Chapter 243 Unbalanced
Zürich, Switzerland.
Iris woke up from yet another nightmare. She was panting and trembling, drenched in her own cold sweat. Her heart raced wildly inside her chest.
"I'm alright it's just a dream I didn't do it it's not me," she chanted to herself again and again, trying hard to calm herself down.
The nightmare was always the same. It was of her torturing the Alarm Girls and Fan Luo. She could hear all their screams of pain, agony, hatred and fear directed at her. She cried for her body to stop, but it wouldn't listen. She couldn't control it. Her body kept on torturing the women in bloodthirsty ecstasy.
The blood staining her hands felt like permanent marks slowly blackening her soul. No matter how hard she tried to clean off all the blood, it felt like she would never feel truly clean again.
Ever since she woke up from fainting after the remnant punished Fan Luo and the Alarm Girls, she had been having these nightmares almost every time she fell asleep. It came to a point that she didn't want to sleep anymore.
After a few days of severe insomnia, she knew that she couldn't live like this. She had to do something to deal with it herself. Getting psychological help from a professional was out of question because they might wrongfully diagnose her as having dissociative identity disorder. Nobody except her brother Lu Zihao would believe that she transmigrated, anyway.
That was why she decided to leave the country. She hoped that distancing herself from the place where these traumatic events happened would help her regain a sense of balance within herself.
She felt unwilling to leave Jin Liwei, but he had a close connection to the events. He was one of the reasons, alongside Fan Luo and the Alarm Girls, why the remnant within her went berserk. She worried that staying with him while she was still feeling unbalanced would only worsen her state.
Besides, she also wanted to take this time away from him to fully figure out her feelings for him. Their relationship had been so fast that they already became lovers before she could even make sense of the situation. Ever since he barged into her life, they had been together. She wanted to know if her deepening feelings for him would change now that they weren't seeing or talking to each other on a daily basis.
So far, the result was that she was missing Jin Liwei every single day. Her heart longed for him. She was tempted to call him, but she stopped herself. She had a feeling that if she heard his voice, her resolve to fix herself first would go down the drain and she would want to immediately fly back to him.She grabbed a pillow and hugged it, imagining that it was Jin Liwei. His image in her mind comforted her until she finally calmed down.
"I miss you so much, Liwei," she murmured, tightening her arms around the pillow.
Sighing, she rose from the bed. The sky was dark outside. As usual, she woke up from the nightmares while it was still dawn. The sun would rise in about an hour.
She wore a fluffy robe and headed downstairs to the kitchen. The middle-aged female caretaker was already awake and greeted her in German. The caretaker brewed some calming Kava tea blend for Iris.
They were at Grandpa Lu's mansion villa which was located in one of the wealthiest neighbourhoods in the city. The area was picturesque with sprawling hills and forests, overlooking the lake.
Unfortunately, Iris hadn't gone out exploring yet. At the moment, she just couldn't find it in herself to enjoy and appreciate the beauty of this place. She was still dealing with the emotional trauma the torture gave her. As a result, she spent her days inside the villa playing the piano almost nonstop.
Immersing herself in music helped her in escaping from the memories of the torture. It seemed that this method was somewhat effective because her nightmares weren't as frequent anymore. Sometimes three days would pass by without a nightmare.
The sky outside began to lighten. Iris sipped her tea and waited for the sunrise. The caretaker began cooking breakfast.
"Good morning!" Grandpa Lu's voice boomed while walking down the staircase. He was already dressed impeccably, ready for the day.
Iris and the caretaker greeted him back."Wah!" he suddenly exclaimed, clutching his chest in a dramatic manner. "Oh. It's just you, Xiulan my girl. I thought it was a ghost! You're still beautiful, but let me just say that you look TERRIBLE! I didn't want to force you before and allowed you to be by yourself, but enough is enough! After breakfast, go get dressed. We're going out!"
Iris protested. "But Grandpa Lu, I don't think—"
"We're going out even if I have to drag you! You're gonna grow moulds and mushrooms at this rate if you continue holing yourself inside the house! I don't know what happened to you, and I respect that you don't want to tell me, but I can't take it anymore seeing you like this! So we're going out today whether you like it or not!"
Iris sighed, not really looking forward to the idea. "Alright, Grandpa Lu. May I know where we're going?"
"To Cross Academy, of course! You haven't been there yet, right? So I'm taking you! That Dupont bastard has been pestering me every single day to bring you to the academy ever since he learned that you're here in Switzerland! Hmph! I'm so tired listening to his nonstop nagging! So annoying! If he really wants to see you so badly, why doesn't he just come here instead? I know! He's just too lazy to come down from the mountains! Bossy bastard!"
A lovely chuckle escaped from her lips. It felt like it had been so long since she laughed. Grandpa Lu's expression looked satisfied after seeing her laugh. He nodded.
After breakfast and a shower, Iris boarded a helicopter with Grandpa Lu. They wore thick coats because it was winter cold in the Swiss Alps.
Iris' earlier reluctance to go out was now replaced by excitement. She visited the academy as Evelina in the past, but it wasn't a very enjoyable experience because her small army of entourage severely restricted her. They only allowed her a short amount of time to tour the academy and limited the people she met.
This time, she didn't have any such restrictions. She could finally explore the academy in its entirety and meet the people comprising it.
Grandpa Lu noticed her excitement. "We came at a good time. There are quite a number of people staying at the academy right now. You'll be able to meet some of your fellow students and their instructors. Some alumni are also visiting. Oh, your instructors will also be there. Kalisha and Akio decided to drop by the academy when I told them that I brought you to Switzerland.""I can't wait to meet all of them," she said with a smile.