My Fantastic Chef Wife

It was indeed cold at night. The wind was fierce and the air was freezing, but fortunately, they had dung with which to make fire, otherwise they would find it impossible to get through the night. The Liu family gathered around one fire and the Xiao family, Li Chengru and Fengsheng sat around another.

They felt warm facing the flames, but their backs were terribly cold, so each of them wrapped themselves up with a cotton quilt. Ye Xiaoxian also felt chilly. Although there was plenty of dung, she suspected that the fire could not last for a whole night.

Sitting or lying down, they huddled together for warmth on the mats. Exhausted after working all day, Ye Xiaoxian soon fell asleep. She was awakened in the middle of the night by the urgent need to pee. She felt it might be because she had drunk too much soup in the evening. When she got up, she found everyone sound asleep and even snoring, except for Li Chengru and Fengsheng who were keeping watch for thieves or beasts.

The Xiao family was responsible for being on guard before midnight and these two young men after that. As such, it was now after midnight.

Fengsheng asked her in a whisper, “Mrs. Ye, you’ve woken up?”

She nodded. After she got out of the quilt, the chilly wind compelled her even more to relieve herself.

Fengsheng kept asking, “Why don’t you sleep longer? Do you suffer from insomnia?”

She said immediately, “I need to pee.”

Fengsheng was left speechless.

Why is she so blunt? Is she really a vulgar woman just as young master said?

Fengsheng looked away at once. At the same time, Ye Xiaoxian crept softly away from the mat to avoid waking up Li Hongmei. But for the campfires, everything was gruesomely dark on this open field. She didn’t know where to go to relieve herself.

The magnificent western scenery was covered by a mysterious atmosphere at night. In fact, it looked rather terrifying to her at this moment. But the urge to pee needed to be handled right away.

Gritting her teeth, she plucked up the courage to walk into the darkness. She walked cautiously so as not to step on either the fresh animal dung or the defecations of other people. She didn’t have another pair of shoes to change into. After she walked for two meters, she heard footsteps approaching from behind. Someone was following her. She turned around only to see a tall figure.

“Who is it?” she asked alertly.

Then, she heard Li Chengru’s voice. “Don’t you want to relieve yourself? Just go ahead and do it. I won’t look.”

Ye Xiaoxian was surprised.

Has he come to protect me?

Though it seemed strange, she felt safer with his company in the darkness. After she took a few steps, she heard him saying, “Move to the right. There is, well, something dirty in front of you.”

She guessed it was a pile of shit. A man of his status wouldn’t say such a vulgar word. In any ancient cultured family, “shit”, “piss” and “fart” were taboo words.

Ye Xiaoxian moved to the right until he said again, “Just do it there.”

When she was about to unfasten her belt, she asked alertly, “Li Chengru, you’re not watching, right?”

“Of course I’m not!” he said impatiently.

Then, she took off her trousers and peed with great relief. She even felt a cold shiver of refreshment at the end. But she was embarrassed letting Li Chengru hear her. Anyway, it was better than holding onto a full bladder. She pulled up her trousers and walked back. A vague figure could be seen leading her way. Following him, she soon went back to the campsite.

Li Chengru sat straight beside the campfire as if nothing had happened. He reminded her of Xiao Baoshan who also sat or stood upright like this.

When she lay back on the mat, she roused Li Hongmei slightly. But Li Hongmei just turned over and fell asleep again. However, Ye Xiaoxian found it hard to get to sleep.

She had a look at Li Chengru, but he seemed absorbed in his night watch.

I should say “thank you” to him or give him more to eat tomorrow.

…The dung ran out at about four o’clock. Soon, the people were all awakened by the coldness and began regretting not having collected more dung in the daytime.

When the following day dawned, the chilliness faded slightly. Then, the sun began to rise.

Fengsheng was the first to notice the sunrise. He pointed to the east and exclaimed, “Look at the sun!”

Everyone turned to the east and saw the red sun rising up from the grassland horizon. Since it was at high altitude, the sun looked much bigger than the one they had seen on the hillside in Qinghe county. It gave a gorgeous show as it rose.

Ye Xiaoxian was touched. “Gorgeous!”

The others were also amazed by the beautiful scenery.

Xiao Tieshu said, “I heard from the old folks that beyond any mountain is always another. The world is so big that it contains many sceneries that we haven’t seen. Most of the time, we’re trapped in a place just like fog in a well.”

Xiao Baofeng began reciting a verse. “From boundless desert, lonely a straight smoke rises; O’er endless river, a round sun sinks.”

Ye Xiaoxian reminded, “Baofeng, this poem is about sunset, but what we’re seeing here is sunrise. Could you recite another one?”

Xiao Baofeng said, “I’ve only learned one poem about the sun.”

Old Mr. Xiao couldn’t appreciate the beauty at all. He said in a surly manner, “It’s just the sun! Come on, time for breakfast!”

Xiao Baofeng asked him, “Grandpa, do you think the sun here is the same as in our hometown?”

Old Mr. Xiao replied, “Of course not. One big and the other is small.”

Xiao Baofeng and Ye Xiaoxian couldn’t help tittering. Li Chengru also responded with a sneer.

Wong Mudan asked, “Baofeng, I also don’t know whether they are the same. You’re a Confucian apprentice and have learned a lot at school, so can you tell me the exact answer?”

The boy replied with a smile, “They’re the same.”

Chen Ju asked, “Then why does this one look bigger?”

He was stumped.

Why do they have so many questions?

Ye Xiaoxian knew why, but she didn’t want to show off. If she answered this question, there would be more questions to follow and she would be bombarded. She would rather just prepare breakfast.

…There was no dung or any other substitutes nearby. As a result, they were forced to eat a cold breakfast. Missing the warm delicacies so much, they were not interested in solid food at all.

At about nine o’clock, the gate was opened. Then, some guards walked out and began calling numbers. Those who had come two days ago entered the county one after another. At the same time, some locals were leaving the county. They were vendors selling cheeses, beef jerky, mutton jerky, steamed buns, and also ox and horse dung.

Thanks to this, the refugees didn’t need to collect dung anymore. Besides, the dung had been dried and processed so that it was odorless and easy to ignite. Squire Liu immediately took out his money to buy plenty of dung, hoping to have a longer sleep in the evening.

The Xiao family and Li Chengru bought the dung, too. They also spent money on jerky and raisins which they could eat as snacks when feeling bored. The nearby refugees all cast an envious look at them.

Squire Liu gave some beef jerky to the guards. With any luck, a little loss might bring great rewards to him. As he expected, a guard told him in the afternoon that there was another spring somewhere a little further away. The water flow was large, so he didn’t need to queue. Besides, the water was clear and he might catch some fish.

After Squire Liu brought this news back, they set off to find water and fish, and came back with several buckets full.

…On the third morning, everyone was beaming with joy because they would be able to enter the county that day. While they were waiting, another batch of refugees arrived. One of them recognized Squire Liu and greeted him respectfully.

Squire Liu was confused. “You know me?”

“Yes, of course. You’re such a famous figure in Qinghe county. Everyone knows you! But I’m just a night watchman, so it’s normal that you don’t know me.” the man said.

Squire Liu asked, “When did you escape the county?”

The watchman replied, “About 20 days ago.”

“20 days ago?” Squire Liu asked in surprise. “It took us a month to get here and it took you only 20 days?”

The watchman said, “We don’t have any elderly or children to look after. Even my youngest son has grown up. Besides, our journey has been quite smooth. We have carriages and we don’t waste time on Zhengwu county. We came directly here.”

Squire Liu asked, “Didn’t you meet any bandits?”

“No. The sixth prince has dispatched troops to suppress both enemy and bandits, so we haven’t encountered any danger.” He then added, “But it was strange that one day, I had a distant look at the general and found him to be quite familiar.”

“Familiar?” Squire Liu was surprised. But then, he burst out laughing. “You mean you know the general? Aren’t you just a watchman?”

Hearing Squire Liu’s banter, the watchman became uncertain. “There are so many people who look alike in this world. I must have got it wrong.”

Squire Liu asked with a smile, “Who does he look like then?”