Chapter 243 - I Dont Have The Right
She didn't have to see him off. But Sumire figured that he was in a bad mood after what happened last night. Indeed the moment he picked her up from the hospital he didn't say much. It was quite a walk from the train station to here and yet Sumire noticed that he didn't bring his car or even bike. Her gaze flickered towards the man beside her and hummed. If he is going to sulk then maybe she ought to do the same? Still, that surprised her a bit last night. Who would have thought that Yuhi would get that angry?
Her thoughts broke off when she heard the sound of something dripping. In the next second when she looked up, she saw heavy droplets of water fall from the sky. Soon it turned into a downpour.
Yuhi grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her aside startling her.
A car quickly went by and Sumire blinked. His senses are as quick as ever.
"Ah, it's raining." She didn't bring an umbrella or anything with her since she did not think she would take long.
It feels like quite some time has passed since she last watched the rain like this. She almost forgot about the sensation of the rain.
Sensation huh? In the next second, she felt a pair of familiar arms wrap around her and she laughed softly. It seems like he is done with his sulking.
"Be not defeated by the rain, nor let the wind prove you better. Succumb not to the snow of winter, nor be bested by the heat of summer. Best strong in body. Unfettered by desire."
Sumire blinked when she heard his next words. Her gaze softened. Indeed, it seems like Yuhi-san has a hard time staying mad at her. Last night he seemed quite upset but now there is no longer any trace of that. In fact, she knew that he was struggling not to touch her.
"Not enticed to anger, cultivate a quiet joy."
Yuhi chuckled. "Well, it seems you studied those books I gave you."
Sumire rolled her eyes at his words. "Of course I do. You're a person with good taste in books."
He laughed a little and softly placed a kiss on her forehead. "Just books huh?" He tugged on her hand. "So you came all the way to see me off. But I think you're forgetting something."
"Nuh- were not near yet." Sumire immediately understood what he wanted.
Yuhi mumbled something against her cheek. "I thought you would find it romantic, kissing in the rain that is."
At that comment, she looked at him dumbfounded. Uh, wait is he serious about this? It did not take her long to figure out that he was serious. Yuhi was awkwardly scratching his face and averting his gaze, cheeks flushed.
"Why are you getting embarrassed?"
If he gets flustered she will end up even more embarrassed than before. She already figured that he was going to do something weird after the poetry thing but this is beyond her expectations. What is with this person? One second he is so calm and rational then the next he behaves like this. Then again she supposes this is what made them similar.
Normally she is able to keep her composure but when she is in front of this person she loses it in an instance, honestly sometimes she wonders what she is doing.
Her lifestyle now differs from before, and she can finally experience happiness. But she cannot let her guard down completely. The moment she lets her guard down is usually when something bad happens.
Sumire turned around and got a proper look at his face. By this point, his face was completely red. Her gaze softened as she gently ran her hands across his cheek. This person genuinely cares for her, he genuinely loves her.
"Uh now that I think about it, this is quite embarrassing."
Sumire rolled her eyes. "Are you going to back down now?"
"Well." His lips curve to a smile. "Even if I back down I don't think you will."
"My assault will come when we are at the station."
Yuhi laughed. "I see the town, we should be there in half an hour at most."
Half an hour left huh? Sumire didn't realize how far they had walked without talking. But even then the silence wasn't uncomfortable. Indeed it seems like if it is this person she can truly live a normal life.
I don't deserve happiness or to live a normal life.
I don't deserve to be selfish or to be loved.
But when she is with Terashima Yuhi all those things she doesn't deserve become a reality. What an odd situation this is. How many years did she spend strengthening her resolve? To think it would all come crumbling down at a single person's words- her thoughts broke off when she saw Yuhi look at her with a gentle smile.
"There is still time, maybe we should stop by somewhere and eat?"
…..
The place Yuhi brought her to was a fast-food burger joint near the school. Sumire blinked and burst into laughter. Most guys would take the girls they like to a fancy place. But it seems like none of that stuff matters to Yuhi. Then again this is one of the things she loves about him. How he is so straightforward and honest.
Sumire tugged on his arm. "You're not very fancy are you?"
Yuhi looked away awkwardly. "Well, I thought about it and I thought those places would make you uncomfortable."
'Of course, it is for her sake again.' It seems like she has underestimated the love and care he has for her.
"I want to sit by the window."
Yuhi laughed and squeezed their intertwined hands. "I thought the same too."
Once they took their seat, Yuhi ordered for them. Sumire stared at the man who took his laptop out. "Are you busy?"
"Mmm, just working on something so everything runs smoothly tomorrow."
"When the food comes you should focus on the food."
Yuhi chuckled. "I won't over do it."
She wonders why this person can still smile around somebody like her. How can he smile when he knows how messed up her personality is? 'What an unusual person.' Is he serious about accepting everything about her? If it is Yuhi could she tell him everything?
No, that is a dangerous thought.
If she were to tell him everything then he would most certainly hate her. He would look at her with the same disgust as everybody else and leave her. She can't afford for that to happen. Now that she has caught a small glimpse of happiness, she does not want to let it go.
How selfish of her to have such thoughts.
Didn't she let go of such meaningless thoughts before?
Happiness is a foreign existence for her.
It was something she let go of a long time ago. Somebody like her does not deserve to be happy. A person like her should continue living in despair, the right to be happy - she should not have such thoughts at all.