Chapter 116: My Sister’s Brain Isn’t Quite Right
Chapter 116: Chapter 116: My Sister’s Brain Isn’t Quite Right
"Yep, yep, yep, you’re absolutely right," Gu Xulin said, nodding earnestly.
’She’s growing up and getting self-conscious. I have to respect that.’
"Big King, this is what they call ’being a heavyweight!’ That’s why Big King seems heavy, too! It’s an honor us little people can’t experience," Zhong Mingrui said smugly. It was a new phrase he’d learned from TV!
’This time, I’m definitely more cultured than Song Yi! I’ll win more of Big King’s favor!’
’If Big King gets the feast, I’ll definitely get the first bowl of soup!’
Zhong Siqi covered his face. It was a shame he was too scared to move for fear of cracking the ice. Otherwise, he would have definitely taught his little brother a good lesson.
Song Yi was unusually quiet. He stared at the ice, not daring to move, afraid he was too heavy and would endanger everyone.
Ye Zuiyi scoffed. ’Only an idiot would believe such obvious flattery.’
Meanwhile, Ye Zexi glanced at Gu Zhao and thought her chubbiness was actually a little cute.
Realizing what he’d just thought, he frantically shook his head.
Then he shot a guilty glance at Ye Zuiyi.
Gu Zhao was oblivious to his thoughts. She had already been placated.
She also felt that she wasn’t fat at all.
’See? Everyone has sharp eyes!’
Jiang Yuchen and Jiang Yifeng looked at each other, and both could see the helplessness and despair in the other’s eyes.
’Is this really the time to be discussing whether someone’s fat or not?’
Jiang Yifeng was genuinely losing his mind. ’What is wrong with the world these days?’
’Have I been living in the middle of nowhere for so long that people in society have evolved again?’
’Evolved to a point I can no longer keep up with.’
"Shouldn’t we be figuring out how to get out of this area right now?" Jiang Yifeng tried to instill a sense of urgency about their situation.
But he found it was completely useless.
"Can we ride the creature underneath us to get out of here?!" Song Zhe suggested excitedly.
’I’ve never ridden a sea creature before!’
Gu Jiao, being a devoted Gu Zhao fangirl who had done her homework, excitedly raised her hand, trying to get Gu Zhao’s attention.
"Big King! Big King! Can we have it push the ice while we stay on it?"
[The Jiang Bros: Who am I? Where am I? What am I even doing?]
[The Jiang brothers are the source of all my joy today!]
[The viewers get the laughs, they get the mental breakdowns!]
[Did Gu Jiao, the little sidekick, just surrender to the Monkey King without even a token struggle?]
Gu Zhao shot her an appreciative look. ’Good idea!’
Song Yi immediately lifted his head and looked at Gu Jiao.
’What?! Another one trying to steal Big King’s attention!!’
Zhong Mingrui also looked at her. "I’m Big King’s number one soldier! You have to call me Big Brother! That Song Yi, he’s Second Brother!"
Gu Jiao didn’t mind at all that they were younger than her. "Big Brother! Second Brother!"
Song Yi blushed. "Uh... Th-Third... Third Sister."
His voice was tiny.
’My heart is pounding! I’m a big brother now, too!’
He secretly glanced at Gu Jiao.
’Oh well, I guess Big King can be shared.’
The sound of the ice cracking grew louder. Jiang Yuchen sighed and, as if resigning himself to his fate, began to calculate the time until the ice broke completely and they fell into the water.
Then he calculated how many bites it would take the underwater creature to eat them all.
’Would it hurt when it rips us apart? What are the odds of being swallowed whole...?’
Jiang Yifeng’s brow was tightly furrowed. He opened his mouth and finally spoke, trying to save their lives. "Why don’t we all slowly lie down or squat, and spread our arms and legs? That will distribute our weight and stop the ice from cracking faster."
Gu Xulin glanced at him, then looked down at Gu Zhao. "Can you handle this?"
Gu Zhao was lying on the ice. After pressing her ear to the surface for a few seconds, she got up. "It’s not hostile."
Gu Xulin breathed a sigh of relief. If Gu Zhao could understand it, it meant this was another sycophant fish that would be won over by her.
Reassured, he looked at the two numb-looking brothers.
"You guys can relax. My sister’s brain isn’t quite right, so she can understand animals."
Gu Zhao: ???
This made the Jiang brothers even more anxious.
’It’s over. None of these people are normal.’
[Holy crap, "Gu Zhao’s brain isn’t quite right," LMAO. Gu Zhao’s biggest anti-fan is her own brother.]
[Somebody save these two kids who are trying to get everyone to act rationally!]
[The Jiang Bros: Requesting to join the chat!!! Everyone else: So, can we ride this fish or not?]
[The brothers are going insane. Why is everyone here so weird? LOL.]
Just then, Gu Zhao suddenly stood up, grabbed Gu Xulin, and started running. "Move to the side! It’s fine if the ice cracks!"
Hearing this, everyone obediently hurried to the side.
Even the Ye Family siblings didn’t object. A bewildered Gu Zhen was pulled along by Gu Jiao.
Only Jiang Yifeng wore a look of utter despair. ’Are you people insane?! The ice is already cracking! And you’re *running* on it?!’
’Are you that eager to serve yourselves up as a free meal?!’
’What’s wrong with letting me live for two more seconds?!’
Jiang Yuchen hugged his math Olympiad problems tightly, then after a quick mental calculation, ran over, grabbed Jiang Yifeng, and ran along with the others.
Not long after they ran off, the creature from under the water smashed right through the ice.
A gigantic Unicorne Whale.
The Unicorne Whale surfaced to breathe, then dove back down.
The ice under everyone’s feet began to shatter. The ice here was quite thin and couldn’t support their combined weight.
"Jump over here, quick!" Song Zhe suddenly cried out as the ice under Song Yi’s feet split apart.
Song Yi frantically jumped to the side, but the ice was still cracking.
"It’s cracking over here too!" Gu Zhen pulled Gu Jiao aside.
"Hurry up and make them save us!" The ice under Ye Zuiyi’s feet also began to crack, and she looked at Gu Zhao with a panicked expression.
No one paid any attention to Ye Zuiyi.
Zhong Siqi’s group ignored her on purpose. Jiang Yifeng’s group was too busy to pay her any mind, but they still thought she was naive for saying it.
’What can a kid like Gu Zhao possibly do? She’s just another kid who believes anything she’s told.’
"Sweetie~ Come on, get on my back!" a Unicorne Whale surfaced from the water, stopping near the ice floe Gu Zhao was standing on.
As it emerged, a dozen more Unicorne Whales leaped out of the water.
One by one, they all started chattering and flirting with Gu Zhao.
"Sweetie~ ride on me, I’m bigger!"
"Look at you, all bundled up. The wind must be cold here, right? Want to come hide by my side? It’s nice and warm over here!"
"Get lost! You’re all wet. If you want to be warm, you’d have to be cooked first."
"Baby, I’m a little sick, can you help cure me~"
The Unicorne Whale next to it asked, puzzled, "You eat the most. Since when were you sick?"
That Unicorne Whale looked at Gu Zhao, swam a bit, and wriggled shyly. "It’s a sickness of the heart~ It needs a heart’s remedy, and only Baby can cure it."
Gu Zhao: ...
The Unicorne Whale beside it smacked it with its tail. "So cheesy! You’re almost as shameless as the Tiger Whales!"
"It’s a pod of Unicorne Whales." Jiang Yifeng breathed a sigh of relief. The good news was they weren’t going to be eaten.
Cetaceans are generally gentle and won’t attack humans without provocation.
The bad news was the ice was still cracking, and they might fall into the water and become ice sculptures.
Gu Zhao shuffled carefully toward the edge of the ice. Every step felt like she was about to fall in.
"Don’t go over there!" Jiang Yifeng shouted as a warning. "Unicorne Whales might be gentle, but they’ll attack if they feel threatened!"
"Control your sister! She’s so small, it could swallow her in one bite!" Jiang Yifeng was furious, especially when he saw that Gu Xulin was just watching Gu Zhao nervously without trying to stop her!
’I’m going to die! I’m going to die! How can participating in one variety show be this agonizing?!’
’If I’d known it would be like this, I would’ve just stayed in the wilderness and lived like a hermit!’