Chapter 1109 - 1109 – No Love
Mortis had already expected something like this, but he still became nervous when he heard the words.
Break up with Joyce.
It sounded like the right decision, but for some reason, Mortis didn't want to.
Mortis had seen Joyce's Emotional Laws.
He knew that she could recover.
He knew that there was a good core inside of her.
He only had to find a way to make that core resurface.
"You saw her Emotional Laws," Mortis said to Gravis and Arc. "You know that there is a good core inside of her. You know that she is actually a good person. The way she acts, this isn't her."
Arc and Gravis nodded. "You're right," Gravis said. "There is a genuinely good core inside of her, but that core is suppressed under an avalanche of murky chaos."
"Yes, so we should search for a method to help her return to her true self," Mortis said.
Gravis sighed.
"Mortis," he said slowly. "It doesn't matter if she has a good core or not. Right now, she lacks the ability to have a normal relationship."
"Elaborate," Mortis said absentmindedly. He wanted to absorb Gravis' words while thinking about the information.
"You could say that Joyce has a good heart. However, she wears a mask," Arc said. "You could say that everyone has a real personality and a mask. Everyone puts up their mask when they are with others. After all, if we wear our emotions on our sleeve, we would constantly explode on everyone that says something that could annoy us."
Mortis nodded.
"Yet, that is only that, a mask. It is not our true personality," Arc continued. "Joyce's case is a bit special. Usually, people put on a mask to seem more likable and friendlier than they actually are, but in Joyce's case, she does the opposite. She tries to appear as cold and aggressive as possible."
"Another problem is the fact that Joyce has never taken off her mask in her entire life. Ever since she reached the Unity Realm, she tried to become ruthless and cold-hearted. It was definitely very difficult for her to prove to herself that she could be cruel."
"It has probably happened several times that she committed an act of cruelty simply for the fact to prove to herself that she could do it. I'm sure that, during all of these acts, Joyce felt immense pain inside of herself. Her Emotions were running rampant with guilt, self-loathing, pity, and several other kinds of empathetic emotions."
"However, if a person tries to change into someone else for long enough, they will be able to make the unfitting fit. Joyce's desired personality is incompatible with her real personality, but after hundreds of thousands of years, she managed to basically weld her mask onto her face."
"Joyce hasn't seen her true face in many, many years, and by now, she probably truly believes that the mask she sees every day is her genuine face."
Arc took a deep breath. "So, in a sense, Joyce's current personality is her real personality. The old core still exists, but it's impossible to wake it. It has been too long."
Mortis' expression had become darker and darker the more he listened to Arc.
His comparison made a lot of sense, and Mortis could see exactly what he meant.
In a way, one could say that Joyce had changed tremendously.
It was definitely not a healthy change, and this change would definitely make it very difficult for her to ever find happiness, but it had happened.
The only thing that could wake Joyce's old core was Samsara.
However, it was impossible for Joyce to survive Samsara.
Gravis saw how Mortis still thought about the topic and took a deep breath.
"Mortis," Gravis said slowly.
Mortis looked at Gravis.
"Her happiness is not your responsibility," Gravis said.
Mortis looked to the side in discomfort.
"Think about your time together," Gravis continued. "What was the thing that you wanted to do when you saw Joyce?"
Mortis didn't say anything.
"You wanted to make her happy," Gravis continued. "You are very attracted to her. So, it's only natural that you want to make her happy. Maybe give her a gift. Maybe make love to her. Maybe hug her. Maybe lay down with her."
"In short, you care about how she feels. You don't want her to be miserable since that would also make you miserable. You want her to feel great! When she feels great, you feel great!"
"That's how love works, Mortis," Gravis said. "I want Stella to have the best life imaginable, and I would do anything for her, and I know for a fact that Stella feels the same way towards me. We both would do everything for each other."
"Whenever I feel Stella's conviction to want to make me as happy as possible, I only feel more love for her, and I know that she also feels these same feelings when she feels my conviction. We often talked about how much we are in disbelief that the other one feels so strongly towards us."
"This is love, Mortis," Gravis said. "Mortis, you want to make Joyce happy in a similar way to how I want to make Stella happy. That's great!"
"However, does Joyce want to make you happy?"
Silence.
Mortis thought back to his time with Joyce.
Joyce had wanted nothing more than to be dominated by someone more powerful than her.
She wanted to feel completely helpless in front of the other person. Her need to feel these things even forced her to attack Mortis with the intention to kill.
This was how incredibly important this was to her.
What did she think of Mortis?
Mortis was great!
Mortis was incredibly powerful, and he was able to make Joyce feel things she had never felt before.
What if Mortis said that he wouldn't want to do these things to her anymore?
What would Joyce think?
She would think that Mortis was a weak-willed pussy. In Joyce's mind, Mortis wouldn't even count as a man anymore.
He was only someone with a weak personality.
'It all boils down to how she feels,' Mortis thought.
Joyce didn't care how Mortis felt.
She only cared about how he made her feel.
If he couldn't make her feel anything, he was worthless.
"She's searching for someone that has her mask as their true personality," Mortis said.
Gravis and Arc remained silent.
"She wants someone that has no remorse. She wants someone that simply takes whatever they want, no matter what anyone thinks or if it's right or not."
"However, I'm sure that she also wants the other person to care for her."
"Sadly, it's impossible for these two things to coexist in the same person."
"She wants Apathy and Empathy at the same time."
"Mortis," Gravis said solemnly. "Joyce doesn't care about you. She doesn't love you. Her long years of trying to eradicate all forms of empathy from her mind have made her unable to feel empathy. As soon as the tiniest shred of empathy emerges, it is buried under a mountain of anger, hatred, disdain, and rage."
"Whenever she feels empathy, she explodes with anger."
"If someone can't feel empathy, it's impossible to love."
Gravis looked deeply at Mortis.
"It is impossible for Joyce to ever love someone."
Mortis closed his eyes and took several deep breaths.
A mortal might need time to think about this, but Mortis was a Star God now.
If he wanted to do something, he would do it!
"I understand," Mortis said as he opened his eyes with conviction.
"From now on, Joyce and I will have nothing to do with each other."
"I will speak to her when she returns and get this all over with," Mortis said.
Gravis and Arc smiled in support.
Mortis looked at Gravis and Arc deeply.
"Thank you for your help. I really needed it," Mortis said.
The smiles of Gravis and Arc widened.
"No problem," they said.