Chapter 176: 53
Chapter 176: 53
Heaven went back home smiling at Zamiel's reaction. No matter how old someone was, there was no such thing as too experienced, she realized. It was normal to be nervous, even she was nervous for him despite knowing that he would do well.
Before leaving him, he had kissed her lightly, but she was still giddy. And her fangs and claws were still out. What was this man doing to her?
She let herself fall back on her bed and kept giggling to herself. Abruptly she stopped. What was she doing? She had important things to take care of. She would see Zamiel later anyway, when he comes to have dinner with her mother.
Now she had to prepare for her fighting lesson with Roshan. It would be awkward if he knew what happened between her and his son. Not that Zarin was the type to tell his parents anything or listen to them. Every time they told him to do something or not to do something he would say, "alright, I will" or, "alright I won't" and then forget about it the next moment.
One day his mother had enough and dragged him to his lesson. "If you don't attend your lessons, don't come back home." She told him.
Zarin was closer to his mother and Gina to her father. Every time there was a fight between the parents, Roshan would say, "you spoiled your son. Look how well I raised my daughter."
Just like the way her mother spoke to her father, "you spoiled your daughter."
Your? It was never our when they did something wrong.
It was the same when one parent did something wrong, "your father knows nothing."
Heaven thought it was hilarious. Sometimes she wanted to correct them and say, "my father and your husband." Sometimes she even wanted to tease her mother and say, "it's his Majesty, the King. You could get executed."
Maybe she would someday in the future.
Only a year ago Heaven remembered a conversation Roshan had with her father. He was complaining about raising children.
"I never thought it would be this difficult." He said. "The more they grow, the harder it gets."
Her father nodded in agreement. "As a parent, it feels like whatever you do, it is not enough."
"The girl is fine, but raising a boy…" Roshan shook his head.
Her father chuckled. "Boys are rebellious. He will calm down eventually."
"When?" Roshan asked. "When I was his age, I was taking care of my father's business and bringing in more wealth than him. When you were his age, you had already joined the royal council, were a commander of the royal army and won several battles. When his uncle was his age, he was establishing a kingdom. Men his age are providing for their families."
That was the day Heaven realized she had duties and responsibilities. She couldn't just deny to get married. It was her duty as a princess.
No matter how playful Roshan was, when it came to business he was serious. "Time and money are things you need to use wisely." He would tell them. "Use your brain and your strength generously. The more you use them, the stronger they grow."
He would always give them advice from time to time, Gina would take them and Zarin would leave them.
Because of Roshan, Heaven had learned to not blame her parents and appreciate them.
"Trying to be a good parent is like trying to solve a riddle with no answer." He once told her. Heaven was young then, but she understood that being a parent was not easy. If someone like Roshan was complaining, then she could only imagine.
Heaven loved Roshan. She didn't want him to dislike her because of Zarin, so she was nervous to meet him.
She went to the backyard and found him training with Gina. She watched them for a while from a distance until they noticed her.
"Heaven!" Gina waved for her to come.
She went to them, and Gina gave her a smile as usual. Heaven wasn't worried about Gina. She had always told her to keep the relationship between them and the one with her brother separate.
"Good morning." Heaven greeted both.
"Good morning." Roshan replied, and Heaven tried to analyze his facial expression. He seemed as usual.
Gina moved out of the way so her father could train Heaven. This time Roshan threw daggers at her and Heaven caught them in the air. She looked at him questioningly.
"I think you fight very well with a sword now. It will be much more beneficial to fight with daggers when fighting demons. They are also easier to carry everywhere." He explained.
Roshan was the master of using daggers, but Heaven did at least not make a fool of herself while learning this time. After fighting with the demons on the party, her will to learn had increased. She wanted to master the daggers as well.
"You have improved a lot." Roshan said, looking impressed when the lesson ended.
"Thank you." Heaven said panting. "Thank you for taking your time every day to teach me."
She gave him back the daggers. "Keep them." He said. "You have to get used to holding them."
The daggers were very sharp and easy to hold and carry. "Thank you." She said again, and then they parted ways.
Going back to her room, Heaven expected to find Gina but found her grandmother instead. She could feel the scent of her grandmother's delicious tea.
"Did you make me tea?" She asked.
Her grandmother nodded. "Come, lets drink in the garden."
Once they sat outside, Heaven thought of asking her grandmother for help. Perhaps her grandmother could show her with magic what it feels like to be locked inside or have your family killed. She had to admit she was scared to see all of that, but she really wanted to know how much it disturbed Zamiel.
"No!" Her grandmother said, just like Zamiel.
"But grandma…"
"No but! You don't know what you are asking. You never want to go through anything like that. Even in your dreams."
Heaven frowned. It looked like her grandmother was speaking from experience.
"Heaven, Zamiel needs time to heal. The only thing and the best thing you can do for him is just to be there. "
"It doesn't feel enough." Heaven said. Something was wrong with Zamiel. He was getting worse just when she thought he was getting better.
"It is enough. Don't push him or try to make him heal faster. Just…" Her grandmother was suddenly upset.
"Grandma? What is wrong?" Heaven asked, concerned.
"Nothing. It's just difficult without your child."
Oh. Heaven had forgotten that her grandmother almost went through the same thing. She could see the pain in her eyes as she continued to speak.
"There is no pain like the pain when your child is taken from you. Knowing that you couldn't protect them…" Her voice broke, and she shook her head as if fighting back tears.
Heaven felt like crying. She had never seen her grandmother like this.
"To know that you will never hold them again, or never be able to see them grow, cry or smile. It is agonizing. To lose your child and the person you love at the same time, must be even more agonizing. I have also been locked in a coffin. Not nearly as long as he has, but the short time I was locked took many years to heal from. I still don't like dark, confined spaces. Even in your dreams, I won't let your experience such a thing."
Heaven never thought about it from her grandmother's perspective. She usually tried to imagine losing her parents to understand Zamiel. But losing a parent was not the same as losing a child. Both were painful, but losing a child seemed to be followed by guilt. That as a parent you failed to protect your child. Zamiel was dealing with a lot of emotions and no matter how hard she tried to understand, she could never truly understand. Like her grandmother said, she just had to be there for him.
"Is there a problem between you two?" Her grandmother asked.
Heaven shook her head. "I just hate to see him suffer, but he is… everything I had been looking for. I told you once that I want to find a man like father. I found him." She smiled, feeling shy. "He is coming here today. I hope mother gives him a chance."
Her grandmother sighed. "He is not one to wait for a chance. He takes it."
Heaven tilted her head curiously. Her grandmother seemed oddly fond of Zamiel.
"Grandma? It seems like you like him."
"I do. I was getting tired of you meeting all those men looking for power. I have always wanted someone strong for you, someone who puts you first, someone who makes you bloom. While you were meeting suitors, I have actually been looking for him, but I don't have too anymore. He came on his own."
Now Heaven was confused. "What do you mean him? Did you know him?"
Her grandmother put her teacup down. A smile curved her lips. It looked like she had been waiting to tell her whatever she was going to say.
"My mother had the ability to see glimpses of the future. She had predicted that your father would be a great ruler. I discovered that I have the same ability. I have been having dreams about you and possibly the man in your life."
Heaven listened curiously. "What did you see?"