Chapter 34: Official Certification and Verifiable Record, Beating the Drums to Gather the Army
Chapter 34: Chapter 34: Official Certification and Verifiable Record, Beating the Drums to Gather the Army
That evening, Pei Shaoqing played host, booking out the Qunfang Garden to treat his colleagues from the Hundred Households. After all, he had to let his brothers know that while he couldn’t make them line up like some other generals, they could at least get some perks by following him.
Of course, he himself had no interest in the common courtesans of a brothel, so once he’d had his fill, he headed home early.
He arrived home late. Upon entering his room, he saw Xie Qingwu, who had already washed up for the night. She was wrapped in a layer of light gauze, leaning against the low couch—which now also served as her bed—and reading a book.
The soft candlelight traced the graceful curve of her enchanting figure. The light gauze, while revealing nothing, stretched taut over the swell of her chest in a particularly alluring way. Her long, well-proportioned legs were wrapped in white Ice Silk, and she swung her feet lightly at the ankles.
Whether she was willing or not, their relationship had grown much more intimate ever since the last incident where things got a bit... wet and slippery. Her attire had become more casual as a result.
After all, on such a hot day, it would be truly uncomfortable to sleep bundled up in layer after layer.
She’d start to smell fishy if she was all cooped up.
"Why are you always reading?" Pei Shaoqing, reeking of alcohol, asked as he closed the door and let out a burp.
The pages of Xie Qingwu’s book rustled softly as she turned one. Without looking up, she replied, "Because there are many things I don’t know, many things I don’t understand or recognize. But I’m filled with curiosity about this world, and since I can’t go see everything for myself, I can only glimpse it through what is recorded in books."
"So, does that mean you’ve read a lot of books?" Pei Shaoqing asked, walking over and sitting down beside her.
The reek of alcohol from him made Xie Qingwu wrinkle her nose in distaste. She said, rather smugly, "While I wouldn’t dare say I know the heavens above, I can at least say I know all that is below..."
"Paralyzed below the waist?" Pei Shaoqing quipped.
Xie Qingwu’s face darkened. She ignored him, turning her back to him before finishing her sentence, "...the geography of the world below."
"Where’s the cat?" Pei Shaoqing felt General Li had been seriously derelict in his duties lately and was prepared to dock his pay.
Xie Qingwu replied casually, "Your Grand General is probably busy establishing your Mao Camp. For the sake of your grand ambitions of conquest, he naturally has no time for a humble woman like me."
"My ambitions of conquest mean far less to me than you, my dear wife. That cat has its priorities mixed up. I’ll instruct it to focus on keeping you company," Pei Shaoqing said, wrapping his arms around her.
He had held Ye Hanshuang for a while that afternoon at the Hundred Households.
It had left him feeling a bit restless.
"Don’t touch me." Xie Qingwu struggled and quickly changed the subject. "What are you going to do about Noble Consort Wan?"
"My dear wife, you really overestimate me. Putting aside the disparity in power and influence, the sheer distance between us limits what I can do. At this stage, it’s really just a matter of reacting to her moves," Pei Shaoqing said, shaking his head helplessly.
The distance from Tongzhou to the Capital City protected him.
But it also restricted him.
Seeing that his hands weren’t straying, Xie Qingwu let him hold her and suggested softly, "Next time, you could get evidence that she’s trying to harm you and ask your father for help. Blood is thicker than water; he won’t ignore it. If he truly didn’t care about you, he wouldn’t have arranged for you to be sent so far away to Tongzhou."
’If this isn’t resolved, it’s not like I won’t get dragged into it when Noble Consort Wan comes for Pei Shaoqing’s head.’
’And I really, really want to go back to the Capital City!’
"My dear wife, you’re so naive." Pei Shaoqing held no such hopes. He hugged her slender waist, feeling the softness of her belly, and rested his head on her elegant back as he spoke.
"Sending me to Tongzhou proves that the last shred of father-son affection is gone. Do you think he couldn’t predict that Noble Consort Wan would retaliate? If he truly cared about me, the best arrangement would have been to let me join the army.
"Instead, he packed me off to Tongzhou with just five guards and not a single top-tier expert to handle things. As long as Noble Consort Wan doesn’t kill me outright and embarrass the Marquis’s Mansion, he probably won’t get involved. After all, he still has an outstanding, obedient eldest son."
’That’s something I’ve only recently figured out. It would be incredibly difficult to reawaken Marquis Weiyuan’s paternal love.’
"So that’s how it is," Xie Qingwu murmured.
At the same time, she felt a chill toward her father-in-law. He clearly didn’t care much about whether she, his daughter-in-law, lived or died either.
Pei Shaoqing kissed her on the cheek. "So you see, my good wife, we truly only have each other. We sink or swim together. Besides ourselves, not many people care if we live or die."
Xie Qingwu’s face was a mixture of pale and grim. She clenched her fists and said through gritted teeth, "We must return to the Capital City. And we must return alive and in glory."
"I’ll do my best." Pei Shaoqing couldn’t help but ask curiously, "Besides beating Noble Consort Wan’s nephew to death, what else did he do to make his own father give up on him completely?"
"He stole and sold family treasures, including the Jade Horse gifted by the Emperor. He attempted to assault his sister-in-law. He drunkenly harassed the Eldest Princess during a palace banquet. Even the Emperor himself said he was too unruly," Xie Qingwu stated, her face devoid of expression.
’Officially certified, with a verifiable track record.’
Pei Shaoqing was speechless. "..."
’Marquis Weiyuan wasn’t ruthless enough. If it were me, this rebellious son would never have caused so much trouble.’
’Because I would have beaten him to death long ago.’
"My own father is a lost cause. What about my father-in-law?" Pei Shaoqing changed his tack.
Xie Qingwu gave him a sidelong glance and rolled her eyes. "If my family could stand up to Noble Consort Wan, do you think they would have married me off to that infamous scoundrel?"
"My wife, don’t you worry. Noble Consort Wan won’t dare to be too blatant. As long as my power in Tongzhou grows stronger, I can at least guarantee our safety here," Pei Shaoqing said, taking Xie Qingwu’s soft hand.
Xie Qingwu turned her head to look at him.
Their eyes met. The moment was thick with ambiguity.
Just then, the sound of a window opening broke the silence.
They both whipped their heads around.
General Li leaped nimbly into the room.
"This servant greets his lord."
’He just had to show up at the perfect fucking time! If this cat hadn’t ruined it, I could have at least stolen a little kiss in this atmosphere.’
His face dark, Pei Shaoqing let go of Xie Qingwu’s hand and roared at his rebellious subordinate, "General Li! We ordered you to stay with the mistress! Why are you repeatedly derelict in your duty? We shall dock your salary!"
"No, my lord! This servant has been wronged..." General Li was about to cry and throw a tantrum. He stuck his rump in the air, about to kowtow and beg for mercy, when he suddenly realized something. He lifted his head and looked at Pei Shaoqing. "It seems this servant has never received a salary!"
He instantly stood up, straightening his back.
’How can you dock something I’ve never had?’
"Is that so?" Pei Shaoqing paused. "In that case, you are fined a salary. A fine of one hundred taels of gold, to be paid in full within three days. Otherwise, there will be a 10% daily late fee."
’Paying to work.’
’Advanced experience from certain corporations.’
’Company profits depend entirely on employee fines.’
"Ah!" General Li’s straightened back instantly slumped again. He said, with tears in his voice, "My lord, you cannot be a tyrant! This servant was busy organizing the establishment of the Mao Camp! I have already made some small progress. We can beat the drums on the training grounds and muster the troops at any time for your inspection!"
"That fast?" Pei Shaoqing’s interest was piqued. He immediately got off the couch. "Quickly, lead the way."
"This servant obeys the decree!"
***
「The moon was hidden on a windy night, and all was silent.」
"This way, my lord."
General Li led Pei Shaoqing to a derelict courtyard in the north corner of Tongzhou City. A few stray cats roamed inside. In the overgrown yard sat an old leather drum he had procured from who-knows-where.
"MEOW!" "MEOW!"
The stray cats meowed incessantly upon seeing General Li.
"All of you, shut your mouths, you bunch of idiots," General Li barked irritably. Then, remembering that most of his kind couldn’t understand human speech, he started meowing as well.
Only then did the strays gradually quiet down.
Pei Shaoqing asked with great interest, "Can these cats completely understand what you’re trying to communicate?"
"More or less," General Li replied, his gaze flickering evasively. He then leaped lightly onto the stone mill where the drum was placed, grabbed two sticks wrapped in rags, stood on his hind legs, and began to strike the drumhead.
"BOOM! BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!"
The rolling thunder of the drum carried far in the darkness.
Pei Shaoqing jumped in shock. He hadn’t expected the "beating the drums to muster troops" to be so literal. It was too late to stop him, so he quickly ordered Ye Hanshuang to stand guard outside and turn away anyone drawn by the noise on the pretext of Jing’an Guard business.
A cat’s hearing is far superior to a human’s. Soon, stray cats hunting mice and house cats sleeping peacefully all over the city began to rush out, converging on the abandoned courtyard.
By the time the drumming stopped, the once-desolate courtyard was filled with over a hundred cats of all colors. They all sat quietly, looking at General Li.
"My lord! Look at this servant’s grand army! With such an elite force, how could your great enterprise of conquest possibly fail?"
The fat cat on the stone mill stood with his paws on his hips, proud and full of himself.
The sight of a hundred-odd cats packed together was indeed quite shocking. "Very good, General Li. You won’t be fined. Keep up the good work. Have your subordinates keep an eye on all suspicious individuals in the city."
"Thank you, my lord!" General Li was overjoyed.
"MEOW!" Just then, a calico cat in the crowd let out a cry, stepped out of the ranks, and leaped up beside General Li, purring and meowing.
Pei Shaoqing asked, "What’s it saying?"
"My lord, this servant’s beloved consort says she discovered a suspicious fellow today," General Li replied.
’So! You still claim you have no treasonous ambitions!’
’He even dares to call his female cat a "beloved consort"!’
’Dammit, this stupid cat is rubbing off on me,’ Pei Shaoqing thought, then said, "General Li, have her lead you. Go take a look, and then return to report the situation to Us."
’Cats are still just cats, after all. They can communicate with their own kind, but they can’t understand human speech, which greatly reduces their effectiveness as spies. If only these cats could gain Spiritual Wisdom, learn to speak, and serve me, how wonderful that would be.’