Am I A God?

Uncle Egg raised his head and glanced at Zhao Yao before lowering his head once again. He seemed devoid of any spirit or happiness.

Zhao Yao started scrutinizing this old white cat from head to toe. His white fur was maintained in an immaculate state, free from a single speck of dust or dirt. It was evident that this cat was especially particular about its cleanliness. It must also be fairly healthy in order to maintain this image.

However, he seemed extremely lethargic with disappointment sagging through him. Evidently, there was something bothering him right now.

“That’s great, it will be even better if he requires my help!” This thought sprang into Zhao Yao’s head as he squatted right next to Uncle Egg. With his finger running through the fur on his head, Zhao Yao asked, “How are you? Are you happy? If there’s anything bothering you, please feel free to confide in me. I’ll be more than willing to lend you a helping hand.”

Uncle Egg slid Zhao Yao a lifeless glare and explained, “Hey kid, I have been hanging around Jiangmen University for close to 10 years. I have bitten people at the age of six months. I started my own catmint business days after celebrating my first birthday. I have met every single kind of person in my life.

From the looks of your palm, I can already deduce what kind of person you are. Speak, what do you want from me?”

Cold sweat beaded Zhao Yao’s forehead as he mumbled, “This sly old cat…” However, he mustered up his most amiable smile and explained, “I truly would like to help you. Feel free to voice any concerns that you might have. I just want all of you to enjoy a wonderful time here.”

“Hmph?” Uncle Egg’s forehead furrowed slightly as he stared at Zhao Yao. His eyes were filled with suspicion and doubt, but after much deliberation, he decided to share with Zhao Yao, “I would like some catmint. This stupid place only has cat food, canned food, and plain water. It doesn’t even have a single ounce of catmint. I’m getting so sick and tired of this mundane diet.”

As Uncle Egg spoke, the familiar golden exclamation mark had magically appeared at the top of his head. With a beaming smile spreading from ear to ear, Zhao Yao tapped on his mission panel to read through its contents.

Mission: How can cats survive without catmint?

Objective: Provide Uncle Egg a batch of satisfactory catmint.

Reward: The experience points rewarded were dependent on Uncle Egg’s satisfaction level. The experience points rewarded range between 10 and 100 points.

Punishment: Nil

Zhao Yao instantly accepted the mission and comforted Uncle Egg, “Do not worry. I will immediately order a new batch of catmint for you. The quality would definitely be to your liking.”

After leaving the extradimensional belly, Zhao Yao immediately made his way towards the cat toilet and started rummaging through the self-cleaning litter boxes.

Dust Ball grew somewhat flustered at this sight and caught up to Zhao Yao before asking, “Zhao Yao, Zhao Yao! What are you searching for?”

“Hmph, nothing much, I’m just arranging some stuff.” Before long, Zhao Yao had managed to locate a bag of catmint hidden within an indentation beneath the litter boxes.

Meow! Dust Ball let out a screeching shriek and pounced at the catmint in Zhao Yao’s hand. She exclaimed, “Zhao Yao! How do you even know I hid the catmint here?”

Images of Roly Poly sneaking around last night flooded his mind.

“Zhao Yao Zhao Yao! I have discovered where Dust Ball had kept all her catmint. She hid it under one of the automatic self-cleaning litter boxes!” Roly Poly announced as he sneakily went up to Zhao Yao, “Don’t tell her that I’m the one who betrayed her.”

Zhao Yao patronized Roly Poly by rubbing him on his head and showering him with a few compliments. Roly Poly then walked away with spring in his steps and his butt swinging from left to right proudly.

However, Zhao Yao turned a deaf ear to Roly Poly’s request and gave Dust Ball a three-worded reply, “It’s Roly Poly.”

“This stupid fatso!” Dust Ball screamed as she grabbed the bag of catmint for dear life. She continued screaming, “Zhao Yao, these are the catmint you promised me! You cannot take them away!”

Zhao Yao began prying her paws from the bag of catmint, one finger by one. Zhao Yao whispered, “Do not worry. I’m just borrowing this from you. I’ll return it to you tomorrow.”

“No!”

“I’ll return you double the amount tomorrow. Deal?”

“You promise me?”

“Don’t worry. I, Zhao Yao, am known for being a man of his words. Would I actually lie to my own cats?”

Zhao Yao finally managed to pry Dust Ball’s paws away from the goods before making his way to the second floor. He stopped directly beneath the ventilation pipe on the ceiling.

Upon seeing Zhao Yao’s sudden stop, shivers instantly ran down Dust Ball’s spine.

“Zhao Yao! What are you trying to do?”

Just when Dust Ball’s voice rang in Zhao Yao’s ears, Zhao Yao had already raised his hands in the air and activated his deflection field. Immediately, a parcel levitated out of the ventilation pipe and into Zhao Yao’s hands.

Dust Ball was barely able to breathe at this sight. With all her fur puffed up, she exclaimed, “Zhao Yao! Let go of your hands! These are premium Polygonum cat stick! These divine goods are made with the premier catmint! I’ve stashed these things for such a long time and I can hardly bear to eat them myself. Where are you bringing them to?”

“I’ll return double the amount tomorrow. Do not worry. Count today your lucky day. I’ll just return double the amount of goods that I’ve taken today.”

Dust Ball could only watch as her precious treasure was taken away from her. Her eyes were glued to the goods as she followed Zhao Yao down. She would even let out a series of heart-wrenching scream from time to time.

…

Zhao Yao returned to the belly and pushed the containers containing the weapons and props to a side. He laid out a small but comfortable mattress before placing an assortment of bottles and cans on top of it.

Once ready, he went over to Uncle Egg and said, “Uncle Egg, take a look at the catmint which I have prepared for you. It will definitely be to your liking.”

Uncle Egg simply shook his head in disappointment, “Hmph, I’ve been feeding on catmint since the day I’ve set foot on earth. Young man, I have seen and tasted every single catmint in this world. The catmint that you find will be considered magnificent if it manages to let me relax by just a little…”

While listening to Uncle Egg’s grandiose claims, Zhao Yao had lifted him off the ground and entered a container. He rested Uncle Egg on the mattress and explained, “Uncle Egg, allow me to introduce you to the goods.”

Uncle Egg stared nonchalantly at Zhao Yao. However, he was rather curious as to what kind of catmint Zhao Yao had managed to procure.

Zhao Yao tore open the first can and introduced, “These are the freshest goods shipped directly from Yun Nan. After drying them, these were infused with vitamins and chlorophyll. It is the perfect culmination of taste and authenticity. Have a try.”

Uncle Egg reached out his trained paw and swiped a handful off of Zhao Yao’s hands before carefully dabbing his tongue. Instantly, his eyes shut together as he muttered, “Hmph, this is not bad at all. I can even taste the fragrance of the sun shining on it after it was left out to dry. This is good. Do you have anything else?”

Zhao Yao noticed the changes to his mission panel and realized that he had already completed the mission. However, the experience points which he could receive were only 10 points. This meant that the catmint was barely satisfactory.

Zhao Yao went on to open a new box of catmint and explained, “After drying, this catmint were ground to powder for consumption.”

Uncle Egg’s eyes instantly gleamed with excitement. As a stray cat, all the catmint which he had seen were still in their most natural state. One sniff of the powdered catmint had shown him the brilliance of it.

“By taking one sniff worth of powdered catmint, the catmint had immediately entered my bloodstream and into my head. This is truly too high! You humans really know how to enjoy life.”

Uncle Egg had collapsed to the floor with the euphoria rushing through his body. He mumbled, “However, it is still not as fresh as the catmint freshly plucked from the gardens.”

Zhao Yao’s eyes squinted into a line as he saw the 30 experience points up for grabs. He proceeded to the next can and said, “Take a look at this then.”