Chapter 401 - Chapter 401: I’ve Come All This Way Just To See You Again
Chapter 401: I’ve Come All This Way Just To See You Again
Translator: 549690339
“What are you doing?” MO Nianchen raised an eyebrow at her.
“Let’s drink.” Li Shengxia said. “You don’t know how to drink.”
“I can learn.”
“Li Shengxia, you can just say that you want to escape. Escape the nights when you’re alone with me.”
Li Shengxia did not expect him to be so direct. She was at a loss for words.”l…”
“Am I that scary?” he asked coldly. Do I eat people? Didn’t we spend the night together?”
“..”She stood there in a daze, not knowing how to respond.
“I’m sleepy. I’ll sleep first. If you want to drink, you can drink slowly by yourself. “Mo Nianchen turned around and lay down on the sofa with his back facing her.
Li Shengxia stared blankly at his back and could not help but recall what he had said to her at Ten Miles of Hongzhuang…
It wasn’t that he was scary, it was that she was scared…She was afraid that she would do something wrong and irreversible if she was not careful. Then, he kept regretting it…
MO Nianchen did not say anything else, nor did he turn around. It was as if he had fallen asleep.
Li Shengxia could not help but recall a lot of things from the past. Slowly, she leaned against the coffee table and fell asleep…
In the middle of the night, MO Nianchen turned around to look at her. Noticing her sleeping posture, he slowly walked over. He squatted down and looked at her.
‘Idiot, is it that difficult for you to be with me?’
‘I admit that I did it on purpose just now…l touched your lips on purpose…lt almost went out of control, but I still held it in. Because you said you wanted me to respect you, because you said you wanted an equal relationship.’
Because you said so, I tried my best to control myself.’
” You don’t know how big of a challenge it is for me every time you appear. How difficult was it for me to pretend that nothing had happened to you?’
I’ve been learning to play all kinds of roles to please you or to treat you coldly. However, the result was still that he couldn’t not pay attention to you, couldn’t not care about you, and couldn’t pretend that nothing had happened.’
‘I can’t bear to see you having physical contact with another man. Even if it’s just you slapping Superintendent Ouyang…’
‘I must be crazy…’
‘Only crazy people would do this.’
‘Even if you want to hit someone, I’d rather you hit only me…’ ‘How sick am I to become like this? I can’t remember.
‘ I only remember too many things. There were too many…l can’t get rid of your memories.
‘From when I was eight, to when I was nineteen, to when I was twenty, to when I was twenty-five, to when I was thirty..
‘I’ve never fantasized about other women. I’ve never imagined losing you…’
‘I’ve always pretended that you’re alive, that you’re still alive, even if others think you’re dead, I still think you’re still alive.’
‘I can’t let you die, because if you die, I don’t know what meaning there is for me to live on…
‘I’m so attached to you…’
‘I pity myself so much that I can only love you.’
Do you think I haven’t tried? Didn’t I try to get rid of you?
‘But…’
“How can I do that?”
‘Twenty-two years.’ Do you know how long twenty-two years is?’ ‘It’s 264 months.’
‘It’s eleven hundred and forty-four weeks.’
‘It’s eight thousand and thirty **** nights.’
“It’s so long that I can’t even convert it into an hour hand, a minute hand, and a second hand…
Like flowing water flowing through my years.’
It’s like a wheel running over my years.’
It’s like a drizzle, drenching my past.’
‘I’ve come all the way just to see you again. When I saw you, I wanted to love you again. I love you and want to have you again…’
‘I don’t know if everyone who loves someone is so greedy. Anyway, I just have to be with you…’
‘Because you’re the only one I have, I’m trying to get close to you.’ ‘What kind of attitude do I have to use to be able to possess you…Tell me.
‘I can’t beg you, chase you, pester you, pretend not to care, treat you coldly, or anger you. No matter what I do, there will always be a beam of light called ‘no no no’, which will keep me a thousand miles away.’
‘Xiaxia, you are my Ten Miles Hongzhuang, do you know that? You’re my first love, my first time, my only wife, the only woman I love deeply. You’re all my memories, you’re my ten miles of red…’
However, I can create the Ten Miles of Hongzhuang and leave behind those memories, but I can’t make you stay.’
‘You’re always hesitating, always running away, always apologizing to me.’
‘Why are you apologizing to me? You should know that no man would like his beloved woman to say these three words to him. This represents alienation, rejection, that I’m not in your heart, that it’s impossible between us…’
MO Nianchen closed his eyes slightly. He did not Imow why he had suddenly become so fragile today…
Just now in Ten Miles Hongzhuang, he almost lost his composure and confessed his longing for her.
He lowered his posture, but he did not dare to put himself in the dust. Because she said she wanted equal love.
However, he no longer knew what equality was.
He loved her, and she would love him back. This was called equality. Or was it that he loved her, and she could not love him? Was that what equality was?
He had vowed before that he could learn whatever love she wanted and what love she called.
But halfway through, he realized that it was very difficult.
She wanted to be like her, giving up halfway every time she encountered difficulties.
However, he knew that he had no chance to back down…
I can’t give up halfway…
For her, there was no pause, no hesitation, no turn, and no thought of turning back halfway.
But…
She should at least give him a little response, even if it was just a little. It would be good to let him know that she wanted him to persevere.
If he didn’t give him any hope, he was really, really afraid that he wouldn’t be able to hold on. She was afraid that he would suddenly want to follow her decision, give up on her, and forget her.
In that case, his 22 years of life would become completely blank, meaningless, and without an ending. No one would care, no one would care, no one would pay attention to an existence.
Then, it completely disappeared.
MO Nianchen reached out and gently caressed her red lips.
Her lips were very beautiful. Every time he saw them, he couldn’t help but want to kiss her.
He didn’t know why he had become so timid and weak. It was probably because he had lost her twice hysterically and didn’t dare to go through the pain a third time.
If it was the past him, he would definitely hug her without thinking and kiss her regardless of the consequences…
Did she become weaker as she grew up?