Back Then, I Adored You

Her scent continued to float into his nose, just like a lullaby, making him gradually fall asleep when he had been excited by her touch just before.

Before he fell completely asleep, his mind was still picturing their future. He thought that after waking up, he would regain his strength and tell her in detail what had been lingering in his mind.

He had even thought of the image of her walking towards him in her wedding dress, so beautiful that he was wearing a smile in his dream.

If Gu Yusheng had known that when he woke up again after his sleep, it wouldn’t be a bright future, but a terrible end that awaited the two of them, he wouldn’t have let himself fall asleep in any case.

For a long time afterwards, he was regretful.

What he regretted was not that he had missed his appointment to see her in Shanghai in order to save the little boys, nor that he had nearly lost his life in the river because of the little boys’ actions.

What he truly regretted was that fate was fooling him. What he had believed was a beginning was an end for her.

He regretted that he had been so close to her before, when he and she might not have ever missed each other, but he had failed to grasp that small hope.

…

Gu Yusheng’s breaths were gradually becoming long and even. Qin Zhi’ai, who had been leaning her head on his neck for a long time, gently raised her head and looked at his sleeping face.

Her eyes didn’t blink. She was staring straight at him with extreme concentration, as if to take him into her heart.

Looking at his face, she felt a warm feeling in her eyes and seemed to have a lump in her throat. She couldn’t stay here any longer, or she would be loath to part with him.

Thinking of how she would have to leave, Qin Zhi’ai suddenly turned her head. Before she stood up, her tears fell right on the man’s lips.

His eyebrows moved slightly in his sleep, but there was no sign that he was waking up.

She bit her lower lip and suppressed the intense pain that rolled through her chest, pulling her wrist away from his grip, which had no strength because he was now asleep. Then she stood up, grabbed the bag beside him, and went to the door without looking back.

Before she reached out and opened the door, she stopped. She wanted to look back at him again, but she had no courage. She was afraid that she would lose control of her emotions, so she straightened her back and stood still for half a minute, then suddenly opened the door, went out, shut the door, fled to the stairs, and rushed out of the hospital building.

When Qin Zhi’ai was approaching the doors of the hospital, her eyes were full of tears, so she couldn’t the roads ahead clearly at all. She accidentally bumped into a man, and the other apologized to her. She just shook her head, too choked up to even be able to reply, “Never mind.” She rushed to a small alley behind the hospital where no one would pass by, then squatted down and began to cry.

She had known that there would be such a day before she had promised to be Liang Doukou’s substitute.

She had been ready before, but now, when she really needed to leave him, she found that the pain was much more intense than she had imagined.

It was so painful that she couldn’t bear it at all…

Gu Yusheng, after our farewell today, you and I will really be parted forever.

I can no longer do what I did eight years ago. At that time, even if you had gone and failed to keep your appointment with me and I had been badly hurt, I still could have had a glimmer of hope and looked forward to your return.