Chapter 70 - Fears
Next morning, Iro Road High School, Physics prep room.
Sumire wanted to stay in his arms, really she did. But - but when she thought of the events of yesterday, she felt so embarrassed. She wanted to crawl into a hole and hide somewhere. She did not think they would end up doing it right away if she considers how Yuhi has been holding back this entire time. She supposes this was normal, but it still felt strange.
Yuhi, she never thought he was like that. Since she came here, he has acted like the perfect gentlem-- well okay that was wrong. There were many occasions where his behavior was questionable. But he never went overboard. That was the first time she smelt his cologne or had a proper look at Yuhi.
It was the first time she saw that side of him.
"Ibuki, did you come here to daydream?" Shin asked.
"I came here to hide from Yuhi."
Yes, out of all the places she knew of since she arrived in Tokyo. The physics prep room at school seemed to be the best choice for her. Sumire did think of going to the bar, but she knew Atushi would question why she was hiding. If Atushi learns about her and Yuhi, then everybody back home would find out. For now, she does not want those people to know.
Yesterday she was in a strange mood the entire time. But now that her feelings have calmed down, Sumire is starting to reflect.
My behavior yesterday was far too bold. What was I thinking?
Shin sighed. "You know Yuhi came here earlier."
Gah? He already came?
"But you were out back then."
Yuhi must still be looking for her. Sumire felt very conflicted; she wanted to go to him. Did he even eat breakfast? If he noticed she was gone, then he most-likely forgot to eat.
"If you want to see him, then go already; you're disturbing me."
Sumire slumped her head on the table. She could not focus on any of the mini-quizzes Shin gave her. She thought she could distract herself, but it did her no good. All she could think of was Yuhi's behavior last night.
"You two can do whatever you want, but remember birth control." Shin reminded her.
At that comment, she threw the book at him; unfortunately, he dodged it and caught the book. "When your embarrassed, you end up rambling a lot."
"..."
"I like him," Sumire mumbled. "But, I still wonder if this is okay."
Would Ru be angry? Only three months have passed since he passed away. This did not feel right to her. But he was also the one who told her to be happy with Yuhi. The reason why she even became involved with him was because of her feelings for Yuhi anyway. Now that she thought about it, didn't Ru say it too? That line about making her fall in love with him.
You can gradually fall for me.
How many more times does she have to hear that line? She feels so pathetic at times. Why does it seem like she has not had a proper relationship since the one with Sano?
"Even if it isn't, you can't stop your feelings. Ibuki, you have always liked Yuhi. I don't understand why you ended up dating Tsueno Mamoru."
Sumire lifted her head up and rested her back on the chair instead. "Is it that hard to understand?"
"You thought he would never like you."
"Mmm." Sumire trailed off. "When there are so many more fish in the sea, why would he bother with somebody like me?"
"Yuhi is not the type of person who judges someone based on their appearance; you should understand that better than me."
Sumire laughed softly. "I learned that too late." She trailed off. "But there is no use regretting it now. I went out with Ru and ended up falling in love with him. The thing is Nakara-sensei, to the very last moment, Ru did not know my feelings."
"You never…"
"Yes, I never got a chance to tell him that he succeeded and that I fell in love with him."
Ru told her that he would be there for her no matter what she decides. But before she even got to say it, he left her. Ru said he would be by her side forever, but that was a lie. If he was going to lie to her, then she wishes he gave her some sort of sign. If she knew beforehand, then she would not have fallen for him.
"But, your feelings for Yuhi never went away?" Shin asked.
Why is he asking so many questions today? It feels strange--- a sudden thought came to mind. Sumire looked around and spotted a familiar pair of shoes by the bookshelf facing the other wall. Her eyes widened, and she angrily got up.
"Hey, Ibuki?"
Sumire glared at Shin. "How dare you try to trap me. I won't trust you again." She snapped and immediately exited the door.
Yuhi was there, and he listened to everything. She feels ashamed of herself. After accepting his confession and sleeping with him. How could she go ahead and talk about Mamoru again? She has no shame whatsoever.
Her thoughts broke off when somebody grabbed her wrist.
Sumire did not have to turn around to know who it was. After admitting all that stuff to Shin, she does not want to see Yuhi right now.
"Turn around."
She does not say anything, and Sumire felt him wrap his arms around from the back. His lips buried at her neck. "Sumire, don't run away from me. I can't stand it if I don't see you even for a moment."
Here he is with his cheesy words and perfect lines again. Terashima Yuhi and his perfectly suspicious answers. He knows exactly what to say and accepts her scar. He accepts that she is more emotional than others. But did Sano not do the same thing?
Sano said to me that my scars are beautiful, that they make up who I am.
Sano said such sweet things to me.
But look at how he ended up? Looked what it did to her.
Somebody who accepts everything about her, does a person like that indeed exist? Even if they do, could she accept them?