Chapter 439: Regret
Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios
He placed a little bit of the ointment on Xia Ling’s wound.
The ointment was cold, so it eased the burning pain of her wound. Under the dim crystal light, she looked at his face quietly. There was a bruise on his lips and a few bloodstains that dried up. He looked different from his usual calm and gentle image. Instead, he came off as violent and fierce.
This was the first time Xia Ling saw him lose control of himself. Even when they quarreled or when he was arrogantly punishing her, he always maintained control, unlike the way he disregarded everything then. He was like a young boy who had started to become interested in love and got into a fight because of his first girlfriend.
Unconsciously, she went into a trance.
“What are you looking at?” Pei Ziheng asked as he applied the ointment on her.
Xia Ling avoided his gaze. “Nothing.”
He did not probe further as he helped her lie down and covered her with a blanket. “Sleep early.”
“What about you?” Xia Ling asked. “Are your wounds… serious?”
Startled, his expression became gentler. “It’s nothing much, just a scratch.”
“Then you need the ointment too.” She was hurt badly after being punched once. Since he was punched so many times, his injuries were definitely more serious than hers.
Pei Ziheng said, “Ok.” After that, he walked to the small table beside the bed where he placed the ointment. First, he treated the wounds on his lips and cheeks. Then, he turned around and took off his suit and shirt, revealing his lean and attractive muscles.
Xia Ling turned around to avoid looking at him.
She was familiar with every inch of his skin, just like how she was familiar with herself. Every inch of joy and pain was still that memorable to her. Even though a long time had passed, she could not be completely indifferent, so she could only avoid them.
However, on that side of the bed was a floor-to-ceiling glass window which showed the reflection of him wrapping his injuries with gauze.
Xia Ling wanted to close her eyes, but she continued to stare at the blurry figure in the glass window subconsciously. She could not look away.
He skillfully applied medication to his chest, waist, and lower abdomen. He was injured in more places than she thought. The more she looked at him, the sadder she felt. He took a long time to finish treating his wounds on the front of his body. She then saw him lift his hands like he was trying to reach behind his back but was unable to feel for the wound. Thus, he put down the medicine bottle and picked up his clothes to put back on.
Finally, Xia Ling could not tolerate it any longer. She turned over and sat up on the bed. ” Wait, you still haven’t applied the ointment somewhere…”
He probably did not expect her to turn around, so his hands that were holding his clothes stopped in midair.
However, at that moment, Xia Ling choked in horror. Her gaze was locked on a spot on his left arm. “This is…”
He covered it with his clothes. “It’s nothing.”
Xia Ling climbed out of bed to pull his hand away to remove the clothes. On his arm, there was a cluster of many wounds which looked like blade wounds. The cuts were sharp and neat. Old and new cuts were stacked on top of each other.
“What… is this?”
He pulled his arm out of grasp, put on his clothes, and did not respond.
“Pei Ziheng!” Xia Ling looked at him angrily, but her voice was slightly shaking. “Tell me how you got these scars!” She clearly remembered that until the last night before her death, he always held her to sleep and did not have such scars on his arm. Then, did they appear after that?
After that, what exactly happened?!
“Why do you have scars like that on your arm?!” She tried her best to conceal the quiver in her voice.
After returning to his side after her rebirth, she did not look at him closely, so she only realized now that he actually had such terrible scars on his body. This scared her more than infinite punches and kicks because, instinctively, she knew what they were.
She still remembered that during her year of imprisonment, she tried to commit suicide before when she could not tolerate it any longer. She cut her wrist with a sharp piece of broken porcelain. The effect was roughly like that… No, they were not as neat or cruel as that…
There was a type of calm madness on his arm.
Pei Ziheng still did not answer and only turned around. “It’s late. Go to sleep.”
Xia Ling looked at his back. “Pei Ziheng, are you keeping something from me? I don’t care if it’s about Wang Jingwan, your fight with Skyart Entertainment, or the wounds on your arm… Pei Ziheng, what exactly do you take me for?”
His body slightly stiffened.
Xia Ling said, “Did you only take care of me to relieve your boredom? You never cared about what I thought about in my heart and only decided everything on your own. Do you know that I will also be shocked and scared?!”
“I did not take care of you to relieve my boredom.” He said in a low voice without looking back.
“Then why did you do it?!” She yelled. “Tell me!”
He was silent for a long time. Just as she was gradually losing hope and thought that he would not answer, he finally spoke. “Xiao Ling, ever since the day I brought you home, I made the decision to never let you experience any hardship. The world outside is too complicated, and I can’t tell you many things. However, that’s not because I don’t care about you. It’s because… I care too much about you.”
Xia Ling did not expect that he would say something like that and was caught off guard.
That’s true. For these years, he truly did take care of her well. If she had not disobeyed him, she guessed that she would be carefree and happy forever under his care.
However, was this love? No, at least it was not the love she wanted.
“Pei Ziheng, if you care about me, then tell me the truth.” Xia Ling looked at his back and said in a hoarse voice. “Tell me how you got the scars on your arm. What happened?”
He lifted his scarred arm slightly and looked down.
Xia Ling urged. “Pei Ziheng!”
“At that time, you fell from the stage.” He spoke very slowly as if he were restraining his emotions. “After that, I kept dreaming of you. Sometimes, I thought of you too much and would cut myself using a knife. After seeing the blood flow out, I would think about how much pain you felt when you fell down…”
His voice shook slightly as if he were crying. Without warning, he controlled his feelings.
Xia Ling did not probe further. Her heart felt as if it were kneaded into a ball, and she felt immeasurable pain. It was so strange. In her past life, he made her so miserable. She should feel happy and relieved, but she felt more sorrowful.
The atmosphere in the room was so suffocating that Xia Ling turned around, pushed the door open, and walked out.
It was already late at night. On the deck, the stars twinkled in the black velvet night sky. The salty taste of the sea could be detected from the wind. Xia Ling hugged her knees and sat on the edge of the deck. The waves sounded like they were drowning someone.
He regretted it.
After she paid the price with her life, he finally regretted it. Thus, after getting her back, he treated her with more care and caution.
However, this price was so terrifying.
Xia Ling thought about her happy past which vanished with the sudden marriage more than three years ago. When she first learned that Wang Jingwan was going to marry him, she was so shocked, angry, and scared that she thought her entire world was falling apart…