Vol 4. Chapter 78: Prismstone Unicorn
“Holy—?!” Vinny froze for a split second, then dodged the hoof flying straight at his face on pure combat instinct.
Damn, that had been close.
If that hoof had really landed on his face, then this handsome, elegant face of his—the kind so devastatingly good-looking it could make a carriage blow a tire just by seeing it—would have been ruined!
And if that happened, how was he supposed to keep making a living off his face??
The more Vinny thought about it, the angrier he got. He had always been a very low-key person. He admitted he did not have many strengths, but there was one thing he simply could not deny. Ah yes—that was the fine skin his parents had blessed him with, the kind that had captivated who knew how many girls in the bloom of youth.
If that hoof had actually hit him, it would not have been a joke.
For a moment, Vinny was furious as he glared at the rainbow pony that had suddenly attacked him.
“Hey! What the hell is your problem? Did this young master offend you somehow? You actually dared kick at this young master’s handsome, dashing, beautiful face? If you damaged it, would you be able to pay for it? Could you even afford to??” Vinny pointed at the little purple rainbow pony, which for some reason had suddenly gone feral, and shouted angrily.
The rainbow pony seemed as though it had only just woken from a dream, all groggy and half-asleep. But once it heard Vinny yelling at it, it seemed to wake up completely. It shook its head, snorted, and raised a hoof again like an angry cat hissing.
“Oh? So I say a couple words to you and now you’re getting worked up? What, you’re that precious? Not allowed to criticize you?” Vinny curled his lips.
At that, the rainbow pony took several steps back and bared its teeth at Vinny.
“Tch. So you were the one who attacked first, and now you think you’re the one in the right??” Vinny crossed his arms.
The unicorn hissed and snorted at Vinny several more times, grinding its teeth, though who knew what exactly it was trying to say to him.
“What are you even saying?” Vinny frowned. Though even if it could talk, he was sure it would not be saying anything very friendly.
“Tch, forget it. You can’t even speak human language. Why am I wasting my breath arguing with you?” Knowing that unicorns were highly spiritual creatures that could understand the language of intelligent beings, Vinny deliberately curved his lips and said that on purpose.
The purple-maned unicorn immediately looked offended, as if ready to argue with him on the spot, and raised its hoof again.
“What, not convinced? Then go ahead—say a few words in human language for me.” Vinny had somehow genuinely gotten into a fight with the unicorn and openly provoked it.
The unicorn stomped hard on the ground and abruptly fell silent.
Hm? Why had it suddenly gone quiet?
Just as Vinny was wondering, violet mist began to spread out around the unicorn, drifting outward in all directions.
“What the hell now??” Vinny was startled.
Unicorns could use magic. Was this rainbow pony so enraged by him that it was about to vent its anger on him??
That would be bad.
Just as Vinny was bracing himself to defend, the violet mist gradually dispersed.
“Huh?” Vinny looked around and discovered that once the smoke had cleared, the unicorn was gone.
Wait, it had just run away like that?
No way. Was this rainbow pony’s mentality really that weak? He had only mouthed off at it a couple times, and it had already fled in panic?
But if it had run off, why had it specifically cast a smoke spell first?
“This rainbow pony... what, is it part squid or something?” Vinny muttered to himself.
“Hey, you human, that’s incredibly rude! Who are you calling a squid??”
At that moment, a childish voice rang out, sweet and girlish and full of indignation and anger.
“Huh??” Startled, Vinny looked around again, his heart tightening.
No, there was still nobody there.
So who the hell was talking??
In broad daylight, it could not possibly be a ghost, right??
“This is way too creepy. I can hear someone talking, but I can’t see where they are?” Vinny frowned, then suddenly recalled that he seemed to have gone through something very similar before, with someone very similar.
Thinking of a certain white-haired little nutball, realization dawned on Vinny’s face. He lowered his gaze—
And sure enough, there stood a tiny girl with silky purple twin ponytails, skin white as snow, so delicate it looked as if a pinch would bring water out of it.
She had pink little lips puffed up in a pout. Her adorably doll-like face was covered with outrage, and her brilliant blue eyes, bright as stars, were glaring furiously at Vinny.
She was obviously angry, but because of her size and appearance, a little girl like this did not look scary when angry.
If anything, she looked adorable.
Like a little doll someone could lift with one hand and gather into their arms.
“So cute,” Vinny said before he even knew why he had said it.
“W-What are you saying??” The purple-haired little girl froze in confusion. They had been in the middle of arguing, so why had he suddenly started calling her cute??
“I’m not happy at all about being called cute by someone like you, so shut up already!” the purple-haired little girl snapped irritably. “And what’s with that look on your face? It’s disgusting!”
“Ah—no, wait. Who are you, anyway?” Vinny snapped back to himself, with no idea what kind of nonsense had possessed him to blurt that out. He shook his head and stared at the adorable little girl, who was all puffed up and bristling with anger, his expression turning strange.
“Me? You don’t recognize me now? Weren’t you just calling me out for not being able to speak human language?”
“W-Wha—??” Vinny stared at her in shock. “You... you’re that rainbow pony from before??”
“What do you mean, rainbow pony? Who’s a rainbow pony? I have a name, okay? My name is Caesha!” The purple-haired little girl glared at Vinny.
“So... you can turn into a human?” Vinny held it in for a while before finally squeezing out that line.
“It’s just shapeshifting. I’m a noble Prismstone Unicorn, not some low-grade magical beast, so of course I can.” With her hands on her hips, the little girl looked Vinny over while speaking. “And I modeled this form after elves.”
“Tch. Being human was already bad enough. How are you also male?” the purple-haired little girl said with obvious disdain. “And on top of that, you’re a human male who isn’t even good-looking.”
That line instantly set Vinny off.
Almost kicking him was one thing.
But insulting his looks??
She could insult anything about him except slander his face, understood??
“You little purple-haired brat, who are you calling ugly?? This young master is Carillian Academy’s number-one school heartthrob, got it?? What kind of taste do you even have? This young master thinks you just haven’t seen a handsome man in centuries! Your standards need serious work!”
“Handsome? You??” The purple-haired little girl nearly laughed in anger. “You actually think you’re handsome?”
“What, you have a problem with that?”
“Nothing much. I’m just curious—are all humans this narcissistic?” the little girl hmphed. “Or are your beauty standards just that low, where someone who looks like you qualifies as handsome?”
“Tch. What would a little brat like you know about handsome men? You’ve probably never even seen one.”
“Little brat? Human, I’m probably much older than you.” The purple-haired little girl arched a brow.
“Oh? So the little brat’s pretending to be mature now? How old are you, then? Go on, let this young master hear it.” Vinny was completely unconvinced.
“Our unicorn lifespans are far longer than yours. Since the day I was born, more than twenty years have already passed.” The purple-haired little girl glanced at Vinny. “What about you, human?”
“More than twenty years? You?” Vinny looked her up and down in surprise. No matter how he looked at her, he could not see how this tiny thing was actually over twenty.
“Oh, then I get it. You’re definitely younger than me.” Seeing Vinny’s reaction, the little girl immediately wore a mocking look. “What is this? Calling other people little brats, when you’re not even as old as they are? Is this today’s first cold joke?”
“Tch. Forget it. This young master can’t °• N o v e l i g h t •° be bothered discussing that with you.”
“Can’t be bothered discussing that with me? Then let’s talk about this handsome-man issue instead. I’ve seen plenty of handsome, beautiful male elves in elf lands. I’ve never seen a single one as ugly as you.” Caesha swept her gaze over Vinny from top to bottom, utterly disdainful.
“I’d just woken up earlier, and when I saw you standing that close to me, you scared me. I thought this ugly thing was about to do something to me.”
“Hey! Who are you calling ugly? You’re the ugly one!”
“Oh? So this human actually thinks he looks better than elves?” The purple-haired little girl looked at Vinny with a serious expression.
“Of course I do. This young master just is good-looking. What about it?” Vinny looked utterly confident.
“I can’t see the good-looking part, but I can definitely see that your mouth is stubborn.” The purple-haired little girl rolled her eyes and looked away, apparently deciding that if this human wanted to think that, then whatever. It was not worth arguing with him.
“Caesha, why did you shapeshift? And what are you arguing with Mr. Vinny about?” At that moment, a gentle voice cut through the quarrel.
Vera walked up holding her staff, dressed in a white priestess robe.
“Caesha, how was it that I was only gone for a little while, and you’d already started fighting with our honored guest?” Vera sighed as she looked from Vinny to Caesha.
“Lady Vera, the ‘honored guest’ the elders told me to come receive... it can’t possibly be this ugly, slow-talking, sloppy human, can it?” Caesha folded her arms and pouted.
“Sloppy??” Vinny straightened his collar and, after confirming there was nothing messy about him, spoke up. “Nonsense. This young master is perfectly clean. Tell me—where exactly am I sloppy??”
“Caesha, you mustn’t be rude to a guest,” Vera reprimanded.
“I know, Lady Vera. I’ll try,” Caesha muttered with her little mouth sullenly puffed out.
“Not ‘I’ll try,’ Caesha. Child, don’t you understand what I mean?” Vera looked thoroughly exasperated.
“Fine, fine, I know. It was my fault, okay?” Caesha lowered her head, forced and unwilling in her apology.
“So then, what exactly happened just now, Caesha? How did you end up arguing with Mr. Vinny?”
“Didn’t you say earlier, Lady Vera, that you had something to do and would be gone for a bit? As for me, I was taking a nap. Then I vaguely heard some noise, so I opened my eyes and saw this human—ah, I mean this honored guest—right in front of me. I thought he was about to touch me, so I got scared and instinctively kicked at him.”
“You...” Vera looked helpless after hearing that and could only turn to Vinny. “I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Vinny. As a unicorn, this child is still young, and her mind is not yet fully mature. It is inevitable that she may do things that offend you. Please forgive her.”
“Wuuu... I’m sorry.” Seeing that she seemed to have caused trouble for Vera, Caesha could only apologize to Vinny again and again.
“Forget it. It’s fine.” As a mature and reliable male, Vinny felt that it was best not to stoop to the level of a child like this. Right now, taking care of important business came first.
“Thank you for your generosity. Then, Mr. Vinny, since time is short, let us board the carriage.”
“Lady Vera, do I really have to be the one pulling him?” Caesha could not help saying.
“What are you saying, Caesha? Of course you do. That is exactly why I asked you to come—to receive this guest,” Vera said helplessly.
“But Lady Vera, you should know some of our species’ habits, shouldn’t you?” Caesha said gloomily.
Before coming here, she had thought the person she was meant to receive would be some absurdly beautiful, gentle, elegant older lady.
She had never imagined it would be a male human who was ugly and narcissistic.
“Of course I know. I’m not asking you to carry Mr. Vinny on your back. Mr. Vinny and I will both be in the carriage.”
“All right. I understand.” As she spoke, Caesha transformed back into her unicorn form, shook out her purple mane, and fixed her large eyes forward.
“Mr. Vinny, let us go.” Vera stepped onto the carriage as she spoke.
“Miss Vera, you’re coming with me too?” Vinny asked.
“Yes. The elders are concerned that any hospitality on their side may fall short, so they asked me to accompany you,” Vera replied.
“Oh, is that so? Then please thank the elders for their courtesy on my behalf.” Vinny looked at Vera. He was smiling on the surface, but who knew what he was thinking inside.
Vinny followed Vera onto the carriage. With a clear cry from Caesha and a lift of her hooves, the carriage began to move.
Vera sat beside Vinny. He could smell the flower-like fragrance drifting from her body, yet his gaze remained fixed outside the window, his face calm.
“This should not be your first time riding in a carriage, Mr. Vinny,” Vera said.
“Mm. I’ve ridden unicorn carriages at Carillian Academy quite a few times. But those unicorns fly through the sky,” Vinny said.
“Carillian Academy’s unicorn carriages?” Vera was just about to say something when Caesha, pulling the carriage up front, let out a series of sharp cries before she could.
“What is she saying?” Vinny asked, puzzled.
“Hehe. That child Caesha is rather competitive. She says the unicorns Eternity Forest leases to Carillian Academy are all very ordinary unicorns, whereas she is a Prismstone Unicorn, and cannot be mentioned in the same breath as them.” Vera could not help laughing as she translated for him.
“Prismstone Unicorn??”