Pet King

Until they left the Faiyum Oasis, the elfins constantly looked behind them while still in the car. They were badly shaken by the encounter with the mosquitoes. Even the lunch that Zhang Zian brought had no effects in cheering them up. They were in no mood to eat.

Richard had a big bump on the spot where it had been bitten, and it had swelled to a large red spot. It was very itchy. Alas, it had no arms to scratch and would’ve been unable to reach it even if he had. It could only poke its head under its wings, but the wings themselves were soft and the feathers fluffy. They did nothing to relief the itch, and Richard ended up stumbling around the car. It tried other ways, from finding hard objects to use to scratch, hitting the roof, hitting the seat, hitting the dashboard, and even hitting Zhang Zian for a while. It could not stop.

“What the hell are you doing? Don’t block my view! I still have to drive!”

When Richard flew in front of Zhang Zian, he reached out and shoved it aside.

“Quick! Help scratch me a bit. I am itching to death!” Richard called out.

“Scratch? Just endure it, for goodness’ sake. The more you scratch, the more it’ll itch. I still have to drive as well. I can’t spare you a limb,” Zhang Zian said from experience

“How can there be other cars in this vast desert? You could even drive with your eyes closed! Quick! Itchy! Itchy!” Richard was rolling in the air like a drunkard.

It pained Old Time Tea to see this. “Do you want me to help you scratch?”

“Don’t! Your claws are too sharp! I am too young to be scratched bald by you!” Richard flatly refused.

Zhang Zian gave a look to Old Time Tea, suggesting, “Did you not hear? He is obviously not itchy enough!”

But letting it continue to toss around was a problem. Its actions had filled the space with small fluffy feathers, and the feathers in turn gave off tons of dust.

All parrots and pigeons were born with downy feathers. The dust particles they carried on their feathers were about 2.5PM in size. Long-term inhalation of these dust particles was harmful, especially in such a confined environment. Many people who raised pigeons for a long time and did not pay attention to indoor ventilation had problems with coughing. In serious cases, they might even suffer from pneumoconiosis.

Zhang Zian had no choice. He parked the car on the side of the road and said, “Stop bumping around. Let’s put some cooling balm on your head, and it won’t itch for a while.”

“Eh?” Richard was horrified. A few days ago, it had tricked a few Egyptian men to use the oil as Indian prayer oil. It hadn’t expected his actions to come back and haunt it that fast. Its actions were probably a bad move to God, and this was retribution.

“Do you want me dead? That stuff kills birds!” it cried.

“Rubbish. It is not that serious. I just applied it on myself. No problem at all.” Zhang Zian opened the bottle and used his index finger to scoop up a thick blob of yellow creamy liquid, stretching towards Richard to show it.

Richard was so affected by the strong pungent smell that it couldn’t open its eyes. It wanted to escape, but its body was held by Zhang Zian, and it could only wriggle in his hands as it struggled to break free.

“Hey! I’d rather die then… Eh?”

Zhang Zian moved the short feathers around its forehead and tried to apply the oil to the swollen bump.

The effects of the cooling oil with unknown ingredients were almost instantaneous. With just a smear, the itching was greatly reduced.

“That’s fantastic! Put some more on it!”

Moments earlier, it had been like a virgin dead-set on keeping its virginity even in death. Now, it was asking for as much of the balm as possible. The lack of a coherent position was somewhat shameful.

Perhaps Zhang Zian and the other elves had become accustomed to its shamelessness. It was not surprising to them.

Zhang ZIan picked up more ointment with his index finger and, besides the bump on its forehead, smeared the surrounding areas as well. Then he wiped his hands on a paper towel and capped the bottle.

“Hmmmmmm! Good! I am now invigorated!”

After Richard’s itching was relieved, it laid comfortably on the dashboard. “I didn’t expect this cooling balm to be so powerful!”

“It’s really amazing. If you dare to be naughty again, I will put a thick blob of this balm up your *ss!” Zhang Zian said as he re-entered the car.

Richard was shocked. “Hey! You are so mean! Ten years of friendship has got to mean something. After all, we slept on the same pillow…”

“If you make any more noise, I will do it now!” Zhang Zian threatened.

Richard softened its stance immediately and relented. “Okay, okay! I will stop talking, and I am going to close my eyes for a while. I am so tired! Remember, wake me up after 18 minutes and I will be an excellent bird once more!”

With that, it lay on the dashboard and went into a deep slumber.

“Zhang Zian, why were there so many mosquitoes earlier?” asked Old Time Tea.

Since they’d come to Egypt, they had barely encountered mosquitoes. The mosquitoes in the Faiyum Oasis had caught them off guard.

Zhang Zian speculated, “Mosquitoes like water and humid places. There are no mosquitoes deep in the desert. Mosquitoes will always gather in the oasis of the desert. Like the Faiyum Oasis, there is the largest saltwater lake in Egypt, the Garonne Lake. Although the lake is a saltwater lake, there are many fish, shrimp, and algae that have adapted to the saltwater in the lake, so mosquitoes gather in the vicinity.”

“I see.” Old Time Tea nodded. “After we enter the desert, if we encounter an oasis, we must be careful.”

Fina was too tired from earlier and didn’t care for the explanation like Old Time Tea.

“Hmph! I was merely careless earlier on and allowed these pests to bother me so much. This will not happen next time!” she said, grinding her teeth tightly.

Zhang Zian, however, did not seem to agree. The situation from earlier on showed that, regardless of one’s size or ability, a swarm of those pesky mosquitoes were very difficult to handle.

“Do you want to have cooling balm on yourself too?” he asked.

Fina squinted at him. “How can I have that stuff on me?”

“What happens if we come across more mosquitoes?” he asked again. “Speaking of which… Were there no mosquitoes in ancient Egypt? How did you deal with them?”

Fina proudly said, “Of course there were mosquitoes, but we had a way.”

“What way?” Zhang Zian was very curious. Had the ancient Egyptians had rich biological knowledge in addition to their superb knowledge of mathematics, architecture, and astronomy?

“It’s very simple. This is the method that Pepi II, from the Sixth Dynasty of Ancient Egypt, came up with. The method can be traced back to 4,200 years ago!” Fina said with confidence. “Pepi II found that by wiping honey on slaves, the mosquitoes would go to the slaves instead of him.”

That was horrible! The slave was treated as if he were not a person.

Zhang Zian was horrified by what he’d heard. He felt very sorry for those slaves who’d sacrificed their flesh to mosquitoes 4,200 years ago.

Eh? Wait a minute!

He suddenly recalled what she’d said. “You said…this will not happen next time…”

Fina nodded and pointed a claw at him. “In the next town, buy some honey and bring it with you!”