I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

A bunch of cultivators suddenly went insane in the group chat.

Scholar Tai Bai had posed the question, but he was at a complete loss.

Genetic Heavenly Tiger: “Who is this Fake Daoist Priest?”

Golden Holy Worshipper: “I’d like to know as well.”

No one answered them. All of the original group members from over a hundred years ago were too busy discussing spiritedly among themselves.

Atomic Bomb Fairy: “A mushroom cloud has risen up in my heart!”

Dreamy Voice Fairy: “I want to sing for joy!”

Daoist Wooden Ox: “Big Boss, is that really you?”

Dongfang Xue: “An Lin, An Lin, is that really you?”

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “It sure is. Long time no see, everyone.”

Enlightened Lazurite: “Welcome back, Big Boss!”

Green River Sword Immortal: “Welcome back, Big Boss!”

Dongfang Xue: “Welcome back, Big Boss!”

Everyone in the group suddenly became a photocopier repeating the same message.

Unbeknown to even An Lin himself, he really missed this group of people.

The passage of time did not seem to have affected them, and they were still just as adorable and fun as they once were.

An Lin scrolled up to Dongfang Xue’s photo. She was still just as beautiful and serene, and nothing about her suggested that over a hundred years had passed.

She was a singer who looked exactly the same now as she did over a hundred years ago. Thankfully, the masses were aware of the existence of cultivators now. Otherwise, they would be absolutely flabbergasted by Dongfang Xue’s insane longevity!

After a burst of commotion, the group chat finally settled down.

All of the new members of the group were finally enlightened by the original members and learned about who An Lin was. Just one title was enough to strike reverence and shock into their hearts: Heavenly Court War God!

This meant that one of the most powerful beings in the Kingdom of the Nine States had suddenly arrived in their Small World. All of them were shocked beyond belief.

One had to realize that An Mingchuan was able to found the number one sect in the Hua Nation just because he was An Lin’s dad. And now, An Lin himself had appeared in their group chat. How could they not be astonished?

In just a minute, An Lin received over a hundred friend requests.

Daoist Priest Xuyun: “May I ask why Big Boss An Lin has returned to Earth this time?”

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “I’m here mainly to inspect the cracks in the formation around Earth to see if there is any way to prevent them from splitting even further.”

All of the cultivators immediately became excited again upon hearing this.

The Heavenly Human Tribe enemies were increasing in both number and power levels, which was proving to be quite a distressing trend. With An Lin here to take care of them, everyone felt like this would soon be a problem of the past.

Daoist Priest Xuyun: “Please feel free to tell me if you need any help from me.”

Enlightened Lazurite: “Me too! I’m willing to provide my full assistance.”

Dongfang Xue: “Count me in! I’ll help you even if I miss all my concerts!”

Atomic Bomb Fairy: “I provide free explosive services…”

Light Particle Bomb Fairy: “I provide heat and light particle explosion services and am willing to help even if it means bankruptcy!”

Crack Shot Clairvoyant: “Free fortune-telling.”

All of the cultivators were very enthusiastic.

Tears welled up in An Lin’s eyes upon seeing this. He was very touched and replied that he would definitely contact them should their services be required.

This group encompassed all of the most prodigious and most powerful cultivators on Earth, so it was pretty much the most powerful group chat on Earth.

An Lin shut off the group chat and experimented with a few more of the Starputer’s functions. The Starputer was capable of giving massages and could even provide projections that could satisfy all five senses.

Ne Zha and Da Bai were quite excited upon seeing this, and both of them announced that they wanted Starputers as well.

An Mingchuan laughed heartily upon hearing this. He had clearly anticipated this would happen, and he pulled out two more Starputers from his storage ring, both of which were also high-level ones. However, these were not limited edition models.

These weren’t his sons, so there was no need to spend that much money on them.

An Lin chatted with Chen Jingguo about how to take care of the cracks before deciding that he was going to gather some people tomorrow to familiarize himself with Earth’s environment first.

Sun Luoqiu’s cheeks were still quite flushed, and she immediately volunteered to be An Lin’s tour guide.

An Lin rejected her offer in a stern manner. He was genuinely afraid that a frenetic, retarded superfan like her would try to reverse-rape him. Boys had to learn to protect themselves.

Thus, loli Tian Lingling was assigned with the duty of showing him around Earth.

After bidding farewell to Chen Jingguo and Sun Luoqiu, An Lin and the others rose into the sky and traveled toward the Peace Sect.

An Lin rode his dog, An Mingchuan traveled atop his sword, Ne Zha stood atop his wind flame wheels, and Tian Lingling stood atop her lightning darts as the four of them flew through the air extremely quickly.

Tian Lingling was still her petite self. Her pink dress danced in the wind and had a very low collar, revealing her fair, smooth skin, and her intricate collarbone as well as the flat landing strip on her chest. She wore a pair of white tights and brown boots, further contributing to her loli image.

She had completely given up on her chest and her height, so she accepted reality and walked the loli path to the very end.

Tian Lingling’s fingers quickly tapped the screen of light particles before her. “So this is where you activate the massage, this is how you can inspect your vital functions, this is the game interface…”

Ne Zha and Da Bai flew along as they fiddled excitedly with their Starputers under Tian Lingling’s instructions.

There were many functions that they could achieve through the use of spell techniques, but the recreational functions like the game and video players were very tempting to them.

“Hahahaha, this Heavenly Court Immortal Battle game is really fun, woof!” Da Bai pressed his paws all over the screen, controlling his True Lord Erlang avatar to battle Ne Zha.

This was a type of three-dimensional hologram game where the fighting avatars literally jumped out of the screen and unleashed a series of powerful abilities, creating a spectacular sight to behold.

Da Bai was only playing this game for the first time, but his insane reflexes and timing allowed him to completely dominate Tian Lingling, who was a seasoned veteran.

Never did she think that she would be destroyed by a dog in this game.

Most importantly, this dog was only playing the game for the very first time.

In the end, True Lord Erlang slew Ne Zha and emerged as the victor.

“Ne Zha is trash! Woof!” A disdainful smile appeared on Da Bai’s face.

The real Ne Zha’s expression darkened. “Even though I know you’re not talking about me, it still doesn’t feel good to hear that!”

“Woof! How do you know I wasn’t talking about you?” Da Bai wagged his tail in a provocative manner.

“Hehe…” Ne Zha cracked his knuckles.

Thus, Ne Zha and Da Bai both logged onto the Heavenly Court Immortal Battle Game and engaged in an earth-shattering battle.