men and women dating under the moonlight.

she stayed at the school until she heard the bell ring for the night revision session. she didn’t know where else to go. this town was too foreign. she wasn’t even familiar with the hotels. she took a cab and went to a bar. in the past, ruan yang cared about her reputation but it was only now that she realized how bad her reputation was. so did it matter if it got worse?

she removed her scarf and didn’t bother to even block her face. she asked the service staff for a bottle of hard liquor straight away.

“do you want to mix your hard liquor with any brand of red wine?” the service staff asked.

“it’s okay. just give it to me straight,” ruan yang said lightly.

the service staff took a few more glances at her before she brought an expensive bottle of hard liquor over. she said, “you look a lot like ruan yang.”

“ruan yang?” she smirked. “ruan yang is a sl*t, a mistress. don’t compare me with her.”

“that’s true.” the service staff initially suspected she was ruan yang, but upon hearing ruan yang say that, she dispelled the thought. “it’s a pity. such a beautiful person but she had to seduce someone else’s man. i used to like her quite a lot but i became very disappointed.”

“oh, is that so? there really isn’t much about her that deserves to be liked.” ruan yang mocked: “it seems like many people know about it.”

“who doesn’t? ruan yang’s bad reputation now is proportionate to how popular she used to be.” the service staff sighed. she poured the liquor out for ruan yang before leaving.

ruan yang watched the back of the service staff blankly for a while before she started drinking the hard liquor. she drank glass after glass.

“you’ll hurt your stomach if you drink like that.” a hand suddenly snatched the wine glass from her.

she looked up angrily and under the dim lighting of the bar, a man stood dressed in black pants and a jacket. his brows were dark and thick, and his chin was slightly sharp with impressive features.

“what are you doing here?” ruan yang threw herself onto the couch lazily. she smirked. “didn’t i make things clear with you? why did you still follow me over?”

“who followed you over? i just came here for a business trip and happened to run into you,” li shaobin said a little unnaturally as he sat in front of her and closed the bottle.

ruan yang let out a scoff. “really? then what a coincidence. enjoy yourself. i won’t keep you company.”

after saying that, she opened her wallet, pulled out a few notes, and placed them on the table before she stood up to walk away.

li shaobin was stunned. he quickly grabbed her suitcase and chased after her. “ruan yang, you didn’t take your luggage.”

“i don’t want it anymore; you can have it.” she walked onto the dimly-lit street without even turning back. it was drizzling that night and the rain fell on her, making her look frail and small.

“ruan yang, you’re going to get sick like this.” li shaobin frowned and chased over. he grabbed her arm.

“don’t follow me.” ruan yang suddenly turned back and glared at him with her reddened eyes. “i’m a mistress, a mistress whom everyone hates and despises. don’t talk to me.”

“did you…”

“enough, don’t talk to me anymore.” ruan yang interrupted him as her eyes turned watery. she took in a long, deep breath before saying hoarsely, “you guys were trying to keep it from me, right? you guys cleared all the nasty reports about me online, right? you guys didn’t want me to feel embarrassed, didn’t want me to remember the past, but no matter how well you guys tried to hide it from me, you can’t block other people’s mouths and brains. there are many people who remember it. i, ruan yang, am shameless. even my parents know that…”

towards the end, she choked and tears started falling from her eyes.

li shaobin cursed softly. it was his first time seeing ruan yang crying in front of him. it was like seeing a ghost; he was at a loss for what to do. “don’t cry, ruan yang. if you really were that kind of person, i believe the others wouldn’t have wanted to be friends with you, and changqing wouldn’t even be worried about you all the time.”