Chapter 240: 117:
Chapter 240: 117:
"The best way out is always through." -Robert Frost.
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"Why are you crying?" He asked when she couldn't stop the tears from leaving her eyes.
"I… I have to go." She sobbed. "I can't stay with you. I can't stay here." She let it out. She had been trying to find the right moment or the right way to say it but there was no such thing.
He didn't seem surprised. It was almost as if he was expecting it to happen.
"You don't have to go. You know I would go through the same pain again just to be with you." He spoke calmly.
Heaven stood up and took a step back. "But I can't go through the same pain again." She cried. "I am not that strong."
"So you will just leave?" He asked.
"Yes!" She almost yelled. "I want to leave. I am tired of this." She fought back the tears, but they fought against her, forcing their way out.
There was so much buildup of anger and frustration inside of her that was pushing its way out.
"I don't want to be here. I can't find peace here, and people will never accept me as a ruler. In fact, I don't even want to be one. I just want to live a peaceful life and with grandpa I can do that. I can live freely and not have to hide that I am a demon."
Now she was just spitting lies, but who was she lying to? Zamiel certainly didn't believe her.
She continued, as if trying to convince him. "All I have done is worry and cry. That is not how I want to live. I want to be happy. In grandpa's kingdom I don't have to worry about being a royalty and doing my duties. I will be free from all of that. I will make new friends and go wherever I want and do whatever I want. That is how I want to live."
"Would living like that make you happy?" He asked.
"Yes!" She held her chin up.
"Then you shouldn't be crying while pursuing your happiness."
"I am only crying because I am tired." She said. That wasn't a complete lie.
Zamiel remained calm the whole time. She couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling. Then he stood up from his seat and walked up to her.
"What if I still tell you not to go?" He asked.
"You told me once I could decide. You told me you would let me go if I wanted to go."
He grabbed her jaw gently. "I did. But I don't think you understood what I meant. I would let you go if you found happiness somewhere else or with someone else. You are not convincing me right now."
"I will be happy with grandpa." She insisted. "I can be a ruler there without trying."
Zamiel dropped his hand. "Alright. You can leave if you want to leave." He said.
What?
Did she hear him correctly? She blinked a few times in surprise, and then stared at him.
"You will let me leave?" She asked.
He shrugged. "I can't force you to stay. If it makes you happy to leave, then I want you to be happy."
No! He was not supposed to be nice to her. If she didn't know him better she would think he was trying to make her feel guilty, but there was something else going on with him. He wouldn't just let her go. Would he ?
What was he trying to do?
"Do you mean it?" She asked.
He caressed her cheek and wiped some tears along the way. "Yes."
Heaven was confused. She thought she would have to fight him to get away, but he agreed so easily.
"You don't want me here anymore?" She blurted.
He chuckled. "You are the one leaving." He reminded.
Yes. She shook her head. What got into her? This was just so strange.
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Zamiel could see that Heaven was confused. He didn't want to confuse her, but he couldn't let her know what he was thinking. If she was confused about him letting her go, then the devil would certainly be confused. He realized running away or fighting the devil wasn't the solution.
Heaven had already endured a lot. It was visible in the way she said that she was tired. That part hadn't been a lie. She had been put under a lot of stress and it could break her. He didn't want that to happen.
If he asked her to stay, she would always feel like she had to watch her back, and if anything happened again, then she would never forgive herself. Carrying guilt was a heavy burden, and he realized how heavy that burden was once it was lifted off his shoulder after meeting his family.
He didn't want Heaven to go through the same thing. Since he failed to protect her, he should at least not burden her. So he would let her do what she wanted while he tried to find a better solution.
Heaven would have to trust him without him explaining, just like he trusted to let her go and know that she wouldn't change while staying with her grandfather.
"Are you letting me go for my own happiness?" She asked.
"Well, it can't be for my happiness."
She was trying to read him, and she didn't seem to find answers.
"How will you convince your parents?" He asked curiously.
"I won't convince them. I will just tell them that I want to leave."
From the way she spoke, Zamiel realized how tired she was. She became even thinner, paler, her eyes were darker and despite all that, she never made him feel as if she was the least tired while taking care of him. If she kept going this way, she would collapse.
Taking a step closer, he wrapped his arms around her. "Do what you want to do. I'll support you." He said.
She looked up at him. "I don't understand you." She said.
"You will, one day." He smiled.
Zamiel stayed by her side when she decided to tell her parents. Her father was silent, but Zamiel knew that inside his emotions were loud. Her mother, on the other hand, made it clear that she wasn't going to let her leave.
Despite saying that she wouldn't convince them, Heaven tried her best to explain to her mother why she wanted to leave.
While they fought, Lucian studied Zamiel, and they stared at each without talking. He was thinking of why Zamiel was allowing his mate to go to the devil? He couldn't figure him out, and he wasn't supposed to.
Would he ask? Or did he know it was pointless? He was not going to tell him anything when his thoughts were exposed to his father.
"Heaven! You are not going anywhere!" Her father finally spoke with his authoritative voice, but without breaking eye contact with Zamiel.
Heaven turned away from her mother to face him. "You can't force me to stay, father."
He stood up hastily and glared at her. "I don't need you to sacrifice yourself for everyone else."
"You told me that was the quality of a great ruler. To sacrifice your wants and needs for the greater good."
Zamiel could see that Lucian regretted saying that ever.
"You are not a ruler." He told her.
"But you are. Will you sacrifice everyone else to keep me here? Do you think I will be thankful?"
Lucian clenched his jaw, and Heaven regretted what she said. She went up to her father and took his hands in hers. "I will be alright. You know I am strong." She assured him.
"You are not supposed to be this strong. I am still your father." He said. "You stay here. I will go."