Chapter 526-3: Slapstick Side Story 3 What About the Dual Crater?
In the morning, I pick up some scrap wood and a saw and head out into the courtyard.
I’m going to be building a hut for the little smoothie that was born yesterday.
It’s a hassle to call carpenters and give orders to servants.
If it’s just a bigger dog house, it’s faster if I build it myself.
However, I wasn’t expecting it to be drizzling.
So I think to myself as I stare at a small house made of marble erected beside Pochi’s house.
While small, it’s still as spacious as a storage shed.
I don’t know if I can call a marble building a shed though.
In any case, it’s much more splendid than what I was going to build.
Sensing my presence, the small smoothie crawls out.
Although it was born not too long ago, it doesn’t need to sleep next to its mother, huh.
「I’d get crushed if she tosses and turns in her sleep.」
「I guess that’s true. Regardless, that’s a tacky pattern.」
I’ve never seen a living creature with red and pink stripes.
「I’m actually fond of it. Now then, judging by the wood in your hand, are you looking to build a hut?」
「That was my intention, but with such a fine building, it’s not needed, right?」
Rain drops trickle down the stone roof and fall on the little smoothie’s nose.
「If you don’t mind, could you make a rain cover? It’s been so long since I’ve reincarnated that I’ve forgotten what rain is.」
「I don’t see why not, considering I came all this way already. We have to be quick before you get wet. Hold the end.」
A rain cover made from blackened scrap wood looks very out of place on a marble building, but it’s for practical purposes rather than aesthetics.
「I thank you, my lord.」
「Oh, don’t worry about it.」
Within 30 minutes, a down spout was completed.
I go over to the well to clean my dirty hands and while I’m at it also wash off the morning fatigue and effects of yesterday’s alcohol from my face.
I turn back to the recently-remodelled house, my face still wet, and stick my head inside to poke the baby smoothie’s head.
It lets out a soft whine and at the same time the mother smoothie growls from Pochi’s house.
The small smoothie gives me a glance and then whines once more before returning to its mother.
I tilt my head in confusion and lightly hit my head three times.
「Whatever. It’s time to eat.」
As I make my way to the dining hall, I decide on a whim to stop by Benel’s room.
She was a trap prepared for me and was later cut by her allies when she was of no use to them.
Although she narrowly escaped with her life, she remains unconscious and continues to sleep in bed to this day.
「Even though you feel so warm.」
When I softly brush my hand along her body, there is a definite heat emitting through her skin.
Servants are stretching her arms and legs everyday so she doesn’t lose too much muscle, but she is still visibly thinner.
「She’s only been eating rice gruel after all.」
I don’t get any reaction when I poke her cheek.
「Hurry and wake up. I’ll feed you lots of tasty food.」
I poke her well-defined nose.
「Two weeks of eating, fucking, and sleeping and you’ll be plump again.」
I say as I kiss her cheek.
Then I get the feeling that she lets out a faint peevish moan.
「Are you going to wake up with a kiss!?」
I thought being woken up by the man you love was something out of fairytales, so the possibility never crossed my mind.
However Benel stays as silent as a statue.
「Not enough, huh.」
I hold down Benel’s shoulder and lean in close to her face to plant a kiss on her lips.
Her shoulder quivered just now for sure.
「In that case!」
I slip into the covers with Benel and repeatedly kiss her chest and stomach.
Did she just stir a bit?
「The last place is here.」
I lift up her slender leg and kiss her……
I’m brought back to my senses with that.
An attendant who has brought the rice gruel for breakfast raises an eyebrow.
「Benel-san is certainly master’s woman. But having sex with a bedridden unconscious woman is grossly immoral!」
「You’re right. I got too excited.」
I’m positive it wasn’t my sexual desire, Benel really responded.
Maybe it was just my imagination.
「You got so much saliva on her!」
The attendant wipes Benel’s face and body, then feeds her.
「I was told that if Benel-san continued to get thinner, her life would be in danger if she woke up!」
「That’s why I was trying to wake her with kisses.」
She scolds me by saying “don’t try to make an excuse!”
「Master’s lust is so strong that it prompted you to assault a sleeping woman? Why don’t you take that strong lust and……」
After tidying up, the attendant puts her hands on the wall.
「Pour it into me, a 26 year old woman with a boyfriend.」
I stand up and apologize to Benel in my mind.
Somehow, it looked as if she furrowed her brows at me.
「I’m feeling refreshed to start the day, but I’m late for breakfast.」
I walk towards the dining hall with a spring in my step and a lighter lower half.
Since I can hear female voices inside, they must still be eating.
「Aegir-sama isn’t coming.」
「Isn’t he with a woman? I heard her go, “ahn ahn, I’m dying”.」
It’s Nonna and Carla.
「Uuu……I overslept and failed to monitor him. I couldn’t keep him company yesterday night either.」
「Fufu, Celia-chan was so cute, sleeping with your mouth open.」
Celia and Leah are there too.
Lately, those two have been sleeping together.
There’s no point trying to eavesdrop, I’ll just open the door.
「……perfect timing, I have something to discuss with everyone.」
My hands stop moving.
Is it a plan for a group affair?
If so, I’ll have to keep them under control by fucking everyone right now.
「It’s about the sword I gave you……the Dual Crater.」
I stop moving.
「The sword Aegir-sama uses now……is different, right?」
The shock pierces my mind.
I didn’t think Nonna would notice.
I quickly run to my room and come back with the Dual Crater.
「Its ornaments, length, weight, and lustre are certainly different……it’s nothing like the original shape!」
（Don’t wake me up when it’s not time to fight.）
I ignore the pervert dragon’s sleepy remark and ask Nonna to explain more.
I wonder when she realized.
「Well, I noticed it at the moment I saw you on the frontlines, but at the time I thought you were using a different sword, since the battle was fierce. Then you brought the eerie sword back to the mansion……」
Wow, so she detected it at first glance.
Man, it’s your fault for being eerie. Change back to the previous form already.
（Don’t be unreasonable.）
「I’m pretty sure I have it in my diary. Right here.」
Celia shows something to Nonna.
「This is the day when the Dual Crater and the black sword switched places. Aegir-sama tried to hide it, but the shape is so distinct that there’s no mistaking it.」
Celia was also aware?
Change, right now.
（Nonsense. Listen well, human child. Mithril swords are rare, but you may find a few if you trace back stories of old. However, this is the one and only sword that I reside in. If times were different, this sword could have found the hands of a hero or a demon lord and created an entire era.）
「Enough talking, just get out. Here, I have a replacement for you.」
（That’s a ladle. I’m not going in that thing. Besides, if you pull me out after I’ve fused with the sword already, it will self-destruct.）
Damn this defective dragon.
「All I can think of is that it broke in battle. A sword passed down in the Elektra family……shouldn’t break so easily, but it might be possible if the battle is unusually harsh.」
Nonna becomes despondent.
Carla pokes fun at her, but Nonna’s so depressed that she doesn’t snap back.
「If it broke, Aegir-sama would come tell me. He knows the importance of that sword and wouldn’t simply toss it away.」
She’s absolutely right.
The Dual Crater is not just any sword. It is the remnants of the Elektra family that Nonna entrusted to me.
If the Dual Crater broke, I would inform Nonna and apologize with my knees on the ground.
「That’s why I’m afraid of the possibility it was stolen.」
Hm, I think you’re off the mark.
「To be precise, it was swapped. Aegir-sama is an id-――I mean, Aegir-sama is more on the brawn side so he might not have noticed if someone secretly switched the Dual Crater with another sword.」
How stupid do you think I am?
「It’s not the same shape, but Aegir-sama might miss it.」
「I can totally imagine one of the women he fucked making off with it.」
「Master is defenseless after emptying his load after all. He doesn’t even wake up if you sneakily stick your tongue in his asshole.」
Celia, Carla and Leah share the same sentiment.
So the reason my ass feels loose when I wake up lately is because of Leah, huh.
「And lastly……the worse case scenario……」
「He doesn’t need me anymore…… So he either sold the Dual Crater or discarded it……then he will divorce me soon…… if Aegir-sama abandons me……no……no……kyaaaaa!」
Carla tugs Nonna’s cheek, Celia grasps Nonna’s giant boobs, and Leah pulls Nonna’s nipples.
「Don’t say something so stupid. Aegir wouldn’t give up your humongous breasts.」
「Aegir-sama would not do something so underhanded. He would outright tell you to become a concubine.」
「Master loves Nonna-san. If he didn’t, he would have left long……I’m sorry.」
Nonna was deeply moved by their words of comfort until she fully processed what the three of them were saying, which turned her face blank.
「……are you indirectly mocking me?」
The three girls look off innocently to the side.
I take the chance to jump in.
「Aegir-sama!? Were you listening!?」
I run up to Nonna like I’m about to tackle her, wrap my arms around her and rain kisses on her face.
「Sorry. I was trying to hide it!」
I say, stripping her of her clothes and laying her face up on the table.
「This is the dining hall! Somebody might come, aaahn!」
I bury my face in her voluptuous mounds and suck on her neck.
At the same time I stroke her side with one hand and softly tease the surface of her genitals with the other hand.
I seal her mouth with a hot kiss before she can complain and exchange lots of spit with her.
「Here’s the post-meal dessert――kyaa! Pardon me!」
I pay no mind to the maid’s voice.
I grab Nonna’s waist, shift her down to the edge of the table and raise her leg.
「Everything is visible like this! Aah, can’t you at least do that in the bedroom!! People will seeee!」
「It’s harder for us who have to watch.」
I put my mouth on her tightening pussy and suck up her love juices.
My tongue parts her outer lips and invades her insides.
「General~ A report came in from that Adolph guy asking how it’s going in Alt~dowah!」
While licking Nonna’s vagina, I point to the peeking Yakov.
Celia answers by leaping after a running start and unleashing a spinning kick to the back of his head.
「I’m not going to be hit by the same move every time!」
Yakov holds his arm up and blocks the kick.
「Not good enough!」
Being blocked seemed to be within Celia’s expectations as she quickly used her opponent’s arm as a footing to alter her spin and then executed a kick with her other leg as she’s falling.
Her upward kick lands directly with a dull thud on the crotch of Yakov, who collapses silently to the floor.
Celia flexes an arm in a victory pose, but I’m too busy grabbing Nonna’s legs and standing up.
「Have mercy――! Aaahn, I’m being violated on the dining table!」
My cock sinks deep into Nonna’s body and I pause for a few seconds to allow her to get accustomed before rocking my hips.
「Aah, so thick! It’s ramming all the way to the back! It’s rubbing the best part and…… feels so good!!」
Nonna gathers her own breasts with her arms and puts them in her mouth.
She happily wraps her legs around me when she sees me get harder.
「Fufu, I know exactly what Aegir-sama wants. I’m your wife after all.」
Nonna spreads her boobs apart and jiggles them as if inviting me in.
Unable to hold back, I let out a roar and dive into her cleavage.
「I cooked up some pancak……wakyaa!!」
「Why is everyone still here~……what are you doing in the dining hall!?」
Maria’s and Miti’s screams were also nothing to worry about.
「Aahh, suck them, bite them!!」
I do as Nonna requests, sucking her pillowy balloons and nibbling the tips.
Her lovely moans increase in pitch as her hands circle around the back of my head.
My face is almost completely enveloped by her cushions and it’s becoming hard to breathe.
But I’m not going to let go. I’d say being suffocated by them would be a good way to die.
Obviously my hips don’t stop pumping.
Since I can’t do any complicated movements while being embraced, I adjust my thrusts to be deeper and slower with more deliberate motions.
Each thrust travels from the entrance, passes by her most sensitive spot, and then reaches the end.
Nonna’s gradually growing nipples inform me of her degree of pleasure.
The rhythmical creaking of the table mixes with Nonna’s moans and the sticky impact from my every thrust.
Seed starts to rise from my balls and I begin to think of cumming inside.
「Mama~ I’m thirsty~」
Nonna freezes on the verge of climax.
It came from Anastasia, one of our twin babies.
「Mama~? Papa~? What are you doing naked?」
Nonna’s vagina clenches down due to nervousness.
I can’t pull out like this, so Nonna answers Anastasia while I’m still connected.
「Mama has to do something with Papa. Go to Yrsa.」
Yrsa is the twins’ wet nurse, but there’s something strange about her words.
「Doing it nakey?」
「I-it’s something nobles also have to do. You will understand when you’re older!」
Carla endures her laughter, while Leah watches in concern.
Anastasia sensibly leaves the dining hall.
I hear Yrsa, the wet nurse, chase after her.
「Anastasia-sama, please don’t scare me. What would I do if you tripped?」
「Yrsaa~ Papa and Mama are going ‘bang bang’ in there~」
「Ba-!? Gosh, you two really……alright. Listen, during these times-」
Anastasia interrupts Yrsa.
「Yrsa and Papa were doing ‘bang bang’ the day before yesterday, right?」
It’s my turn to groan.
I hear Yrsa’s footsteps as she picks Anastasia up and dashes away furiously.
To prevent Nonna from staring at me, I intensify my actions.
「I’ll help out~」
Leah crouches behind me and slips her tongue in my anus without encountering any resistance.
「I’ll go too.」
Carla sucks my lips and Celia licks my nipple from the side.
「I’m about to cum.」
After a few hard thrusts, I pull out and first spray Nonna’s chest and belly.
Seeing my semen trickle down her boobs and into her cleavage is so sexy.
「I’m cumming too! Aah, so hot……and also smelly.」
Nonna spreads her legs apart as far as they could go immediately after I pull out and convulses, squirting briefly and then lays exhaustedly on the table.
I turn next to Leah, and splatter her face from close range.
「Wappph, what a shot! Auuu, it’s sticking to my face.」
Each time my cock pulses, a glob of my semen stains Leah’s face.
Leah wipes her eyes so she can see me, brings the seed she collected with her finger to her mouth, and chews it for a bit before swallowing.
She opens her mouth afterward to show me that she gulped everything down, then kisses my fingertip.
Carla grabs my cock before I can get any on her body and shoves it into her own pussy.
「Kuuh……if you’re going to cum, it has to be inside. I just can’t get enough of that feeling as your thick gooey semen gushes into me.」
This standing position where I’m cumming inside her as we face each other is so naughty.
When I eventually pull out, semen overflows from her hole and trickles down her thigh, and Carla lets out an entranced moan as she falls on her butt.
「Last but not least.」
I get Celia on her knees, hold her head and slowly stick my dick into her mouth.
The remaining shot is fired with great force.
Some of it deflects back out of Celia’s mouth and drips off her chin.
Celia hurriedly sucks in so as to not let anymore go to waste and slurps the soupy fluid into her stomach.
Although something felt off in my balls, I continued my discharge.
Celia’s eyebrow raised slightly.
「Fuu……that was great.」
I softly pat the heads of all four girls.
「We can enjoy the lingering sensation in the bath. The floor is rather hard here.」
My eyes glance at the door.
Gathered there were Sekrit and Yoguri who were late for breakfast, curious kids who came to watch after hearing about ‘bang bang’ from Anastasia, and Rita and her maids who were waiting to clean up.
A bright-red Nonna cuts through them and runs all the way to the bath.
「By the way Aegir-sama, about the Dual Crater.」
Oh right. I haven’t thought of an excuse.
Pervert dragon, think of something.
（You’re one to call me pervert when you had an orgy in the dining hall, but very well.）
「There have been legends long ago that describe how a sword which cuts down a thousand men gains a soul.」
「A-a thousand men……」
I unsheathe the Dual Crater and gaze at the much more sinister-looking blade.
I’m still naked though.
「Apparently this thing transformed in battle and gained life. Sometimes I can hear it talking……and only I can hear it.」
「W-what? That sounds complicated. It’s not cursed, is it? 」
I didn’t lie.
「Maybe its powers will increase if the blood of a virgin is offered.」
「Hiii, it’s cursed after all!!」
Don’t add unnecessary remarks.
I’ll spill milk and not wipe it.
（Stop that. Seriously.）
Anyways, the logic has been communicated.
Now, Nonna won’t be worried that I threw her sword away and she won’t think I’m some idiot who didn’t realize his sword was switched.
Hm, Celia has been quiet for a while.
「Eep. There were some tadpoles mixed with Aegir-sama’s semen.」
「Hey, these look exactly like the ones Celia-chan is keeping in her room. Do they multiply on their own?」
「Yes. I gave them food scraps and they increased in number, though I’m thinking it’s about time to release them in the river.」
I don’t know what she’s talking about, but it doesn’t seem related to me.
Appears in the present story:
Nonna (embarrassed), Carla (standing position), Celia (releasing tadpoles), Leah (ass development)
Mini smoothie (talking?), Benel (mild jealousy)