My Master Disconnected Yet Again

“Father Niu,” Shen Ying called as she looked inside the storage bag that Yi Qing had handed over to her. She took out more pastries from the bag and said, “Why don’t you tell me the plot of your novel while we’re waiting?”

“You want to know now?” Lonemoon rolled his eyes. He had tried to tell her several times before but she had clearly not been interested.

“Yeah, I’m free now.” Chef is having a breakthrough and I’m bored anyway. “Who is that child? Is he the boss of the enemy?”

“No.” Lonemoon frowned as he recalled something. He clenched his fists and said, “He’s the book’s… male lead.”

“Oh.” Shen Ying sat down at a stone table beside her and continued to take out different types of pastries from inside the bag. She put them in her mouth and gestured for Lonemoon to continue.

Please begin your performance!

The corners of Lonemoon’s mouth twitched as he rolled his eyes once again. He felt his insides stir with anger. Lonemoon snatched the plate of pastries from Shen Ying before he continued to tell her the plot of the novel.

The novel he had read was a typical romance novel involving divine beings and immortals. It also centred around an abusive-romantic relationship between a master and a disciple.

“Chef is gay?” Shen Ying suddenly said.

Pu…

Lonemoon spat out the pastry he had just put into his mouth.

“Gay your ass! What are you thinking? Can you clean your rotten mind?” Lonemoon glared at her. “The master in the novel was Ning Zi’an, and the disciple was his disciple. The story did not involve your chef disciple.”

“… oh.” What a disappointment.

Lonemoon poured himself a cup of water and continued.

The novel took the perspective of the female lead. The female lead was a mortal at first. She got into a fight with an immortal demon and accidentally entered the Upper World. She became a fish in a pool, and was ultimately saved by Ning Zi’an.

At that time, Ning Zi’an already became an Exalted Immortal. He was no longer the weak child they had seen. In fact, he was about to become a Young Emperor in addition to being highly respected in the immortal realm.

He brought the female lead home and discovered that she had some special powers: dirty things were always attracted to her – things like sealed up Yin Qi, suppressed demons, and dissipated heretic spirits.

The male lead was very intrigued by this. On further investigation, he found out that she was born with a Yin soul. Her Yin energy was naturally cold, thus all those dirty things were attracted to her. That also explained why she met with so many unfortunate “accidents” from a young age. That was the way she had been stumbling through life up to that point.

Ning Zi’an felt sorry for her, so he decided to accept her as his disciple.

In the novel, Ning Zi’an was described as an intellectual immortal not good with words, and fully focused on training. He was not described as one who was interested in romance. Instead, he always practised abstinence.

What Lonemoon did not understand was why an immortal who was fully focused on training and increasing his own cultivation would so easily accept the female lead as his disciple. But after what happened in Qu Shuang City, Lonemoon could hazard a guess. It is likely that Ning Zi’an thought that he and the female shared extremely similar fates – they were both burdened with a body they were born with.

The rest of the novel was typical of a romance novel. The female lead harboured a secret crush on the male lead, but could not confess her feelings because of their master-disciple relationship. The storyline could be summarised with this sort of view: No matter how much her master tortured her, she treated him as if he was her first lover.

Each time she was abused by him and got into trouble, there were always two, three, four, five, six, seven… countless males who would notice how beautiful the female lead was. They would then fall helplessly in love with her.

But the male lead remained blind!

After a bunch of misunderstandings, and after countless instances of abuse, the male lead finally saw clearly and fell in love with her. It was a typical, horrible Mary Sue ¹ novel.

The romance between the two people had nothing to do with others initially. What was frustrating was that… both protagonists had a knack for causing trouble to others. Every character around them in the novels who got too close to them would inevitably get into trouble.

The male lead said, “You are just my disciple – same as every other disciple around.”

So… the other disciples were destroyed.

The male lead said, “I have no feelings for you. Even if I do, they’re just familial.”

So… the Bao Family fell.

The male lead said, “I want to protect the immortal sect master; I have no interest in a relationship.”

So… the sect was ruined.

The male lead said, “In this life, I only want to protect the Three Realms.”

So… the gates of the demon realm were opened.

In sum, the romance between the two people could cause the destruction of the entire immortal realm.

“This is a rough summary of the plot,” Lonemoon finished. He picked up the tea pot and poured himself a cup of tea.

“Oh…” Shen Ying nodded. She studied Lonemoon, who was acting calm. Suddenly, she asked, “What happened… between the female lead and all those other males?”

Pu…

Lonemoon spat out a mouthful of tea before he could swallow it.

His expression changed. Panicking, he answered, “What… what else could happen? It’s just a matter of who likes who.”

“You’re sure?”

“Why should I lie?”

“Then why are you blushing?”

“I’m just… feeling warm!”

“Oh~”

“…” I said it’s not erotica. Keep your stupid suspicions to yourself!

“In any case, you just have to remember that these two people are pathogens – all who interact with them would find themselves in trouble. Yet, in the end, they got their happily ever after. The other people who had spend hundreds of thousands of years cultivating themselves, on the other hand, met their untimely end.” Lonemoon’s expression was strict. “It’s definitely not wise to get involved with the male lead. Invincible Sect could be destroyed because of it.”

“How about Chef?” Shen Ying asked. Lonemoon had finished the entire plot but she did not hear anything about Chef.

“He only appeared in the last pages of the novel. At that time, the gates of the demon realm were opened. The demons were invading the immortal realm. In order to save the male lead’s disciple, he forced the gates of the demon realm close.” Lonemoon furrowed his brow and continued, “That’s why I said that the most miserable character in the novel was…”

“Is it so hard to close the gates?” Shen Ying asked curiously.

“Huh?”

The corner of Lonemoon’s mouth twitched. Is that the point? Are you even listening to the plot?

“What is it made of? Is it really heavy?”

“Why do you care how heavy it is?” The point was that Yi Qing definitely cannot take the male lead as his disciple! Otherwise, given how things will play out between the male lead and the female lead, Invincible Sect would not remain standing for long!

“From what I see, Chef is pretty strong right?”

“What has this got to do with how strong he is?”

“Why did it take him so much effort to close the gates? There’s something wrong with the plot.”

“Is that a typical gate? That’s the gates of the demon realm! Do you think anyone could easily open and close them?” Lonemoon glared at her. “Demonic Qi alone is able to corrode an immortal’s body. Anyone who can close the gates must possess very special powers.”

“Is there a lot of demonic Qi on the gates?”

“Of course!”

“Is it also big and tall? Does it look extra heavy?”

“That must be the case, right?”

“Are there the words “Demonic Realm” on the gates?”

“I… suppose?”

“And there are two rings on the gates, in the mouths of two red-eyed baboons?”

“What red-eyed baboons?” This was getting ridiculous. Lonemoon rolled his eyes and asked, “Do you think this is some kind of television drama? Why are you describing it as if it were real? Have you seen it?”

“I have!” Shen Ying nodded.

What?

“…”

Holy shit!