Chapter 214 - Are We Ignoring The World Around Us?
The more Sumire explained the more voices appeared in his head.
'Morris you….'
'I can't help it if your girlfriend went to me because you neglected her. I will propose to you when we become number one in the U.S.? Don't make me laugh. You're just making excuses.'
Sumire continues, "It's odd, there should be nobody capable of surviving something like this. "
Jae nodded, agreeing with her. "Unless somebody granted them an external power."
'Even if you leave the group. You still have your barrier wrapped around us. You'll be back.'
"Ah—" Jae exclaimed. "This reminds me of something. Do you all remember what happened a few years ago? There were all those cases we dealt with at the beginning. The men we captured were strange, and they all had eye bags under there eyes."
"Aside effect?" Atushi mumbles.
He felt sick. He doesn't want to hear anymore.
His thoughts broke off when somebody poked his shoulder. His entire body tensed due to the contact. A sweet voice fills his ear. "Yuhi, let's take a coffee break."
Yuhi somehow managed to nod.
"Does anybody else want some coffee?"
The other two passed, and Yuhi is grateful. Sumire led him out of the room.
After walking for a while, they arrived at the floor where the coffee machine was located.
After getting their coffees, they found a discrete corridor with seats where they sat down.
Yuhi did not sit down, though, and he put his cup on the table and leaned against the glass. A gentle hand caresses his face. "Those eyebags don't suit you."
"I could say the same for you."
"Yuhi."
"Ha, I know. Hino already told me to invest in some sleeping pills."
"I will give you mine." Sumire brushed their forehead against each other. "So get some sleep properly tonight."
"You won't be with me?"
Silence loomed on them for a few minutes before he felt the brunette reach her hand over to touch his forehead. " As I thought, you were sweating."
"Sumire."
Sumire took a lilac-colored handkerchief from her pocket. She extended it towards him and wiped his sweat.
"Even though you were the one lecturing me about taking care of myself. Aren't you the one that's exhausted right now? That's no good; you should get some proper rest."
"I'm sorry "
The brunette shook her head. " It's alright. Yuhi, you must have been in pain this entire time. I'm sorry I couldn't be with you."
"Ha. What are you talking about? I'm the one who left you." he trails off, "But, right now, I want to hold you in my arms. Can I?"
"Yes."
Yuhi pulled the girl into his arms and immediately caught her sweet scent. Why does this feel so good? Just holding her in his arms like this, he feels content. It feels like all his problems will wash away.
He hid it very well, but he was exactly like her. He was feeling sad, anxious, and depressed all the time. Unlike her, however, he hid it very well, and he used other means to cope.
In the past, getting drunk, getting wasted, and sleeping with random girls helped him. He slept with anything that took their clothes off in front of him. Those bad rumors did not come from anywhere. There was a time when he was exactly like the guy in the rumors, messed up, unsociable, and horrible.
He calmed down slightly after he met Hino. There was still a lot of trial and error, but gradually he got his life together. During that time he decided he wanted to see Sumire, so he went to Star Town. When he arrived there, he only intended to have a look. But Mamoru would not allow that neither would Aki, those two made sure he saw Sumire.
He was still a mess then. But going to Star Town helped him gradually heal. When he learned that Ibuki Sumire would never be his, he ended up resorting to his other coping methods again.
It's not like he expected her to like him back. But Yuhi did not think she would reject him like that.
His gaze fell on the girl who was hugging him tightly. Now though? Now she is here with him. Is he clean and healed now? Yuhi knew he wasn't. There were still many days when he resented to live for a living when so many people died because of him.
But that was a story for another time. It is difficult to drown in his thoughts and sorrows when the girlfriend is touching him. Sumire was casual about it, the way she ran her hands on his shirt and the buckle of his belt. "Needy?" Yuhi mumbled when she looked up.
"Needy." She repeated.
He likes that she does not beat around the bush. Yuhi lowered his face and gave her a light kiss. "At home." He mumbles.
"Should we go then?"
Yuhi chuckled. "I don't think Jae and Atushi will appreciate that."
She pulls a face, a face that clearly says that she did not care. "You know, sometimes I think of looking for my brother. I heard I had one; they had him right after they left me." Yuhi mumbled. "But then the mere thought of it exhausted me."
It is exhausting.
Before he got his life together, everything was empty. He didn't know how it happened or when it was. But at some point, the things in his life that meant something no longer did. At some point, it felt like his voice had turned to lead, he was singing, but at the same time, he wasn't.
Sumire nodded. "It's exhausting having to explain. Why do we have to explain ourselves? Explaining makes it look like we did something wrong."
"Sumire.."
"I get it, Yuhi." She mumbled softly. "After being betrayed so many times. Adding another person into your life is exhausting. You don't want to deal with the same pattern happening all over again."
"Even if I do have other relatives. I would rather people think I was dead."
He was a dead man a long time ago in their eyes, so there is no use telling them he was alive.
There were many days in the past where he wished he would not wake up. He wished he no longer had to deal with the pain of being alive.
"Do you think I am lovable?" Sumire suddenly mumbled.
"Why are you asking?"
Why would she ask that when she knows he loves her so much?
"Sometimes, I feel we are only together because we are the same. Are we just seeking comfort and ignoring the world around us?"
His eyes widened when he heard her words. It's not like he never thought that before, because he did. This was the reason why he started to date other girls despite liking her for so long. There was a time Yuhi thought it was all fake, the feelings he had for Ibuki Sumire.